2- The Art Of Manipulation
by DTA2013
Summary: Sometimes what you only see what a person wants you to see! What happens when Emily doesn't see the danger, Can JJ and the Team reach her in time? Summary not great please R&R... Themes of abuse...Don't like don't read...Part of the Manipulation: Series
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

**There will be changes in this story since I notice this is where I started to get somewhat distorted, I notice too many mistakes I have changed some details for them who are reading this again. Ages have been changed to fit in better. Please R&R as always. And thank you to them whom have pointed out the mistakes….**

**I do not own criminal minds they belong to their rightful owner's cbs**

**The art of manipulation**

**Date and time: 02.00, June 1999**

**Location: Manchester England,**

You get to a point in your life when something clicks I was told a long time ago to write what I feel but what if writing it down it becomes real? What if letting this out makes it real.

At 13 I learnt how to manipulate people make them think feel what I wanted them to feel what I wanted them to see and I still do it now, scary thought isn't it! You thought you knew me. You know only what I want you to know and see.

I became what in your eyes I should be, polite to an extent of what is classed as normal, say your p&q's, never quite understood what the q stands for but I am sure it bears no real reason, it's the quality you portray to people it's what they see, and not what you see!

There is one thing that I am scared of and that is of myself, if I let it out and become what I want to be or maybe I should say it is what I want to do. What will I become?

What I feel like doing sometimes and I guess as they say these days '**turns you on gets you off.' **I'd love nothing more than to wrap my hands around someone's neck and watch the life leave their eyes, but I know this is wrong so I cage it away,

I leave it at the back of my mind but sometimes it comes to the front, not as often as it used to, but it's there deep seated in my mind it's the part I fear, I lose my temper I get angry at everything but mainly the anger is at myself.

Things I hate about people, even my so called friends they think I like to be hugged touched when the fact is I hate it, but you move to get away to get their hands off you. Their so-called care and love in a better way because if makes me feel sick.

I hate it but yet to inflict pain more so and mainly to a man well that is something else! A man thinks with their pants or what is in their pants wonder if they still would still think with their pants if it were chopped off?

Yet the other side of me knows this is wrong it is not right so I hide it.

People say I would make a great dad! I know I would not, due to the fact that I know more than likely I would kill it, and in my mind that seems okay.

But I know it's not. they say I have bipolar but I know they are wrong on some level, because I hide half of myself away, that one part of me that sometimes screams to be let out. The thing is it is coming more often, so therefore I stay away from people from the world because here I am safe and they are safe from me!

The problem is I know maybe too much, I have seen it, I have heard it, they would lock me away and I would hate that. I do not want that I need to be free, but something inside says I am not free I am a prisoner in my own mind and I know it. I can feel it. Yes, I am a bubbly person, I can get on with mainly anyone but I do not fit in and I know that! I look in the mirror and I do not see me I see a shell of what I am meant to be, or should be. Therefore, I lock myself away...

I watch these programs on crime and I know where they went wrong, they acted on it! You cannot lock someone up for thinking, but you can if they act on it so I take the pills they do not help they do not suppress the feeling and the want.

They ask me if I hear voices I use to now, they only visit every so often, and they only come when I allow them to. Maybe I should allow them more room, the questions I have, to see what a killer sees.

However, I am no killer I just think it that. That is the difference; I wonder how many others think it and feel it?

I do not care what you think when you read this to be honest, I never care what anyone thinks no more.

I am some semblance of me, or part of me. Maybe it is me but there again, I learnt to play the game a long time ago, when they found out I cut the one part of my life I could control and they took that away from me, because it is wrong to hurt yourself?

However, do we not hurt ourselves every time we smoke and drink alcohol? But there again smoking and drinking is normal because you cannot see the damage that you really are inflicting of yourself! Just a shame you cannot see it or feel it yet? Therefore, you self-harm and mutilate your own body.

You will when the alcohol eats away at your mind or that cough from smoking clogs your lungs so you struggle to breathe, and take in that air that you so badly need. However, by then it will be too late for you!

At least with just taking that blade and letting some of that blood out does not kill you, but it is deemed wrong in this world. However, someone to cover their body in tattoos and piercing is fine. Is that not a little bit fucked up?

That is still harming yourself but in your eyes, it is classed as art as someone's free will. However, when you hurt yourself there is something wrong with you, because you have inflicted that pain on to yourself!

Would you rather I cut another person or control my mind enough to take that angry and pain out on myself? Maybe I have had it wrong for the past 19yrs oh I forgot you all think I started cutting when my grandparents died. Nevertheless, you will find yourselves very much wrong! I started at 12 I just hid it very well. If that stupid sister of mine had not come out her bedroom, they still would not know! However, she did and off to the shrink I was thrown! Yet no one asked me what I wanted or needed? A child has no say or no rights do they?

They say childhood experiences have made me like this. Let me tell you something about my childhood, it was a good one I just hate my family and wished they would either die or fuck off and leave me alone!

My mum I guess you could say liked to sweep things under the carpet let's see the bulling got put under the rug until I walked out of school at 14 and told her to try and make me go back! First time she listened so I went to another school, that too was full of freaks and idiots that thought they were better than everyone else was, who even told me I would need a hell of a lot of luck with my future and where are they now?

Let us see, they all had kids when they left school, single mums and dads yes that is something to aspire to be. I think not you could not keep your legs shut. I just hope your kids go through the hell I went through. Bullied mentally and physically and then you will know what you did to us few who did not hang or kill ourselves even though their parents blame it on drugs.

Ahh drugs yes been there, done that and it did nothing for me, same with the drink it just numbed the pain, and I never worked out what it was though. However, what would I know?

So I left school started work because as mum said I am not like my sister I would not cope. If you put someone down enough and often enough, they believe it or you all that fucking thick?

Therefore, I worked at the stables and yes, I loved it, but then I went and worked at the pub and everyone hated it! Why, because I would work, over 60/70 hours a week, or was it because I was earning more money than you mum?

My sister had it easy in my eyes everyone loved her, wanted to be around her. She would say jump, and people would say how high? Talk about sheep!

You all hated my job my relationships well like you say it will not last so therefore you made me commit myself to a life where I will have no one! Aside from the fact, I do not trust people!

You see anyone I have trusted, had or have let me down just the way life is so therefore you rely on yourself and no one else and you screw up. Me more so than most but there you go I am 25 and have nothing no life, hardly any friends but there again maybe that is for the best.

I know I am fat my mum has said it enough hell even the doctors says it. So there it is imprinted in my mind even when I was 11, stone I was still fat in your eyes and now that's all I see is fat so thank you for making me hate myself!

At 15 I had keyhole surgery yet another doctor judging me, but I kept my mouth shut which I have learnt to do sometimes, but sometimes it gets the better of me and then I get shouted at but like he said the pain in my knees is all in my head because I self-harm?

I have never worked out how pain is connected to the fact that I self-harm and here I am, haven't done it in a while but yet I want to take that blade and cut but I won't because then everyone will look at me like I've hurt them. How the fuck do I hurt you it is not you that I took the blade to my fucking body.

However, you act, as though it is yours. Don't do this don't do that but yet there you are drinking four bottles of wine a night but that is fine isn't it? You judge me because you are so perfect. However, you are not, your pathetic, a cancer!

I will never forget or forgive you for that either. Why is it you having cancer my fault again? People wonder why I hate my birthday why I would rather forget it well here it is at 24 sat around for a meal and my mum blurts out that if she ever gets cancer it is my fault because I smoke.

The fact that one I have never smoked near her second I do not even live with her it is my fault? It is easier to blame me than to take responsibility for your own actions! The fact that dad smoked over 40 fags a day and smoked them in the same room as you had nothing to do with it NO!

It is my fault yet again, seems I am to blame for a lot of things and I wonder why I'd be better off dead but even that would be my fault like you never drove me to do half the things I do?

That would be to easy never except the fact that half the reason I am as I am is because you made me that way. Putting me down telling me I weren't good enough I'd never amount to anything I'm not like my sister and thank god I'm not like her!

However, I am like her in so many ways you just do not see it. I had it imprinted in my mind when I found out you had cancer, which you never told me I found out. Wrong place wrong time no matter what you say that would be my fault maybe you should just blame me for everything, grans and nans death the dog dying or the fact that now your half the person you was!

Because your body if failing you call me fat but yet you are so perfect nothing wrong with you but you are fat so is dad my sister half starves herself because she does not want to end up like you. Should that not tell you something?

And yes for the record I hate my mother when I needed her the most she palmed me off to someone else instead of talking to me but thank you mum for teaching me one thing how to make people see what they want to see and hear what they want to hear! You did a bang up job of it give yourself a pat on the back!

So I got into a relationship with a girl that was a mistake but the mistake was mine! fact my mum hates anyone I am with, I don't care what she thinks anymore because she never thought anything of me to start with I am a pawn for them to use when they need me but when I need them they don't come!

My sister fucks me off she was the one that wanted three kids if you cannot cope you should have kept your legs shut instead you rely on me to help you.

However, when I do not want to you turn on them fucking tears or you bitch at mum who then bitches at me because I am not helping you! Yet none of you see what it is doing to me being around you kills me that little bit more every day!

However, the other side of me loves my sister and would do anything for her and my family. Because somewhere in this fucked up head of mine. I guess you could say I care about them.

I would not say love them because if I am honest I do not think I can love anyone I have feelings yes and I do cry but as for love I very much doubt it!

Does that make me a cold-hearted person? No, it does not, well not to me anyway but there again, it is now 2.24am when I write this and according to you all its wrong not to sleep! I am tried I am worn out but not for the reasons you think I am broken and I know I am.

I have been for a very long time but you do not see it because I do not let you see it because I am scared that you will lock me away. I am locked away in my mind and you'd want to lock me in a hospital so why am I doing this now why am I letting this out why am I telling someone this now.

The fact I know deep down I don't have bipolar it's the new trend that you seem to give everyone these days you don't know what's wrong with them its bipolar well think again yes I do have some traits of bipolar but have you ever thought that is just the surface that is just one part of me?

Oh I have played the game for so long I don't even think I know myself anymore surrounded by lies because you all needed a reason for what I do why I do it why I lose control why I like hurting myself why I have no control over my life or myself, but yet I do. Otherwise, I would be in prison for murder wouldn't I. So I do have control never been in trouble with the law.

I remember when I was a kid I found the sheer enjoyment out of pulling the legs off frogs did you know they still try to move once you pull their legs off fascinating really in a sick twisted way! Pulling the wings off daddy longs legs they do not die either.

Why is it when you kick the shit out of a dog it still comes back to you? I thought they were intelligent. Maybe not oh well. This is the side I do not let people see I do not need them to see because I control it.

It is funny you pull a fish out of water it still attempts to breath? Takes a few mins for it to die and yet there eyes never closed maybe the lack of eyelids have something to do with it but anyway.

Oh don't think for one second I will hurt someone because I won't but the thought is there it is laid out in front of me in front of my world it is part of me my being my soul,

I obsess with things and I know I do, but not the things you would expect! That's messed up isn't it, I have a thing for DVDs and it fucks me off when I cannot find what I want oh well story to my life.

I have no pity for people they get what they get because there card has already been dealt, it was dealt the second they took that first breath and it will stay with you, until you take your last breath. As I write this I have no feelings behind it other than I am too tired to hide away anymore too tired to make people see what they need or want to see.

My biggest wish in life and I only have one would be for people to leave me alone in a sense sometimes it is nice to talk to people other times I have nothing to say not because there is nothing to say.

Because what I have to say or I am thinking has no meaning has no point no sheer reason, but it is there it is a pattern as much as the person who acts on it they have no control over themselves which is a shame but there again maybe sometimes it would be good to let go.

But then my caring my reasoning side takes over and I am put back away into the shadows but yet I lurk around hoping that someday I can see the light of day but I know you won't allow it because you fear me which in fact means you fear yourself which is never a nice thought!

I was once asked to do this and now I have and if you read this, if I allow it, which I might, and more than likely will. Please do not try to lock me away because that half of me is under control I have no understanding of why I feel like this but I do and am too tired to keep this mask on.

I can tell you the point it got worse and I was 23 when it got out of hand I cut to stay in control, you took that away so how do I control myself? I am lost I have always been lost if anyone cared to fully read my history because even I know my files are big! Nevertheless, you will not because you have little time to study people in-depth to fully understand their way of thinking.

In addition, for the record, I have been depressed where there is no hope everything is empty and black but it is still like that. However, I know it is not depression. That second I find a balance inside myself it is black it is empty it is like looking through another's eyes and watching myself but it is me it is part of me we all have different parts mine I hide well because people don't need to see it.

They don't need to see or feel it you want to know how I harm myself now is by sex there you go I have sex with men. It hurts I hate it but if I do not cut, mum leaves the guilt trip away from me so therefore I might not build more hate towards her and my family is it normal to do this! NO?

Do people do it yes do they admit to it more than likely not. I try to make people happy but it makes them feel good but for me I'm left empty a vacant shell of what I was but who cares about me I sure as hell don't I have been used by everyone why stop now.

25 years of being used, blamed, and made to feel like nothing, it is a hard path to change to except that maybe you are something, but that second you feel you are something they will pull me back down so why should I even try?

Maybe this time I will not even try to hide and cage myself!


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

**Location: Unknown**

**Date: 1, December 2004**

Hello my friend, it is a long time since I have written in here, but in 3 years a lot can change. I have moved from England and now reside in America. I am now a citizen of this state; it may have something to do with the, demise of my parents but there again brakes fail on cars a lot if you have an oil leak!

So in the past few years I have found my feet so to speak I bought a lovely home away from everyone it is on the outskirts of town, four storey, cellar, living area, bedrooms and on the upper level there is the attic.

It is isolated with enough land to be able to do the things I want to do. I seem to have acquired a couple of cats, they come for food and water and other scrapes I throw out for them.

I live on the outskirts of DC, it is a loving area, and I visit the town sometimes, though not very often, only if I am required to. I find the best thing about living here is the fact that the cars are fair bigger than the ones back home. More boot space, and more space inside which makes things far easier.

It occurred to me years ago to become a ghost, to move countries away from my family. And after my parents, premature death there was nothing stopping me. They had left my sister and me a small fortune and with that, I was able to move and go where I choose.

I don't need a job I have enough work within my land to keep me busy, I have been off my medication since arriving here and in the first time in my life I feel free. I have become the person that I have caged for so long.

The first year I arrived here and found this house and fell in love with it, I have reconstructed the inside changing the layout, I have installed cameras in each room, but the part I am most proud of is the cellar to me it is a thing of beauty I shall walk you through it.

The stairs leading down are made of steel, far better than the wooden ones that were there, more sturdy, there is no natural light so I fitted better lighting far easier to see now. The first room has a small bed in it; I would say it is the size of a jail cell back home, never seen ones here. The room itself is darker than the others are, since I do not go in there to watch anything.

The second room is more like a bathroom, cask iron bath that is screwed into the floor, which is lit with a low light. The third room is my favourite room, now you see this is a room I have always dreamed of it is slightly bigger than the others are. There are so many different toys and tools that are in there, from branding equipment to a cage and bondage items. However, my prize possession is the table it can rotate so you are laying or standing it is a beautiful piece of equipment.

Now the fourth room is much like the third but it is a lot more severe than that room. Whips and floggers line the wall all more severe than the first I must admit I love the studded flogger makes so many beautiful marks on the flesh. I have sexual equipment as well in that room, the celling is mirrored. Which I just love my pets can see everything that happens, more enjoyment really depending how you look at it.

They seem to come so easy, I offer a small amount of money and here they end up, they will not be missed. To me if you are going to sell your body you get everything you deserve, they are trash no one will miss them because they are no one.

I met a beautiful woman the other night she was in the bar with a few other girls, but there is one small problem, she seems very strong and fully aware of everything that happens around her. This pretty little blonde seems to watch her every move, really looking at it, it make me feel sick how her eyes roam her body like that. They dance flirt back and forth. People like that should not be allow to go into a bar and act like that. And not only that, she humiliated me, all I did was ask her if I could buy her a drink, her eyes trailed over my body like I was some sort of meat as she then blew me off after letting me meet her friends. I will get to know that brunette a lot better than that blonde seems to know her she needs to be cured.

I have learnt so much about the human body. How much a body can sustain before it succumbs to death it really is fascinating! I have found that living where no one knows you or can hear you is a great asset to one's inability or ability to practice. I do like to see them hobble on their hands and knees leading them from room to room. A woman on all fours isn't that how they are meant to be.

**Date: 2 December,**

So I went out today to a very expensive place I am going with if you want to attract the nice women you need to dress accordingly. I find it very odd in fact that a person is willing to spend so much money to appear nice and rich, but this is what I must do if I am going to be able to get near that beautiful woman I saw.

She and her friends seem to always go to the same bar I would say after every work day but sometimes they do not show up for a few days she must work longer hours and the bar closes before she finishes her shift. However, I must work on befriending them and since I have changed so much since she first saw me.

But this bar in prime hunting ground as many seem to come from money and some even come alone I was speaking to one lady today she was telling how bad her life was as a lawyer is and how she has to deal with these scum of the earth, her words I wonder what she is thinking now?

Well she is already crying and whining she lacks that fight maybe removing her breasts was not, the best way to go with this one she bled out very fast. Must remember not to remove them again never knew they held so much blood inside them strange. I will dispose her body later tonight! The bathtub comes in handy when things become bloody. Not much to clean up so that means I can hunt again tonight.

**Date: 4 December,**

The problem with taking rich little girls is people notice! But this one I took yesterday seems to have a fight in her so she should last longer than the other, she screamed when the hot iron were placed on her naked skin, but the ice cold bath afterwards seemed to help her as she only whimpered then maybe it helped having the metal gag in place.

I may see what she feels like inside later I am letting her rest right now in the tub she has candles for light and the tape I have playing for her will help greatly I think.

**Date: 4 December,**

Letting her rest for two hours seemed to help she never move or whined when I placed myself inside her, she also seemed to like being flogged as she hung there not making a sound which makes me want to hurt her more, break her. Maybe I should let her know that once she has been broken I will let her go. That could help I may try that later and see what reaction I get.

**Date: 6 December,**

Well she lasted 3 days in total I found a new one as well not so long after I placed the other in the park. This one is a challenge though she is really pissing me off, she screams and cries and I have not yet done anything to her but what worries me is the fact she is a daughter of someone in the government so if I let her go they will find me.

So maybe I should just kill her instead of playing with her. However, maybe not for that would just be a waste!

**Date: 15 December,**

Well she lasted a lot longer her body finally gave out but I must now lay low for a while.

I will write soon my friend


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

**Location BAU**

**December 2004**

"Come in all who dare" came the bright voice as JJ walked in "You know Hotch will make you do a drug test one day don't you" Garcia laughed, "That will be on the day I am not me" she beamed "So what can I do for you?" JJ dropped into the chair "She haunts me Garcia and when I say haunts I close my eyes and all I see is her" Garcia grinned "Naked, sexy and" she joked as JJ slapped her arm slightly "So not funny, but yes" JJ smirked.

"You're so not helping" Garcia smiled "JayJ I know you will work it out and I can tell she likes you, all them touches the way she looks at you, she checks your ass out that much, I am surprised it hasn't set on fire yet and your just as bad" Garcia pointed out. "I do not check her out" Garcia raised her eyebrow "Honey you undress that poor woman every day, if you had your way she would be walking around the bullpen naked" JJ let her head hit the table "What do I do" she groaned, "Tell her" Garcia smirked.

Making her way to Hotch's office she walks in "we have a case" her voice was slightly weaker than normal, she handed him the file "Get everyone into the conference room" JJ nodded, walking onto the catwalk "Sorry guys" JJ said holding up the case file.

"Bodies of local prostitutes have been found over the past week, "JJ said as she handed the files out. "That is" Emily closed her eyes slightly "One survived?" looking at the file. "The latest one, she has suffered from a gunshot wound to the head, it has done some damage as you can tell by the photo." Hotch cut in "We need to get moving, she maybe our only witness and 10 bodies in seven days," they all nodded moving to get their go-bags "Wheels up in 30" Hotch said as he walked out.

The team gathered round in the middle of the jet going over the files.

"Could we be looking at a cleaner?" Emily asked "There isn't anything significant other than they are all prostitutes" she pointed out. "Prostitutes are the most likely victims, the No. 1 victims. They are the easiest targets. After all, they get into cars and put their lives in the hands of strangers." Emily rolled her eyes "Thank you Doctor Reid"

Morgan opened the laptop "What you got for us baby girl?"

"Well my fellow fighters, not a lot really, I have been digging back the past six months like you asked, there have been a few killings but not like the ones, when you give me more I will give you more Garcia out" Morgan smiled cutting the signal.

"When we land you and Prentiss check out the dump sites, talk to the working girls around and see if they have seen anything," Hotch said. "JJ I need you to set up a press release but don't release it and then help Reid work on the profile. Me and Rossi will go to the hospital" they all nodded their agreements. "Get some rest so we can hit the ground running, before the body count gets any worse"

Emily carried on working on the file, as JJ sat in front of her "Is she okay?" Emily half smiled "She wants me home, as she always does but she is with Tracey. And I am sure she is being her normal" Emily joked, "I swear I was never that bad at her age." JJ scoffed "I bet you was worse Emily" JJ teased.

"Ladies" Morgan said kindly "Where not doing anything," the young girl said looking at him and Emily "I know we just need to ask you something, you're not in trouble" Emily assured them. "Did you happen to know Ruby?" Morgan asked "Why do you care, we are trash to you, no one wants to help us." She replied abruptly.

"You're not trash and we do care" Emily stated, "I know her" Crystal said, "We aren't scum you know, she just wanted to do right by her daughter." Emily nodded "I know, does she have a regular?" she nodded "Yeah, he is a bit rough but she never minds, pays well enough;" she gave them a description of the man but even Morgan knew it was not going to be much help.

"Well at least we know he is white" Emily mused "What I don't get is why just start if he has been using the girls for a while? I know he might not be, the unsub but he must know them and" Emily rambled slightly as he phone distracted her. "For the love of god" she curse reading the message "Prentiss everything okay, you seem" Emily cut him off "Everything is just fine, just wish Sarah would behave for once."

"How do you think Hotch and Rossi have got on?" he mused as they got in the car "Hopefully better than us", why don't you ask Garcia to run the name through, he may have been given a ticket" Morgan nodded making the phone call.

Emily looked at the board which Reid was working on "How's it coming, " she asked "Well I have got it down to this area, but it would be helpful to know if this was the area they worked in" Reid said "That should be easy, most of these girls will have records ." Emily said picking up the list of victims.

"Speak and you shall be heard" Garcia voice flew out the speaker "Garcia I need you to find out everything about these victims, I have got the locals pulling their normal haunts up, but" Emily trailed slightly "Oh, you could give me something harder, you always have fun without me" she pouted. "Thank you" Emily said cutting the phone off.

Hotch and Rossi gave them the information that they had managed to get off the victim. "Let's head to the hotel its 9 now, get some rest and meet here at seven." Hotch said looking at his watch.

"Hey JJ, how is it going" JJ sighed, "Garcia I can't even concentrate around her, just shoot me" Garcia chuckled "Sounds like You have got it bad, JJ talk to her please she won't bite you" JJ laughed "Well unless you like that" she mused causing JJ to blush.

They met back in the briefing room; Emily had spent most of the night working on the case, unable to settle fully. "Did you even sleep?" JJ said, "I rested" JJ rolled her eyes slightly as they made their way into the station.

"How's it going Reid?" Emily asked standing in front of the map. "I have got it down to this area and this is the dump site leaving four blocks in his comfort area" Emily rubbed his shoulder as Hotch spoke "I think we are ready to give the profile" Reid went to disagree, but he was too late.

They all stood along the far wall. Sometimes it would look as though they were facing a firing squad/

Rossi started the profile "All 10 killings were the work of one person. Body clusters indicate strong evidence that only one person is responsible for the murders. He is familiar with sites where bodies were found, the victims new him. Drives in a van or 4-door car, at least 3 years old, not well maintained, and drives conservatively."

"He will be of average or slightly higher intelligence, don't be surprised if he is married with children or it may have just broken down." Emily said.

"Some will say he is a social person and others will say he has few friends and low self-esteem. Small in stature, and unassuming in appearance. 5' 10" tall, he is in good shape, he is white and has no racial preference in his choice of victims." Morgan stated.

"He will more than likely, still will see prostitutes, and he will have a record for this. He will be between his mid-20s and early 30s. He is basically shy and has strong personal feelings of inadequacy - nonviolent encounters with prostitutes, but he will have unsettle them," Hotch added

"Is not the type who can hustle, women in a bar. He is not a smooth talker, is shy and has very strong feelings of inadequacy. He has felt that he has been 'burned' or 'lied to and fooled by women one too many times.' In his way of thinking, women are no good and cannot be trusted, and he feels women will prostitute themselves for whatever reason, and when he sees women openly prostituting themselves, this makes his blood boil. "Reid added.

"Has a strong interest in police work. Killer may have initiated contact with victims by posing as a police officer or other authority figure. He will however, been raised by both his natural parents. And his mother would have been very domineering. He is an angry individual who likes to demonstrate power over his victim. He enjoys the publicity he is receiving; this is why we are trying to keep it out of the press." JJ said softly

"You're on speaker baby girl" Morgan warned "I like it when we share stud" JJ bit back a giggle "What do you have Garcia?" "Right well it seems the man wasn't that careful, DNA has been found in the first victim, and lucky for us he gives blood" Emily shivered at the thought "That's just wrong" Morgan raised his eyebrow "Anyway I have a name John Matthews, the address should be on your PDA's, be safe Garcia out"

They had been at a standoff for the past half an hour; no one dared move or shoot. The small boy was crying in his arms being used as a shield. "I've got this Hotch," Emily said carefully, her eyes locking with the small boys.

"John I need you to listen to me, what you're doing right now isn't right," she said softly "You don't know anything." He sneered; "I know you love your son" his eyes fell to the boy for a second. "I also know you don't want him to come to any harm, but right now you are scaring him, look at him John." She paused slightly. "You don't know what you're talking about"

"I know what it is like for a child to fear someone they love, and you don't want him to grow up scared of you." She seemed to get his attention, "These officers will shoot and if you are the type of father I think you are you will let the boy go. Don't cause him any more pain" Emily could not help the tears welling in her eyes as she spoke.

"Whoa Prentiss, how on earth did you" she shook her head "No parent wants to scare the child they love" Emily said as she walked back over to the car. John had let his son go after staring at Emily for the past twenty minutes, before the suicide by cop began.

"You fancy joining us for a movie?" JJ asked once they had gotten back "Not tonight I might just go and have a drink and clear my head before dealing with Sarah" Emily mused, "Well if you want company" JJ smiled. Emily placed her hand on her lower back "I know I will ring if I do, I promise"


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

**Location: ****Roman's Pub,**** Potomac Avenue.**

**2004. Friday.**

I had been coming here often now for a full month I was what they classed now as a regular, I would also now had chance to talk to the brunette and get to know her. I knew she was not one who would just walk off with someone she did not know but tonight it was different.

As I see her sitting alone at the bar tonight swirling the whiskey in her glass so the cubes hit gently against the glass something just seemed off about her as though for the first time in this month she was not fully aware,

Her eyes looked sad and for a second I thought she might have been crying, so I approached her.

"Hey Emily everything okay?"

She lifted her head slightly turning it to face me. She gave me a half smile before she responded.

"I guess I will be just been a hard week" Emily replied softly.

'It hadn't really been a tough case but it had hit her emotionally, but everyone knew when kids were involved like that she tended to want to be alone, half of her wanted to go home, but the other half right now wanted to stay away from her daughter. Therefore, she ordered herself another whiskey.

Sarah had become a handful in a matter of months, the team knew she was playing up and getting into a lot of trouble at school, Emily had tried to find the underlying cause of it all. However, Sarah would just fight her on it. She had considered getting a hotel room for the night just so she could relax before the onslaught of her daughter's mood set in.'

"Where is the rest of your group?" I enquire softly showing some concern.

"I just didn't feel like their company tonight they wanted to see a movie" Emily replied somewhat distantly.

I studied her for a moment maybe this was my chance to finally have her finally capture her, I replied making my voice seem concerned and somewhat hurt

"I'll leave you be then" I turned to move away hoping she may take the bait they I had laid down hoping that the alcohol had taken some of her instincts away her and her friends always seemed aware of everything apart from weekend when they seemed to let go.

Emily rested her hand on his arm to stop him from leaving

"Rob your fine to stay" Emily answered the last case had taken it out of her she wanted to break away from the team her family for just one night.

I nodded and smiled softly at her she had taken some of the bait maybe tonight she will walk into my trap.

"Let me get you another drink, what are you having?" I asked in a polite manner.

"Whiskey on the rocks please"

I order our drinks whiskey for Emily and shandy for myself

"Do you want to get a table?" I ask as I hand her the drink.

I guide her to an empty booth away from the groups of people I place our drinks down as she turns and looks at me

"I am just going to the bathroom," Emily said softly with a small smile.

There is something about the kindness of a stranger that can warm your heart even though he was not really a stranger they had been talking on and off for over a year.

He always seemed kind easy to talk with joked around with the boys and yet he had never asked them what their job was or try and make himself seem any more than a business man, aside from the flirting he wasn't that bad in her eyes.

This was perfect I thought to myself I sat down in the booth slipping some ghb into her glass just enough to make her seem more drunk than she was, smirking to myself. This was really happening!

"Is everything okay?" I asked when she returned

"Yes no complaint's here, So Rob tell me about your-self?" Emily asked softly

I smiled softly at her before I replied. "Well I use to live in England until my parents died in a car accident. I moved over here not long after I live alone with my two cats and as you have noticed I like the beer in this bar and that just about sums me up"

I smile softly as I look into her eyes them chocolate eyes she is the most beautiful creature I have ever seen.

he was hansom with an English accent to die for pricing blue eyes, nearly as beautiful as JJ's, short brown hair that suited him very well she knew the suit was of expensive taste so he must have been brought up correctly.

He spoke softly, well built his muscles are defined and yet again he had not asked them about their jobs either this was part of the reason they all liked him. And Emily would have liked him more if he did not flirt with her every chance he got.

"Would you like another whiskey?" I can see the effects already the drug is having on her maybe she would ask for a ride home.

Emily shook her head "I think I should get going" Emily replied as she started to get up, she suddenly felt dizzy her head spun, she blinked to try to focus again but she could not.

"Would you like me to give you a ride home?" I ask my voice showing concern again "its okay I can get a cab." Emily replied before standing. "Here let me help you" I stand holding her as she tries to steady herself.

Emily felt her legs go to jelly "Must have had…" She never finished what she was saying I guide her outside and towards my suv helping into the passenger side.

I put her belt on before I close the door walking around to the driver's side I look over at her, her eyes were already closing her words were slurring as she tried to tell me the address.

However, I was not taking her home; I was taking her to my home. I grin to myself I had finally managed to capture her. I drive slowly towards my home she mumbles but I could not tell what she was saying and at this point I didn't care I just needed to get her into my cellar so she wouldn't be able to fight me.

I help her out the car; well I more or less carried her. I had the woman I was dreaming about in my arms she smelt like heaven to me and still in her drugged state, she still had this air of power about her.

I carefully carry her down into the cellar not once has she opened her eyes I place her into the cot placing the chain around her legs and strapping her arms down to her side my hand runs over her body her muscles twitch at my touch and she lets out a small moan.

Tonight I let you sleep it is no fun when you are drugged, and tomorrow we can have some fun. I kiss her on her forehead before standing to leave as I double check her restraints closing the metal door behind me I lock the door and slid the three bolts across as I head back upstairs to rest.

**Location: JJ's home**

**Late Friday Night **

"Damn it Emily will you answer your phone this is now the 18th time I have rung you please ring me" JJ throw her phone down onto the sofa, she had not seen Emily since Friday when they went to the movies and Emily had declined the invitation. The last case had taken a lot out of her so JJ put it down to her needing space. And Sarah was becoming a handful.

Standing in the kitchen, she heard the phone ring she picked it up without looking at the id "Em?" Garcia smirked into the phone "No my blonde bombshell, She still not rung you?" Garcia asked the concern showing in her voice

"No, nothing I have left messages if I ring her anymore I think it may be classed as stalking, but she always rings me back even if she does need space" JJ responded the worry and fear in her voice.

"Go round to her place?" Garcia replied "Or would you like some company?"

"Company please" was all JJ managed as the tears took over and she sobbed into the phone.

Garcia rushed out of her apartment and straight into her car, she arrived twenty minutes later, walking up to the front porch she tapped on the door before letting herself in closing the door softly behind her she walked into the front room,

"JJ?" Garcia turns the lamp on to light the dark room seeing JJ curled up on the sofa sobbing. Garcia gently sat next to her rubbing her back "She'll be okay JJ she probably just needs to distress from the last case it took a lot out of everyone and we all know children effect Emily emotional"

JJ nodded as she moved to lean against her friend "She always answers me Garcia!" Garcia nodded "Does she know JJ?" Garcia asked softly

"No well I started flirting back more, I know she is having problems with Sarah but. God what have I done!" JJ sobbed she was now thinking this was the reason Emily was not returning her calls.

"JJ you and I both know Emily wouldn't do that she will be in work on Monday and this will all be over nothing" Garcia reassured her. "And we all know Sarah isn't helping things right now and you know how Emily is, she is way too stubborn to ask for help, just leave her this weekend she will ring you or speak to you on Monday I promise" JJ looked at her for a moment "I hope your right." Garcia chuckled "Honey, that dark haired profiler wouldn't last a day without talking to you" JJ sighed.

"Come on you need to get some rest" Garcia said as she helped her up. JJ nodded as she allowed Garcia help her upstairs and into bed "Thank you Garcia" JJ said as she settled into her bed.

"Sweet dreams and JJ talk to her, I can tell she likes you, but you know she is just scared." Garcia smiled as she watched JJ drift off before closing the door behind her locking the door and heading back home.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

**Location: Rob's house Minnie-Ville Road**

**2004**

**Early Hours Saturday Morning**

I awoke from my slumber still feeling quite pleased with myself I could hear a mumbled noise coming from downstairs "Ahh she is awake" I say aloud. I gather up some bread and water she might be thirsty as I walk down the stairs my boots making enough noise that she hears me. I start to hear her louder as I make my way down.

"Who are you?" Emily asks hoping that someone is there, she hears someone coming and quietens down a little bit. She is unsure where or whom she is with, as she tries to think back to last night. **'Okay I remember the bar and talking to Rob having a drink with him and the rest is blank!'** She thinks to herself.

The bolts are removed one by one she counted three in total, she hears the key being turned in the lock her mind tells her to be still. She needs to work this out she tries to move her arms they are bound to the bed she moves her legs and hears the metal clinking against each other "Damn it" She muttered to herself.

I enter the room I smile she is there I did not dream it she is mine. "Good morning Emily did you sleep well?" I ask in a kind voice. Emily turns and looks at him her eyes adjust to the dulled light. As he entered the room

"Rob? Where I'm I?" Emily slurs slightly. "Don't look so worried we are meant to be you are home now. I brought you some food and water let me help you up" I say

Emily looked at him; it was not registering what it he was saying her mind felt like muss as she nodded slightly. I help her to sit slightly keeping her tied she is not trained yet! I help her to eat a small amount of food and she drinks a full glass of water. This one I want to keep.

"I just want to talk to you today," I say softly. "What about?" Emily tried to test the bindings they were too tight to move. Her movements are weak and her mind still slightly blurry from the amount of drugs and drinks inside her.

"Before I answer that you need to listen to this I will be back in a while" I press play on the tape before I get up to leave, locking the door behind me just as I hear the first woman scream it is music to my soul.

Emily's eyes lit in shock and fear the screams ripping through her like a knife. It was not just the screaming that scared her, it was his voice and the way he introduce them, it made her physically sick. The tears come as I listen to each woman be beat and god knows what else he is doing to them.

Walking back down into the cellar two hours later. I unlock the door and walk in Emily's eyes are blood shocked, she has been crying I think to myself. "So I want to first speak to you about training. You will only speak when I say you can. You will only eat and drink if I allow it. And finally you will do as you are told I have seen you with them girls you go out with what's that blonde ones name again?"

Emily looked blankly at him was he referring to JJ or Garcia? "You do know it is wrong to look at another woman like that, don't you?"

Emily frowned slightly not wanting to answer not willing to reply. "Answer me!" I say in a firm voice. "I don't look at anyone in a wrong way" Emily replied the hate she had already formed showing in her voice.

I hit her across her face so hard that blood came from her lip

"Try again" I say

"They are my friends we are close that's all" Emily replies

"Very well" I stand and move closer to her, her arms try to break the binds as I start to rip her shirt off her, I hit the other side of her jaw "Keep still" I command and yet she still struggles against the rope and chains.

"You need a bath this won't take long!" It is always best to work with a clean body than one that is dirty. I cut her pants and underwear away from her. My eyes raking over her body she is nearly perfect.

After removing her clothes I bring the collar and fasten it around her neck this is a special collar once it is fastened; it will not be able to be removed "This collar means you are mine no one else's but mine I even had your name engraved on it. What do you say to me for this?" I ask

Emily looked at the metal collar as he placed it around her neck; she was unable to form words as he moved closer to her. She spat at him as she tried to move away.

"That wasn't nice," I bellow grabbing her hair yanking it back so she is looking upwards. "Was you never taught manners you say thank you! I can see you're going to be a hard one to train" placing the collar around her neck locking the padlock in place I retrieve the lead which I attach to the collar before collecting the metal cuffs which I place on each ankle.

Tying them together before turning her on to her front, I bring the other chain connecting it to the cuffs bringing it tightly along her back and attaching it to her new collar I place more cuffs on to each wrist again attaching it to the collar so she is only able to crawl on her knees and elbows.

Emily closed her eyes as the pain emanated up her body but she refused to make a sound a tear rolled down her cheek. He pulled her up placing her on the ground so she could crawl "Good girl now you have to walk with me so I can give you a bath" Emily groaned as tears fell from her eyes. She felt humiliated and scared for what was installed for her.

Emily had no choice but to obey but she won't give him the pleasure of hearing her thoughts, her knees grazed on the concrete as she slowly crawled to where he was taking her. He yanked cruelly on her collar as she struggled to keep up with him.

She felt the skin on her elbows cut and bleed, her knees the same finally she made it to the other room it was darker than the room she came from it was cold making her shiver with each movement. "Try anything and chains will be the least of the things you fear" He said as he slammed the door shut locking it before returning to her.

He removed one wrist and locked it on to one side of the bath he did the same with her ankle before he lifted her up. Emily took in a deep breath as her body came in touch with the ice-cold water. He tied her other wrist and ankle to the other side of the bath so she was just lying there unable to move and at this point unable to catch her breath as the coldness attacked her body.

Emily closed her eyes hoping for the best but fearing the worst as she heard something being wheeled over towards the bath. "If you move this will hurt, if you stay still it won't hurt as much!" Rob said as he started to weld the lock on her collar he did the same with the metal cuffs welded them in place. "See you belong to me now Emily what do you say"

Emily closed her eyes as she tried to see how much movement she had with her neck she stuttered the response out as the cold took a hold of her body "Th… t… hank yoo… you!" this time Rob patted her on her head "Good girl"

Emily's eyes went wide as she felt a rough cloth being rubbed against her body Rob was washing her with what she could only think of was a scouring pad.

It lasted for what felt like hours but truly was about five minutes before he stopped "Your clean now" he unclipped one ankle and attached it to the other cuff and he did the same with her wrists aside from he tied them behind her back.

Rob helped Emily to stand as he attached the lead onto the collar in effect she was hobbled. He guided her back to her room and placed the chains back on that kept her on the bed.

"I will see you tomorrow rest well"

**JJ's House**

**Early Saturday afternoon**

"Hey Garcia come in" JJ smiled opening the door, "I brought movies, popcorn, beer" she beamed JJ laughed slightly "Well in that case. Isn't it a little early for beer?" she mused closing the door "Never too early plus we aren't in till Monday." JJ rolled her eyes slightly "True and we are working from base this week" JJ smiled softly walking into the kitchen "So any word on my brown haired beauty?" Garcia smiled placing the beer in the cooler "Nothing, I guess Sarah has really done it this time" JJ sighed

"What is going on with Sarah these days?" Garcia asked, "Emily hasn't told you?" Garcia shook her head "Not a word to me, though it can't be as bad as her announcing to the whole of the bullpen that her mom is gay. I honestly think she hid for a full week," Garcia laughed.

"No its gotten worse" JJ said laughing at the memory "Hotch's face was a picture" Garcia teased "So was Rossi's I didn't know if I should have felt sorry for her or done my happy dance" JJ chuckled out. "Anyway, the latest that I know of has something to do with superglue, teacher and a chair and lets not even start on the lad she gave a broken nose to, Emily is already thinking of sending her to live with her Mother for a while in hope it will calm her down." Garcia's eyes went wide "She glued a teacher to a chair, oh I love that kid," JJ shook her head "Emily hasn't seen the funny side of it yet."

"She is just being a teenager she will grow out of it," Garcia said softly. "I hope you are right I am not sure Emily is going to be able to hold her temper much longer, she nearly got expelled on Thursday. And every time Emily tries to talk to her, they end up arguing" JJ said closing her eyes slightly.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

**Location: Rob's House.**

**Saturday Evening**

The bile rose in her throat. The cuffs were welded shut, permanently attached to her body. She worked her way to her knees, the only upright position afforded to her by the short chains binding her wrists and ankles to the wall behind her.

With strong but trembling hands, she gripped the chains and yanked in a wild attempt to pull them from the wall. However, she was rewarded, only by sore arms, and cut wrists. Unwilling to give up. She redoubled her efforts, straining until the pain in her wrists made her head swim. She leaned back against the wall to catch her breath and order her thoughts. Emily's head throbbed as sharp spikes of pain stabbed through her temple with each breath.

The bang of heavy footsteps on the stairs snapped her focus back to the present and she clenched her hands into fists. Feeble, cold light suddenly illuminated the room from a single bulb. Emily blinked at the abrupt change, squinting up at Rob.

"You could let me go and we can forget this?" Emily pleaded

She was shoved back to her knees and a hand pinched her nose, squeezing it viciously. She gasped for breath, mouth wide open as the metal O shape gag was placed between her upper and lower lips tying it behind her neck. Emily shivered as the fear and panic was building up in her chest.

"That will keep you quiet" I sneer at her locking it tightly in place. I drag her across the concrete floor. Smiling to myself as she tries to fight me more. Who would have thought watching this strong woman fight was such a turn on. I can see the fear in her eyes as I hoover above her, raking my fingers over her skin.

Her body trembles as I graze my fingers over her breasts watching her nipple become taut. I twist them slightly not too hard, that can wait for now, she is aroused I can tell her actions making me stiff. I pause slightly as she becomes limp under me. I slap her across her face to make her wake back up. Oh, I have power over this beauty. "I already told you, you are mine" I sneer at her finally answering the question.

Fingers caressed her in a mockery of tenderness, brushing across her nipples and down over her stomach again. Emily shuddered internally as he ran his finger along her jaw where her skin met the iron edge.

Sickeningly, Bright flashes appeared behind her eyelids as her pain and shame engulfed her consciousness. As she was dragged into another room and slammed against the wall, her hip and shoulder connecting with the cement block wall with bruising force. Her weak legs tried to buckle but she was hauled back to her feet.

Chains rattled against the wall and she felt a different pressure pulling at the back of her collar. Slowly, the pressure increased until her toes grazed the floor with just enough contact to keep her from strangling.

She breathed frantically through her nose as she fought to stay conscious despite the iron pressing against her windpipe. The thought of hanging to death before throwing the bastard in prison incited her and she resolved to make it through this. She could not wait to see the looks on their faces as Rob slammed the cell door shut.

The chain binding her wrists was short, pulling her arms uncomfortably behind her back, but hands forcing her elbows together made her teeth grit in pain. More chains bound them until they met and the bones ground together. Lips once again pressed to her ear and a hand balled into a fist with her breast pressed inside.

"See you later," Rob said sweetly "Then we'll see what I can do with you."

He released her flesh and she heard his footsteps recede. Once the door slammed and she heard the bolt slide home, she knew that she was alone. However, all thoughts of escape were pushed from her mind as she teetered on her toes, balance hindered by the painfully short chain linking her ankles. She refused to die this way.

Emily's entire body ached. Her shoulders strained as she tried to move her arms to relieve the pain radiating from her crushed elbows and swollen hands. She was on the verge of collapsing, her toes and calves struggling to relieve the choking pressure on her throat.

Her breath wheezed in her chest. She did not know how long she had been chained in this position. She did not know how much longer she could stand this torture.

The door at the top of the stairs banged open. Footsteps approached her and, suddenly, the chain holding her up was released. She collapsed, exhausted muscles refusing to support her any longer. Deep laughter filled her ears, echoing deafeningly in the dank basement.

"Thought I would check on you, and allow you to lie down for the evening" Rob smirked

A yank on her collar dragging her struggling form across the floor before he flung her onto the bed as she choked for breath Emily's teeth caught on the metal gag that ripped into her gums. Rob gripped her hair as he undid his pants thrusting into her mouth, after he had relieved himself he removed the gag.

"Sweet dreams" Rob smiled before leaving and locking the door behind him

She fought to steady her breathing as her tears fell; the panicked rasps of her breathing filled the dark, cold air. She curled into herself as best she could, pulling her chained feet up and trying to calm herself as she lay on the cot.

Her thoughts soon turned to JJ, Sarah and the team, her family. Tears sprung back to her eyes. Emily held JJ smiling face in her mind.

"I'm sorry JJ," Emily muttered as let the darkness take over

**Location: Rob's House.**

**Early Sunday Morning.**

Emily was brought out of her light painful sleep the moment she heard the scrape of the lock, and she tensed at the shudder of panic that grasped her chest.

Without a word, he gripped Emily's collar and heaved to her feet. He led her by her chain leash as quickly as her cuffed legs could hobble, chuckling at her ineffectual struggles.

With muscled ease, he shoved her through the doorway into a bleak room. A variety of vicious instruments and whips hung on hooks along one wall a round board with straps situated in five positions fastened to one wall.

Rob calmly shut the door firmly behind him before turning to face her. Rob lifted Emily on to the board strapping her arms and legs the fifth strap was fastened across her forehead.

"Prefect" he sneered as his eyes raked over her naked form "This Emily is for your pleasure"

Emily closed her eyes as she tried to control the panic that was coursing through her body. She flinched as she felt the whip slice her body.

"I am your owner you belong to me! Any questions?"

Emily stayed silent she wanted to scream to cry to shout but she had learnt listening to the tapes that if she did she would not last too long.

"Good now let me teach you" Rob sneered

More metal slipped over the backs of her knees and they were yanked further and further apart as the strain in her hips grew. He bolted them in place, leaving her painfully stretched and with her genitals humiliatingly exposed. She heard rather than saw him walk unhurriedly about the room, heard his steps stop before the rack of instruments.

An enormous gag against, her tightly closed lips. When she refused to yield, he pinched her nose closed until she was forced to take a breath. With one swift motion, he shoved the long gag between her lips. It pressed disgustingly against the back of her throat as she fought against her gag reflex.

The phallus stretched her jaw wide, causing the iron collar to cut into her skin. Straps wound around to the back of her head and she felt a lock click, fastening it too tightly into her mouth. She groaned, shame and desperation colouring her.

Emily tried to follow his movements but could only catch partial glimpses of him. Her ears, however, were unobstructed and an involuntary shudder ran through her body at the sharp crack that split the air. A second later, a cool breath of air tickled her skin just before she heard a second crack of the whip.

The pain followed, cutting through the delicate and sensitive flesh between her legs. She dug her teeth into the gag, struggling to reign in her scream of sudden pain.

A second stroke landed just to the side of the first Emily ground her teeth against the phallus, growling in pain. She tugged uselessly at the metal binding her as a rain of lashes welted her fragile flesh.

Soon, the metallic tang of warm blood filled the air and, with each whip stoke, red flecks spattered her legs and the floor. Screams formed high in her throat gradually grew to wails of agony ripped from deep in her chest. However, Rob ignored her as he whipped her again

Her vision began to blacken at the edges and she let her head loll, the coolness of the table almost a comfort to her. The pain between her legs began, not to fade, but to seem as if it was someone else's pain and she was only a silent observer.

Only as the door slammed shut once again did Emily's bruised mind realize that the whipping had stopped. Fingers tenderly caressed her shredded flesh, pinching and exploring her ruined folds. Emily could do little more than shudder in protest and disgust.

His hands left her body unable to turn away; she stared blurrily up at his smirking face through fluttering eyelids. He grinned widely as he saw that, even after her first lesson, she still had fire in her eyes. Slowly, he showed her the item he had concealed, dangling the roll of wide silvery tape from his finger.

With exaggerated gestures, he peeled the edge of the tape up and drew out a length. Almost lovingly, he pressed the extended tape over her eyes. He removed the gag once her eyes were covered. The blood dripped from her mouth.

"I will let you rest for a while I will be back after" with that Rob turned and walked out the room locking the door behind him as he left Emily hung to the wall the pain emanating through her body. "Save me JJ" Emily whispered as the sobs ripped from her lungs.

**JJ's Home.**

**Sunday Afternoon.**

"Emily it's me again, I know you are just ignoring me but I really want to make sure you're okay, if you don't want to talk that's fine just send me a message please I worried" JJ sighed softly, it wasn't like Emily to ignore her phone the panic was slowly raising in her chest as she rung Garcia.

"Hey my sexy kitten," she chuckled into the phone "JJ not Morgan," JJ half teased "Pen have you heard off her, I know you tell me not to worry but I am, she wouldn't ignore me, I even tried her work phone and got nothing." Garcia listened to her ramble slightly and even she was shocked that Emily was not answering her work cell.

"Kitten, I know she will kill us for this but let me trace her phone she may have lost it, we all know what her and phones are like. It is like trying to teach Rossi how to use a PDA pointless" JJ chuckled, out of all of them Emily had gone through five phone in the past few months if it was not when she tackled the unsub it was when Sarah had thrown it across the room. "Have you tried to get hold of Sarah?" Garcia asked "She went back to boarding school early Saturday morning" JJ sighed "Believe me I thought of ringing her house phone"

"That's odd both cells are near the bar?" Garcia said as a more a question to herself "What you mean bar?" JJ asked. "I mean our bar you know our hang out, she could have lost them because I think if I am seeing this right it's in the street." Garcia said slightly puzzled. "Garcia where is her car?" Garcia chuckled "Already on it" she mused "Garcia she is in the SUV not her own" JJ remembered. "Oh that's even easier" she smiled pulling up the information "Okay that's odd" JJ could hear the tapping on the laptop "I think my baby is broke because it is saying they are all in the same location" JJ frowned as a cold shiver ran through her body.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

**Location: BAU**

**Date and time: Unknown **

As the darkness engulfed Emily she stated to think of the past the first time she had meet JJ, unlike Hotch JJ had welcomed her gone through the policy and procedures and the way the BAU functioned as a team, there she sat in JJ office listening and taking notes on everything JJ was saying, she smiled shyly at her

"So that's everything regarding the team and how we work have you any questions Emily?" JJ asked softly. "Only one question" Emily smiled softly "Is there any coffee in this building?" With this JJ laughed "Yes I am so sorry I got carried away" JJ replied as a small blush rose across her cheeks "let's take a break" JJ smiled as she rose from the chair walking around to where Emily was.

A knock on the door interrupted her thoughts as a woman entered the room "I want details JJ who is she?" Garcia fired out before registering the other person in the room. JJ blushed deeply as she cleared her throat looking at Emily "Oh! I didn't know you had someone here" Garcia backtracked. Emily looked at her in strange way; the woman was smaller than Emily the pink and blonde hairs, made her double take surely she was not an agent! JJ saw the look on Emily's face as she giggled slightly as the two women eyed each other up.

"Garcia I would like you to meet Emily, Emily this is Garcia or as we call her the tech goddess and one of my best friends" JJ glared slightly at Garcia. Emily rose and offered her hand to shake "Nice to meet you" Emily smiled softly. Garcia took the offered hand and shook it still eyeing the woman up she looked to JJ and mouthed "Sorry." JJ rolled her eyes slightly, which did not go, unnoticed by Emily "We were just going to grab some coffee," JJ said to try to distract the two women.

Emily smiled at the memory she remembered being so enthralled by JJ she never had registered what Garcia had said until now.

**Location: Rob's House.**

**Early Monday Morning.**

Emily hung there her arms and legs still tied on the wood, the gag had been placed back in her mouth at some point during the night. She could taste the blood that had formed with each blow, I iron taste ripped through her like glass she prayed for release she prayed to be found but more than that, she prayed not to be another body upon a slab.

The air was thick with the smell of blood and not just her own she shivered unable to stop herself.

Emily thought to herself **'why do all killers have mommy or daddy issues?'** It was a silent question one that she knew could not be answered, not yet anyway. The only thing she heard was the turn of the key in the lock. Emily shivered internally as he entered the only thought going through her mind **'what was next!'**

He turn his face fully looking straight at her his eyes peering through her worse than glass more like a knife that has stopped half way to be turned to give that little more pain. "I trust you slept well," Rob slurred out; he had been up most of the night finishing the bottle of whiskey he had brought.

He stalked rather than walked towards her the evil glinting in his eye. She tried to swallow but the gag made it impossible, the blows came hard and fast without a second thought she knew it was not his fists, which he was using. Her body shuddered with the blows the blood oozing out of her like waves. Just as she was about to pass out from the pain and the blood forming in her mouth he ripped the gag out of her mouth.

Emily spluttered the blood spraying like a fountain across the room, coughing hard as her lungs burned through the lack or air that was now there, the only words she was able to mutter, "I'm sorry." He replaced the gag, her wounds still bleeding but not as much as before. Emily was no longer sure how long she had been there but it felt like days her body beaten beyond recognition her heart pounding as the blows came more often but after the second attack, he would remove the gag so she could cough the blood out.

He never spoke this time, not a word not a glimmer of resentment or apology from him, no names, just the blows they came hard and fast harder than before, she thought to herself, either that or her body was betraying her and giving up, as she blacked out from the pain. The blackness lifted she struggled to focus on anything other than her body pounding in pain. The blood had now dried leaving a sticky texture on her skin but through the pain and throbbing, she could no longer feel. The word coursed through her veins.

"You had made such a mess!" He spat out at her

She next heard a sharp crack split the icy air. She gulped for air, as a shiver of fear made her body freeze up. She felt the pain before she heard the second crack. The whip slashed across her right breast as she bit her tongue, trying to hold in the scream beginning to build in her chest. The whip fell again, cracking against her broken cheekbone as she whimpered in pain, gasping for breath through the gag.

Emily groaned into the gag as she felt something cold press against her anus and then her vaginal opening. The plugs were shoved into her body so quickly that she registered the pain only after the chastity belt had been buckled and locked around her body. The straps bit into her skin, digging deeply into her soft, slim waist. She could not control her shivering as she hung helpless, bound, gagged, and raped.

She prayed for death, for anything really, she was dirty and horrible damaged goods in her mind, the silence fell upon her like a knife. She prayed to a God she had longed forgotten that she would be found in time. Rob turned and looked at her "I thought you would last longer than the others" Rob sneered.

Emily's mind froze as she fully registered what he had said. He smiled sweetly at Emily even though she could not see him "Time for your bath my love" his attitude changes so fast it had Emily's mind spinning one second he was nasty the next he sounded almost lovingly towards her. Rob removed her binding and let her fall onto the hard cold concrete. Emily shuddered as she hit the floor hard, she wanted to run scream anything to get away from this crazed man. Her mind slowly began to fail her, the pain overwhelming her senses and the lack of food and water did not help.

Rob attached the lead to her collar and before Emily had even registered the lead, he yanked hard against her raw neck. "Come on you need to be cleaned" Rob sneered as he half dragged her body as Emily tried to crawl the pain was becoming a dull ache the belt rubbed against her skin and the metal clunked on the floor. Maybe it was a blessing she could not see anything!

Rob slammed the door behind them causing Emily to jump slightly he half dragged her into the other room before lifting her into the ice cold bath, only this time he never tied her to the bath a soft cushion laid beneath her head. Her body finally registered the pain the coldness as a lightly violent shiver coursed through her body. The pain made Emily come too slightly even though she wished she had not as she felt him scrubbing her bruised and battered body.

A sobbed ripped through her chest her only hope was that her team would find her! The electricity ran through her body causing her to pass out with the pain. "I will let you rest in here for a while," Rob said as he chuckled aloud before leaving her alone in the ice bath.

**Location: Street Near The Bar.**

**Sunday Night**

JJ and Garcia went to check out her car "Maybe it's just broken down" Garcia mused as JJ gave her a pointed look "And what she just left both of her phones in the car? Garcia are you fully awake" as she shakes her head "We are walking around the street in the dark so forgive me for wanting to think silly happy thoughts" Garcia shot back "Sorry" JJ said as they reached her car. JJ peered through the glass, as a wave of nausea ran through her body. "Ring Hotch" she gasped noticing her badge and gun laying in the centre console.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

**Crazy Heart you always make me smile….Thank you :o)… I am hoping I am making this work this time around... if not please feel free to pull me up on where I have gone wrong…**

**Location: BAU**

**Early Hours Monday Morning**

JJ watched the clock ticking waiting for the rest of the team to arrive. Morgan handed Garcia her coffee "Do you know what's going on between them baby girl?" Morgan enquired. Before heading up to the conference room. They had not fully informed the team what was going on. Hotch JJ and Garcia knew but Hotch had felt it better to say while they were all with him. However, he also wanted to make sure no one had seen her before saying anything.

"Have any of you seen, heard or spoken to Emily since she left here Friday?" JJ sunk in to the chair shaking her head as Morgan, Reid and Rossi answered at the same time "No?" Rossi looked at Hotch as his spoke "JJ and Garcia found her car has been found near the Roman's Pub late last night" Morgan look at JJ and Garcia, "You're sure its hers?" his eyes pleaded they had made a mistake. "It's one of our SUV's that she normally takes, her badge, gun and both cell phone where left in it" JJ said before standing on shaky legs only just making it to the bin as she heaved the bile burning her throat.

Garcia walked over and rubbed her back as JJ brushed her away. "We need to find her Hotch," JJ said looking at him. She had, had a sick feeling all weekend she had known something was not right early Saturday morning. "Has anyone tried getting hold of Sarah?" Morgan asked, "She went back to school early Saturday" Garcia said as JJ tried to compose herself again.

"We have spoken to the bar manager who reported her car after he spotted it the last two nights then reporting it, he said she left with a gentlemen looking slightly worse for wear" Hotch answered honestly. Garcia frowned as she spoke "Emily with a man? He is sure it was Emily?" Garcia rolled her eyes "Hotch she would never leave with a man ever" JJ said bluntly.

Garcia I want you to look though the security footage and the street cameras at least we can get an idea of where she went. "You sure she didn't just go to a motel?" JJ frowned at Morgan "Emily a motel on her free will. Are you sure you're Morgan!" Morgan closed his eyes "JJ, I didn't mean it like that" "And check her credit cards" Hotch said giving a pointed look at JJ and Morgan.

**Location: BAU Garcia's office**

**Date and time: Unknown**

Emily slumped her body into the chair as she groaned inwardly "Garcia I cannot tell her last thing I want is to lose her as a friend," Emily argued, "What is it with you profilers? Can you not see the way she is with you the looks you each give each other and god help anyone who upsets either of you" Garcia argued her point "God Emily your so stubborn you love her what's the problem?" Emily's mouth opened to dispute what Garcia was saying but for the first time in her life she was failed for words "She's my friend Garcia and yes I love her," Emily sighed as she rested her head in her hands.

"So tell her or drive yourself insane questioning if she feels the same" Garcia would never break their confidences they had in her but Garcia was close to banging their heads together "You all over think things just ask her, or I will" Emily looked at her dumbfounded for a moment before finding her voice "I would, if I could get her alone and the time was right, but I am so worried that things could turn south and she'd hate me."

Garcia smiled softly and shook her head "I have known JJ a long time Em and I have never heard her hate anyone aside from Strauss have you?" "No but Strauss doesn't have sexual feelings for her!" Emily pointed out causing Garcia to slap Emily at the back of the head just as JJ walked in "Garcia? What did Emily do to you?" JJ asked in the warning tone as she rested her hand on Emily shoulder. Garcia raised her eyebrow at Emily. "Being stubborn as usual" she smirked.

Emily sobbed as the memories played in her mind as her body shook with each jolt of electricity. "JJ" she whispered as the darkness began to take over again.

**Location: Rob's House**

**Late Monday Afternoon**

"There all nice and clean" Rob said softly "Now time for your reward" He switched off the electric current that was attached to the bath as he leaned his body over and picked Emily up carrying her back into the cell which she had slept in, slowly he placed the gag back in her mouth as he rested her against the wall. "I have a lovely treat for you" Rob said the malice portraying in his voice.

Emily flinched as she started to come around, she could hear his voice, and was relieved to not feel the shocks that had been running through her body, she was cold and tired, her body beginning to shut down to the pain that radiated though it. She struggled to breathe as the metal dug into her gums, tasting the blood running down her throat she heaved slightly at the taste, praying for her body to pass out so she could not feel or hear anything.

Emily was glad she could not see but she heard everything its true what they say take one sense away and the rest take over more. She heard his flies unzip, she braced her body, as she knew what he was going to do again, as he thrust himself inside her hard and fast until, she gaged as her body fell limply against the mattress of the cot. As he removed the gag, he asked a question that made Emily freeze up completely "Who is JJ? And what is he to you!" Rob demanded.

Emily's body relaxed slightly as she didn't respond to his question Emily heard and felt the whip slice her body again making the welts rise angrily on her skin, but still she refused to speak. Rob started to ramble as he whipped Emily's bruised body the blood running down her skin "I have practiced on 25 people and yet you refuse to answer me" He hissed in an angry voice, Emily flinched as her mind registered the number he had said, and the case they were all meant to look at on Monday. Another tear seeped through the tape as he thrashed her body harder.

**Location: BAU**

**Monday Late Morning**

Garcia had spent the past few hours going through the footage only catching sight of Emily and the arm of someone wrapped around her waist, whoever it was had kept themselves out of site. This also meant he knew where the cameras were and how to avoid them. JJ sat watching the screen over her shoulder. "How would someone know how to do that?" JJ asked softly. "One of three ways really, work on security, hack the system, or know the passcodes" Garcia gave a weak smile as she turned to look at her "JJ we will find her" the tears ran down her face as she tried to speak "I can't lose her Pen" Garcia wrapped her arms around her, just as Morgan walked in.

Garcia looked at him as she shook her head, "JJ come on let's go and do some canvassing? I can't just sit around here" he said wrapping his arms around her, like JJ he loved Emily, she was his best friend and partner, he had spent the past hours going through Emily's home and as much as he hated doing it, he knew Emily would kick his ass if he allowed anyone else to do it.

**BAU**

**Early Monday Afternoon.**

JJ and Morgan had returned after following a few leads and coming up empty, her credit card hadn't been used since the last case, which even Morgan laughed at "I still can't believe she went to a sex shop before we headed back" he chuckled he was trying his best to make JJ laugh or just give her some comfort. The whole team knew how she felt about Emily and Morgan had listened enough to Emily on her feelings, sometimes her mused that she really was a man the way her eyes tracked her, which earned him a slap of a few occasions.

Garcia had spent the afternoon back-hacking the servers after finding a worm in the surveillance system, JJ was again stood over her shoulder, the sickening feeling growing more and more with every keystroke that Garcia did. "Yes I'm in" she mused as the grainy picture filled her screen "OH MY GOD," she screamed, as one of the cameras was fixated on Emily. "Turn round you sick son of a bitch" JJ cursed "I can't watch it" Garcia said in a sob, as JJ managed to reach the trashcan vomiting violently into it "Hotch can you come here" Garcia wept into her phone.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

**Right let me clear something's up before anyone else gets confused ;o)… ****The reason he says "HE" is because JJ can be a boy's name...If you remember in an episode only friends, local law enforcement and victims called her JJ those who she didn't fully like or trust called her Jennifer and since he flirted with Emily she doesn't like him...Method in the madness also remember he doesn't know they are FBI and he only really plays pool with Morgan so any interaction with the whole team is only when Emily is there...And also he has never heard them call her JJ….Hope that clears it up… **

**Location: ****BAU**

**Early Monday Evening.**

"No I can't watch this," Garcia said as Morgan wrapped his arms around her. JJ vomited again into the trashcan as they all watched Emily get beaten and raped. They were begging him to show his face as Garcia set back down to run his IP address. "That sick son of a bitch" Morgan blazed, Hotch and Rossi both kept their thoughts to themselves; Reid had walked out not being able to watch the screen.

JJ trying to compose herself as she finally managed to speak "We need to find her Hotch we need to. MY GOD" she gasped as they watched Emily get slammed up against the wall exposing her fully "Garcia" Hotch said softly hoping she was getting somewhere. "He's bouncing it all over Hotch I'm trying" she tried to keep her eyes on the screen as Rossi spoke "Is she breathing?" they all froze staring at her. They were not able to see her eyes due to the tape that lay across them.

**Location: ****Rob's house (What the BAU See)**

**Early Monday Evening**

"I asked" **crack** "you a" **crack** "question" **crack** "who" **crack** "is JJ"** crack** "answer me" **crack** "or I will" **crack** "find him myself" **crack.** Rob shouted between each whip he brought down on her body. Her head lulled against the wall with each stroke of the whip, her body still trembled as the nauseous grew in her stomach.

I see her body tremble as my whip lands on her skin the beautiful patterns that are forming again, I had practiced enough and I have learnt how to cause the most pain without even breaking the skin, the crisscross that lines her front and chest are beautiful works of art even if it is only me that can see it right now. I watch her as her head bangs against the wall. I know she cannot answer me but still I want answers. I have never seen her with a man before her friends but none of them are called JJ?

What does amaze me though is even when she whimpers they are not that loud; who knew one person could be so stubborn. I mean the only real words I have heard are from when she is alone and she asks, for this JJ to save her or she says sorry to JJ. Sick really. With each stroke though I can feel the excitement grow inside me, I can tell she wants and I can see the want in her body as she slumps to the bed. I slowly unzip my pants as I stroke myself as I walk over to her, her breathe feels warm against me as I enter her thrusting inside her. It fits so perfectly in her mouth, I can feel her tongue against me bringing be closer to my release. "Good girl" I say pulling myself away from inside her. "You rest I will be back later" I smirk ripping the gag from her mouth. I can hear her soft moan as I make my way back out the room.

Her eyes started to roll to the back of her head as he removed the gag, the air burned her lungs causing her to take shallow breathes she heaved weakly causing vomit seeped it way up into her throat and trickle out of her mouth. "I'm sorry JJ," Emily whispered as she drifted off into the bliss of darkness.

**Location: ****BAU**

**Monday Evening.**

"Come on Garcia" JJ whispered to herself, she breathed a sigh of relief as he left her alone, though it was now of little comfort to them, the images and sounds burned into their minds. Emily's voice made JJ freeze "Em don't you dare give up" she almost shouted looking at the screen. They had all heard what Emily whispered as they had heard every word, which was spoken. "Garcia," Hotch said more than a question as she clicked the other cameras in the house "Isn't that" Garcia paused "Oh my god" JJ stuttered out as Rob is smiling face filled the screens.

"You know him?" Rossi asked slightly confused "No! He flirts with Emily and plays pool with Morgan but other than that," JJ said as she leaned against the wall. Garcia was already running his name through DMV and the facial recognizing soft wear.

"I GOT IT" Garcia scream five minutes later printing off the address handing it straight to Hotch. "Let's go, JJ" she glared at him "I am coming with you" her voice eerie on dangerous as he nodded "Go with Morgan and Reid" she nodded as they made their way to the cars.

Garcia watched in horror, she wished she could turn away but part of her could not take her eyes off Emily "You hang in there; we are coming to get you princess"

**Location: ****Rob's House**

**Monday Evening.**

Her mind registered a slight sound from outside and she flinched in fear **'did he have friends?' **she could hear rustling and the soft foot falls, her mind unable to tell what was being said all she could work out that they was a few. The panic and fear coursed through her like a tidal wave. Her body flinched move, as the door was swung open. "Who is JJ" his voice full of malice as he shouted at her. She was too weak now to even do anything, aside from lay there and wait for him to do as he felt. Part of her wanted her body to give up and let death take her, but her mind thought for her daughter and for the one person she wished she told she loved **'too late now'** she thought to herself thinking she would never see her family again.

His body pressed against her as he roughly gripped her breast. "Answer me" Emily was glad for the tape as another tear seeped through the tape.

**Location: Rob's House Outside**

**Monday Evening.**

Hotch listen for a moment he eyes saddened as he could only picture what was happening below where they stood. "We go in slow and steady and quietly we don't want him spooked," Hotch whispered to them "Morgan Reid go in through the back Rossi JJ your with me"

Morgan and Reid walked to the back of the house as he felt his phone vibrate quickly he looked at the message which made him stop in his tracks as Reid walked into the back of him, Morgan snarled at Reid "Remind me to put a bullet between his eyes" the anger in Morgan's voice made Reid flinch as the slowly reached the back door.

Reid picked the lock and slowly opened the door as they crept into the kitchen area guns drawn they cleared each room meeting Hotch Rossi and JJ in the hallway they looked at the door at lead down into the basement. Slowly Morgan opened the door before they started quietly down the stairs Hotch signalled for Rossi and JJ to stay upstairs. JJ glared at Hotch for a moment before she half nodded his request. **'Medics won't be that far behind you, bring my girl home'** Rossi nodded at the message. He just hoped they were in time.

JJ gripped hold of Rossi to steady herself upon hearing him shout her name she slowly regain her balance as she looked at Rossi as she started to edge towards the stairs wanting so much to blow his brains out.

"I won't ask you again" Rob bellowed as he reached for the chain wrapping it around his fist, as he stalked towards Emily ready to hit her with the chain his head snapped around as he heard a voice he knew shout.

"FBI step away from her" Morgan yelled the barrel of his gun aimed right at his head. Rob stumbled slightly as he looked at Derek "You….your…she's?" Slowly as the pieces came together, he found his footing turning towards Morgan. His gun still aimed at his head Morgan almost begged him to try something so he could shoot him. Rob turned back and looked at Emily's lifeless form before turning to charge at Morgan **'BANG'** the sound rung around the room as Rob's lifeless body fell to the floor.

JJ appeared behind Hotch leaning against the doorframe "Oh my god" the words fell so softly from her lips as she looked upon her friend's naked bloody body. "Blanket I need a blanket" JJ stuttered as she moved slowly over to Emily "Em can you hear me" JJ spoke softly, Emily's body flinched weakly at the sound of different voices her mind could not recognise them. JJ ran her fingers gently through Emily's hair speaking softly "Em your safe." still not fully hearing what was being said the words fell from her lips so softly so quite that the team only just heard her "forgive me Jennifer"

Morgan called for the medics, which were waiting with Rossi upstairs before coming down into the basement as they entered you could hear them gasp in shock at what laid before them. "Ma'am can we have some room please" He said softly to the small blonde at the side of their patience. JJ nodded numbly as she watched her friend flinch from the unwanted touches upon her skin.

JJ spoke in such an angry voice even Hotch had to look twice "Get off her, can you not see she is terrified!" The medics looked at her as to dismiss her completely "With all due respect Ma'am" Hotch quickly stepped in before his highly emotional agent did something she would regret "Let JJ do this, Emily has been through enough I am sure you can talk her through it or at least allow her near my agent" Hotch's voice was dangerous and bore no room for disagreement. "Very well, just try and keep her calm please" Emily never made a sound as her body flinched and shivered as the medics touched her body she couldn't tell if they were kind or nasty each touch was like a knife against her body.

As the voices became clearer she heard one she knew which sent a wave of panic through her body "JJ No Run" Emily's voice hoarse and clear as she fumbled the words off her lips. "Shh you're safe Em," JJ said softly as she gently ran her hands through her hair. As the medics removed the blanket JJ had place over her body JJ finally registered what was around her waist as the bile rose in her throat the words stumbled out of her mouth "that…take…that...off…her" Morgan Hotch and Rossi all caught sight of what JJ was referring to, Reid walked out the room as he vomited in the other room as he looked around the team heard as Reid's words fell from his mouth "Holy mother of god!"

"Ma'am" The medic looked at her sadly "I can't just in case there is damage we can't see" JJ closed her eyes as a tear rolled down her cheek "Ma'am" JJ interrupted him "Call me JJ please" The medic smiled sadly at the agent "We need to get this lady to the hospital" JJ looked at Hotch with the fire in her eyes that brooked no argument Hotch was willing to debate "I am going with her" With that the medics and JJ left.

**Location: Sentara Potomac Hospital**

**Late Monday Evening.**

Garcia burst through the doors in the waiting room "Any news" Garcia asked JJ as she rushed to her sitting down beside her as JJ shook her head in response "JJ she's made it this far after everything he put her through" She blurted out as JJ stared blankly at her, JJ shook her head slightly as she broke down in Garcia's arms.

JJ sat there in shock the words haunting her as she heard them play over in her mind she "forgive me Jennifer" played repeatedly in her mind. She sat for a long time staring at the floor Garcia had gone to get them both a coffee, the tears rolled down her face. The movement made JJ jump and reach for her gun "JJ it's me" Morgan said softly "It's just me" "Sorry I" Morgan half smiled "I know JJ" They all wore the same look on their faces, of worry and torment knowing what she had gone through.

Garcia had managed to get on to his hard drive before the team had gotten to Emily; each file was a name and a video, which had been recorded of him doing things to them.

"Is there any news?" Rossi asked in an attempt to break the silence that had surrounded them "She's still in surgery" a warm arm wrapped around her which she gladly leaned into as the tear overwhelmed her again "I've got you JJ" Garcia said softly as she repeated the same motion she had just the other night

A man appeared in the door way for the waiting area clearing his throat to get someone attention even he could tell these people were upset by the state the young woman was in "Is there a family member I could speak to please?" the surgeon asked the group of people in front of him. Rossi smiled as he looked at JJ "Jennifer is her next of kin" this in turn caused everyone in the room to look at him as though he was insane "Rossi" Hotch warned "Here is the paperwork to prove it" Rossi smirked as he handed the surgeon the papers before letting Hotch see them, JJ froze up slightly before speaking "You can say it in front of us all we are family" She looked sadly at him.

"Right well I would like to start with the good news" He smiled softly at the people in front of him "Emily made it out of surgery it was touch and go for a while and her body is very weak, we have had to pin her jaw as it had been badly broken she has seven broken ribs which will take some time to heal, the bruising is serve, we managed to remove the metal that covered her neck wrists and ankles" he fell slightly over his words as he spoke "Ma'am can I speak to you in private please?" JJ looked at him for a moment before she nodded; she stood on shaky legs as she followed him into the hallway.

"What aren't you telling us?" JJ asked, "When we removed the belt there were substantial injuries to her lower extremities, she will need to have reconstructive surgery at a later date, she also shows signs of electric shock so we don't know yet how much damage has really been caused. But for now the best we can do is make her comfortable" JJ nodded as she took the information in "May I see her?" JJ asked softly. He smiled softly at her "Yes if you'd like to follow me, there are a lot of wires and machines helping her right now but she can hear you, Your friends are welcome to visit her as well she is in a private room" JJ smiled sadly as she opened the door to the waiting room "We can go and see her" JJ said softly.

The team followed the man down the long corridor before stopping outside the room "Two at a time only please, and my name is Doctor Grant" JJ rested her hand on the door as she slowly pushed it open, the machines beeped steady in the white sterile room. making her way towards the bed JJ stumbled slightly Hotch gently steadied her as he followed behind her "Emily" were the only words that JJ could form as she sat in the chair next to her bed her hand reaching softly towards her fingers "Your safe now Em."

Hotch stood at the foot of the bed looking sadly "JJ I will see if you can stay here with her, She shouldn't be alone" Was all Hotch said before he left the room sending the rest in one at a time. As Hotch watched for a few moments before finding Doctor Grant, after explaining everything and even using Emily's mothers status to the best of his advantage he had agreed and arranged for a second bed to be brought into the room, JJ lifted her head slightly hearing the doors open again seeing two porters bringing in another bed and more blankets "Thank you" JJ said softly as they were leaving, "JJ get some rest we will just be outside if you need anything" Hotch looked at her and smiled she could see four figures lining the glass windows, JJ nodded her eyes not fully leaving Emily "I will Hotch" JJ replied sadly as she kept watched over her fallen friend. "Stay with me Emily," JJ whispered taking hold of her hand.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

**Location: Sentara Potomac Hospital**

**Early Tuesday Morning.**

Hotch stood in the corridor nodding Rossi over." Is everything alright?" He asked "She is coping she won't say why they need to operate again though" Hotch replied "She'll be fine she's strong and JJ well we both know she won't let anything happen to her that doesn't need to happen" Rossi assured Hotch "We don't know the full extent of her brain injury though" Hotch said softly as he looked through the window.

JJ laid on the bed next to Emily she had slept peacefully, JJ smiled as the machines beeped in a steady rhythm. Her eyes fixated on the rise and fall of her chest, which brought her comfort; gently she ran her fingers through her hair as she began to speak. "The doctor says you can hear me and I hope you can Emily, I miss you, I need you to hang on if not for me but for Sarah. She needs her mom no matter what trouble she gets into" JJ kept her voice soft holding in the tears that wanted so badly to fall.

"I remember the first day I met you Em, Your smile lit up the dank work we do, and I was that caught up in you that I even forgot to offer you a coffee until you asked if the building had any." JJ sighed softly as a voice broke her thoughts "She loves you JJ," Garcia said as she closed the door softly behind her. JJ looked at her friend slightly and frown "I wish that was true Pen but she has no idea I feel the same" JJ's eyes drifted sadly back to watch Emily's chest rise and fall.

"She told me" Garcia said softly as she walked slowly over towards the bed "Your both just too damn stubborn to tell each other" She smiled softly at them both "She will wake up Jayj just give her time" JJ nodded as the tears started to roll down her cheek "Thank you" Was all she managed to say "If you need anything I will just be outside" Garcia said as she started towards the doors.

JJ smiled at her friend before looking up and watching Garcia leave "A bowl of water and a sponge?" JJ asked softly, Garcia turned and nodded softly "I'll go and get you something" With that JJ was again left alone with her thoughts she smiled as she thought about what she had just been told "Is that true Em?" She asked knowing she would get no reply, not yet anyway.

Garcia returned ten minutes later wheeling a small metal trolley in "I have basin with warm water sponge and a soft towel" Garcia smiled softly as she wheeled it towards the bed "The nurse says to be careful around the wires and her jaw" Garcia paused "What else?" JJ enquired noticing the worried look on her friends face "They said her skin is extremely raw and tender so be gentle" She frowned slightly as she spoke JJ just nodded "I know" JJ shook her head slightly the one sign, that she wanted to be alone. "Morgan has gone to get your go bag from your house I gave him your key" Garcia said softly before leaving the room "Thank you" She said softly as she watched her leave, leaving her alone with Emily.

Pulling the trolley closer towards the bed "You'll feel better without all this blood and dirt on you", JJ said softly as she started to gently dab her skin, the surgeons had done a marvellous job but one thing they never seemed to do was clean the blood away. That bastard had done so many different things to her, which she doubted Emily's mind would be able to tell the difference between a friendly touch and the beginnings of an attack.

"Emily, you have to hold on for me," she whispered, slowly moving down Emily's body, unable to keep the tears back as she saw more of the brutal injuries marring her friend's arms and hands "You hang in there Emily" JJ said as she half sobbed the words out "I love you" for the first time in 3 years JJ had finally admitted that she was in love with this woman. A low giggle pulled her from her task and thoughts as her face snapped up and glared at the man in the doorway "It takes her being fully unconscious for you to finally tell her JJ" Morgan smiled softly as he walked in with her go-bag "That's just wrong" His smile was kind and warm and she knew deep down that he was sincere "Never had the nerve before" JJ half chuckled as she spoke, JJ knew he was right in what he was saying.

JJ sat back down on the bed moving closer so she was able to play with Emily's hair. It had become habit and a slight reassurance that she was actually there with her and it was not a dream. "We haven't let Sarah know yet, I can't bring myself to do it Emily I just" the voice broke her out of her trail of thought she knew Hotch or Rossi had more than likely informed her but right now JJ could only see Emily and no one else. "We are going to grab something to eat I think you should go too I'll stay here with her" he smiled softly praying that JJ would for once allow someone close enough to help.

"I can't what if she wakes up?" she argued, shaking his head slightly "JJ she is unconscious and recovering for surgery I doubt she is going to wake up in the next hour please before Garcia takes her worry and anger out on me" JJ could just imagine Garcia shouting at Morgan for no reason and after watching what they all saw on that screen it was imbedded in their minds and really she couldn't blame her "Can you just bring me a sandwich please?" Morgan nodded knowing that once she had made her mind there was no way in hell anyone was going to change it "I'll grab you some coffee as well" Morgan smiled as he left the room.

"I doubt she is going to leave her side anytime soon" He said softly to the team "Would you?" Rossi asked with a bemused look on his face "I guess not". Rossi Morgan and Reid walked down the long corridor as they had all thought it would be better to get the food and drink for the coffee shop across the road. "How long do you think till she is awake" Reid asked quietly, his mind could rhyme off the facts and statistics but this was his friend and he just couldn't think like that now he was numb and scared, they all were. Morgan and Rossi only just heard him. "Right now the best thing is for her to sleep and rest," Rossi replied sadly.

"We will all need to show her support and understanding" they all knew they were in for a long road ahead and they all knew JJ was not going to leave her side. "Hotch wants us all to go back to the BAU after, Garcia found all the recordings and he wants us to go through them" Rossi said softly "What about JJ?" Morgan asked, "I think she is best staying here with Emily don't you?" Morgan nodded "She is going to want to see it, you do know that right?" Morgan warned. "I know and I will bring the laptop and then if she feels she can and wants to it will be there for her to do so" he gave a weak smile.

**Location: BAU**

**Early Afternoon.**

Hotch closed the blinds in the conference room as the rest of the team sat down, for the first time ever he locked the doors so no one could disturb them. Hotch had asked Garcia to switch the camera off in the room, and to also upload all the files on to a laptop for JJ just in case she wanted to see. Though he knew she might not but this was part of the job they had to do and Hotch would not allow anyone other than his team see Emily like that.

Hotch, Rossi Reid and Morgan all sat around the table as Hotch warned them all to brace themselves as what they were going to see wasn't going to be pleasant viewing. They spent the rest of the afternoon going through the tapes before finally watching Emily's; they all sat there in shock. Reid was the first to stand rushing towards the bin as he vomited violently. "That bastard" Rossi growled. Morgan had tears rolling down his cheeks as he shook his head "I need to get out of here" Morgan said sadly as he rose to leave "Morgan where are you going?" Hotch asked calmly "The hospital" Was all Morgan said as the rest of the team followed him out of the room with blank sad expressions on their faces.

**Location: Sentara Potomac Hospital**

**Late Afternoon**

Emily had been back in the room for over two hours the doctor had informed JJ that they had stop the sedatives and that Emily should wake up in her own time and now it was just a matter of waiting. JJ had managed to settle again once Emily had come back as she lay next to her playing with her hair and her other hand keeping hold of her fingers as she drifted off slightly.

**Evening**.

Her mind was blank she couldn't feel she was confused she wanted to open her eyes but her body failed her again she had succumbed to the darkness she wanted to scream, cry for help but still nothing she could feel the soft touch on her head, hear the soft voice, was she dreaming was it real or was she dead. The thoughts ran through her mind. The fear, the pain she remembered but now she was numb blank. She felt movement and a voice she did not recognise, she wanted to tense to run but all she could do was lay there in silence.

The eternal dream, the nightmare that never seems to end, she was trapped no one was coming no one knew where she was, she was going to die here in this hell hole alone, away for her friends, her family she knew somewhere deep down this was it this was the end, it was what her life had become, alone in the darkness.

Her eyes twitched as she continued to sleep, was she asleep? Was this all just one big nightmare? She felt something playing with her hair. She was not safe, she was going to be beaten and hurt again! Her mind played tricks on her, she waited for the blows waited for death to take her, yet nothing came, she felt numb, her body sore yet not defining to where the pain was. Was this hell?

The smell and taste of blood had worn off from her senses instead she could smell a light scent that even through everything she knew that smell, Was she really here was her mind playing tricks had she been taken as well, "Run! Please! get out of here" She tried to call out, she felt her voice fail her the words never leaving her lips, She felt a grip on her hand tighten but not too tight as though it was reassuring her she started to hear the voice, a voice she never thought she'd hear again "your safe Em, come back to me" JJ spoke softly unsure if Emily could hear her "I need you" That plea, it wasn't an order it was a plea a request.

She tried to open her eyes she tried to speak, not sure if she could be heard her voice sore and raspy "I'm sorry" She muttered hoping to be heard not sure if her mind was playing more tricks on her.

Emily's mind played tricks as the darkness over took her back into the hell hole that she had somehow become use to, she waited for the blows for the pain but still nothing came, she felt something on her hand it was soft and warm she knew that scent that touch that feeling but could she trust her mind, her feelings? The darkness began to subside as she began to wake. Her eyes fluttered and her muscles twitched, her hand flinched away from the hold as she began to panic she wanted to run she could no longer feel her bindings that held her in that cruel grasp,

JJ looked softly at Emily as she felt her pull away, she saw the wild frighten look in her eyes it broke JJ's heart to see her like this "Hey it's okay Em your safe!" She tried to reassure her.

Emily looked blankly at her she knew that voice, but she did not trust her mind she couldn't. She flinched again only this time she hit the bars on the bed, she began to panic more she was trapped, everything she could see and feel was just her mind playing tricks on her.

"Look at me!" JJ said it was more of a demand than her asking, she turned her head slowly to the voice she knew, those words she had said them before. However, was this just her mind playing tricks on her, she heard the words again "Emily look at me" Her voice conveyed worry this time.

She turned to see if what she heard was real or her mind playing tricks, her eyes locking into focus as they met blue orbs, she knew them eyes that soft look, she felt safe for the first time since she was taken "Forgive me?" Emily said as she looked into them blue eyes JJ shook her head slightly "Shh! your safe Em" Was all she could reply she had nothing to forgive. JJ looked into the brown chocolate eyes that she loved but now she saw pain and fear. Emily's eyes closed as sleep tried to take over "Rest Em I'll be here when you wake" JJ said as she saw Emily's eyes closed fighting the sleep that she so badly needed. She began to drift the words leaving her lips just as sleep began to take her "Love you jay"

JJ sat looking at her for a moment did she mean that? She was asleep she could not have meant it. JJ took hold of her hand again settling back down on to the bed, to watch over her, she spoke to her knowing Emily couldn't hear her "I love you too Em"

**Location: Sentara Potomac Hospital**

**Early Hours Wednesday Morning.**

Being a prisoner to your dreams and to your mind can be worse than the real thing, it never stops in your dreams there are no breaks it just keep repeating over and over again until your body finally allows you to wake. You can feel it repeatedly sometimes you can even taste it! And this was where Emily was at, the never-ending dream it feels so real. **"Save me JJ! Please!"** Emily begged in her sleep

The noise and words ripped JJ from her sleep, more like someone slapping you very hard when you had no clue it was coming. She took hold her hand as she leaned over the bed brushing the hair away from Emily's eyes.

She spoke softly and calm even though she did not feel it watching someone you love care and for. Be tormented and hurt even in their sleep is heart breaking. "Hey Em your safe, I've got you!" JJ said softly as Emily flinched against her touch. "I'm right here Em, Please wake up!" It was more than a prayer. JJ begged as she carried on running her fingers gently through her hair.

The noise made Morgan jump as he move to the doorway; he opened the door slowly looking at them both. Watching your partner go through hell was not something you could ever forget and seeing his partner like this broke his heart. "JJ is everything okay?" Morgan asked keeping his voice low.

JJ's eyes met his, her eyes blood shocked "I think she is having a nightmare" she spoke softly as hand fingers continued to run through her hair, her eyes drifted back to Emily. Morgan walked slowly over to JJ "She will wake up again, JJ" Morgan assured her "I know" Her eyes never shifting off Emily as she replied.

The silence fell on the empty room even the machines had become like a humming sound that blended into the lull of the room. Emily finally calmed down back into a somewhat peaceful sleep. Finally, JJ allowed sleep to wash over her again.

**Location: Sentara Potomac Hospital**

**Late Morning**

Emily awoke slowly, pulling herself out of a nightmare of darkness and agony, she felt pinned by a weight across her waist. The terror threatened to drown her, slowly she opened her eyes sighing softly as the tape was finally gone. Her instincts making her wary. Which she was glad of her caution moments later when the dim lights seemed to blind her. She closed her eyes before she tried to open them again. Once again, she was forced to close her eyes again, and this time she used the time to think. She knew that her kidnap and torture had happened. That much was burned into her memory, but there was something else that she could not be sure was reality, she hoped it was. With that terrifying thought at the fore of her mind, she opened her eyes, and this time she was able to keep them open, though she had to blink hard a few times. Her view was hazy, but did not eliminate nor did it prove she was free.

Blinking slowly, she turned her head, her eyes, barely able to make out the shape of a woman's face. As she adjusted to the dim light, she was able to differentiate between tanned golden skin and strands of blonde hair. Her eyes widened as her brain made the leap to who the owner of that face was. She glanced down, assuring herself that the warm, living weight around her waist was an arm, but then the panic returned. All she knew so far was that Jennifer Jareau was lying next to her. In addition, that did not mean either of them were safe, despite the lack of restraints and the relative comfort of the bed she was on. Fear cleared some of the fog, and the adrenaline rush gave her the strength to shift slightly, ignoring how much moving hurt.

"Mmm…Emily"

The sound of her name got her to turn back to JJ, but the woman was apparently still asleep. If she had woken up to find that JJ was being tortured as she had been, she thought she would have shattered, but her mind clung to the very real weight and warmth of her friend. As long as JJ was safe, she could hold on.

She felt her whole body tense as she remembered terror, but she again distracted as JJ stirred, lifting her head up tiredly., JJ froze as she realized Emily was awake and looking back at her. "Emily" she smiled softly at her friend as she continued to run her finger through her hair. "You're safe now, Emily,"

"How... how long?" she rasped, hoping JJ would understand. "Four days in total, we found you yesterday," JJ replied, watching as Emily's eyes widen. "How bad is it?"

Here Jennifer hesitated, but Emily knew she would not lie to her. She was just trying to find the right words, the ones that would tell her both the good news and the bad without sending her into a panic.

"Bad, Emily," JJ started at last, her blue eyes, bloodshot and dull, filled with pain and what might have been tears. "He cracked a few ribs and caused some internal bleeding. They have dressed your wounds, you will need more surgery though" JJ closed her eyes trying to focus on what she was saying, Emily nodded slightly as she tried to form words "Is are I mean" Emily sighed as a single tear rolled down her cheek "They think plastics will be able to correct the damage he has down to your…" JJ's voice trailed off slightly. Emily tried to lean towards JJ understanding what she was trying to tell her "It's okay JJ" Emily said softly, JJ shook her head slightly meeting Emily's eyes with her own before continuing. "I was really worried about you," she whispered


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

**Sorry the updates are slow right now I have a lot of family issues to deal with so I will update both stories when I can I am still hoping for at least one update a day but I have a funeral tomorrow so I won't be able to post till Saturday after tonight…**

**Many of you may not agree with how I have portrayed Emily's mother **

**Location: Sentara Potomac Hospital**

**Late Morning**

Before JJ could continue, a blonde nurse entered, pulling the curtain slightly back to reveal a wheeled tray covered in cloths and other items. "Hi Miss. Prentiss, nice to see your awake" she chirped brightly. "My name is Kelly and I'm here to clean you up a little and check your dressings" JJ looked at Emily and then back at the nurse. JJ started. "Do I need to leave?" However, Kelly cut her off, "Only if Miss. Prentiss wants you to." Emily rolled her eyes slightly "Stay JJ! Please. Kelly please call me Emily" her voice was raspy and slightly shaky as she spoke

"Alright then," confirmed the nurse. "Let's start." Kelly ripped open a foil package and drew out a steaming, wet cloth. She began with Emily's arms, cleaning her fingers gently and as much of the rest of her arm as she could reach. Once finished with the first cloth, the nurse picked up a soft towel and patted Emily's damp skin to keep her from feeling chilled. JJ perched on the side of the bed and held the fingers of Emily's right hand in hers as the nurse tore open the second foil package.

This time she cleaned Emily's face, ghosting over her broken and swollen cheekbone. She carefully wiped the wincing brunette's neck before she eased the thin gown down to reveal Emily's collarbone and shoulders. As she worked, Kelly hummed to herself and occasionally spoke to Emily, letting her know what she was doing. Emily struggled to hold back her tears as she tried to hide herself into JJ. This was all too much for her right now.

Kelly re-tied the gown around Emily's neck and pulled the warm blankets up to tuck them snugly over her shoulders. She then moved to the foot of the bed and lifted the blankets from Emily's legs before tenderly cleaning as much of the foot and leg as she could reach; she pushed the blanket up a little further to reveal the bandages hiding Emily's mutilated core. Emily closed her eyes tightly as she weakly squeezed JJ's slender hand. JJ made soothing sounds low in her throat as she started to run her fingers gently through Emily's hair, trying to pass on as much strength as she could to her.

Kelly inspected the bandage gently before beginning to cleanse around the area. Kelly pulled the gown and blankets back down to re-cover, Emily's now shivering form. Kelly spoke softly, "I'll send your charge nurse in when she's available to change your bandages and update your chart, Emily." She then turned and wheeled the cart away, pausing to close the privacy curtain as she left.

The tears fell from Emily's eyes as she sobbed uncontrollably "Shh, I've got you Em" JJ whispered softly as she knew why Emily was crying. The tears finally subsided as Emily looked up tiredly at JJ.

"JJ... I think I'm falling asleep," she whispered faintly, realizing only as she said it that it was true. She had obviously exhausted whatever reserves her body had managed to regain, and she could live with it as long as she knew she would never wake up in that place again.

**Early Afternoon.**

Hotch opened the door slowly as to not disturb Emily as she was sleeping peacefully he smiled softly as he motioned to JJ to join him in the hallway "Has she woken up at all?" Hotch asked "She woke for about half an hour" JJ half smiled as she kept trying to watch the inside of the room "I won't keep you long JJ, I have sent everyone to get some lunch and to change, will you be okay, we should be back within a few hours" He said softly as JJ nodded "That's fine, Hotch? Is there any chance you could get Morgan to get me a few things from my house as I could do with a shower, the nurse has said I can use Emily's" she asked softly as Hotch nodded "We won't be long" With that Hotch turned and head down the corridor and JJ quietly entered the room.

She sat watching still running her fingers through Emily's hair, a commotion outside pull JJ from her thoughts as she groaned slightly as she rose leaving the room to find out what the hell was going on outside the room. "I do not care what her team say's I demand to know what room she is in" An angry voice said at the nurses, JJ shuddered internally as she recognized the woman who was shouting somewhat at the nurses "Ma'am?" JJ said softly, the woman turned and look at JJ "Agent Jareau. I would say it's a pleasure, but under the circumstances..." the Ambassador trailed off slightly,

JJ professional walls slammed up as she spoke to her "If you'd like to follow me Ma'am" the Ambassador gently touched JJ's arm as you spoke softly "I think we can leave the professionalism outside, don't you Jennifer?" JJ looked blankly at her for a moment even though she had only met her a few times at work and while she was at Emily's this had totally taken her by surprise. "Ma'am?" JJ went to question again "Elizabeth please" The ambassador requested, now tell me where my daughter is please" JJ half smiled as she guided her into the room "She's only just gone back to sleep" JJ spoke quietly as she watched Emily.

JJ had never seen the Ambassador like this her words pulled her from her thoughts as she turned and looked at her "You look terrible, is there no food or coffee in this place?" Elizabeth asked as she looked at JJ, "I am sure she will be fine for a while shall we?" Elizabeth turned opening the door "Jennifer? You're no good to her if you don't look after yourself" JJ was slightly in shock this was not the abrupt woman she knew.

JJ followed her outside the room slightly wary knowing that she could in fact whisk Emily away if she wanted to. As they walked toward the cafeteria Elizabeth spoke softly "I know my daughters wishes Jennifer" this worried JJ somewhat "Ma'am with all due respect" JJ started but the ambassador cut her off "Is the care up to your standard?" she asked as she turned to look at JJ "Yes Ma'am" The woman sighed slightly "Let's leave the Ma'am outside please" She requested again "I know my daughter and I also know her feelings towards you" This took JJ by surprise as she went to speak again but again she was cut off "I am not a total bitch Jennifer and me and Emily do talk" she smiled softly at her.

After getting some food and coffee they both sat around the table, there were not too many people around as Elizabeth spoke, "I have sent someone to pick Sarah up I assume she doesn't know what has happened?" JJ gave a half smile "We didn't know how to or what to say" JJ admitted as Elizabeth spoke again "Can you please tell me what has happened and what the injuries are please?" Elizabeth asked eyeing up JJ as she spoke. JJ explained everything and told her all the injuries Emily had endured at the hands of Rob; she stumbled slightly over her words. "There's more, that you aren't saying?" Elizabeth asked as JJ blushed shyly a tear rolling down her cheek, she didn't want to talk about Emily's more private areas as she still thought it was her place so she settled on the half-truth "She will need both plastic and corrective surgery" JJ said as she looked down at her hands.

Elizabeth gasped slightly as she had some idea of what she was being told, "Does Emily know?" She enquired "Yes Ma… Elizabeth" JJ corrected herself as she spoke which cause Elizabeth to smile softly. "If you feel the care is not up to standard we can have her moved to a more competent hospital" as she said this JJ panicked somewhat "With all due respect unless Emily says she wants to" JJ was cut off again "Jennifer I will not force nor will I take her from here, unless you feel she needs better care, my daughter trusts your judgement and therefore I do as well." She said in a steady but caring voice.

JJ smiled at this as she spoke "They are being fantastic with her" Elizabeth nodded "May I ask you a question and I would appreciate an honest answer" JJ nodded as she listened to the ambassador but what she asked made JJ choke on her coffee "Do you have feelings for my daughter?" "WH…What?" JJ blushed deeply as she recovered herself. "A simple yes or no would suffice Jennifer" Elizabeth chuckled slightly as she took in the shocked look upon her face, JJ nodded as the words failed her, she smiled but spoke seriously "If it was up to me, I would bang both your heads together! Why have you not told Emily?" JJ never answered her she just looked blankly at the table "I am well aware of Emily's sexuality Jennifer and I have never had any problem with it, but if you hurt her or Sarah, I will have a problem. So if you feel this is too much or you are unable to stand by her you must tell me now" JJ whispers her reply "I'd do anything for her" the tears rolled down her cheek as Elizabeth rose placing her hand on her shoulder. "Then let's get you back downstairs and you can take a shower while I sit with Emily"

**An Hour Later…**

Emily stirred slightly from her sleep, as she woke, she could make out the figure near her "JJ?" she said softly as she turned her still unfocused eyes towards the figure, the voice answered sending her body into panic "Ma'am?" The male nurse replied as he looked over at her.

Emily froze as the voice the figure near her sent waves of panic through her body as she tried to flinch away as the fear washed over her, she remembered JJ being there and all she could think and focus on was the basement and the upcoming torture that would be inflicted on her, and more importantly she feared what this figure had done with JJ

As the fear and panic set in she began to thrash violently in the bed, the nurses voice rose slightly "I need some help in here!" he bellowed as four more nurses flooded into the room sending Emily more and more into a fit of panic as they tried to hold her still.

The two women walked slowly down the corridor, the noise bring both women out of their thoughts. As they turned the corner rushing towards Emily's room where the commotion was emanating from; Emily's room, JJ froze as she saw five nurses holding Emily down and placing restraints on her as she weakly tried to fight them off. Elizabeth had walked slightly in to the back of the frozen press liaison, as she too looked into the room seeing them holding her daughter down the anger in her voice as she spoke made JJ jump "GET OFF HER, RIGHT NOW!" Elizabeth ordered, as the nurses turned to look were the voice had come from.

Emily laid stiff as a board in her bed, her arms and legs tightly bound to the rails of her bed, and a wide-eyed look of frozen terror on her face. "Move away from her now, can you not see your scaring her!" JJ said in a dangerous voice. "Get out now" Elizabeth ordered as the nurses tried to push the two women to one side as they spoke "This is for her own safety" The male nurse said coldly, which made JJ get more angry. "I said move, before I move you myself" The fire and disgust latent in her voice.

Kelly had walked onto the ward as her shift started that morning upon hearing the raised voices coming from one of the private rooms she rushed down towards her patient, she stopped mid-step as she saw what was going on "Everybody out now!" Kelly ordered in a professional manner. "Emily!" JJ muttered still reeling and slightly frozen as the nurses moved away from Emily's side.

Slowly JJ approached the terrified woman as calmly as she could, she spoke softly "Emily look at me sweetie" gently she moved to take hold of Emily's hand; Emily panicked more as she felt the touch. "Emily! Look at me!" JJ tried again with more authority in her voice, hoping to bring her friend out of the terror that had been inflicted on her yet again.

Unfocused eyes meet blue ones as she finally registered the voice, she looked blankly at her for a few moments as JJ slowly tried again to touch her, Emily flinched slightly at the touch but blue eyes held her deep brown eyes to hers as she spoke "Your safe Emily" she said as calmly as she could. Emily's voice was weak and strained as she spoke, still held in the terror of the basement "Run" as a tear ran down her cheek "Shh.. your safe Emily" fear still latent on Emily's face as she looked into her friends eyes, eyes she trusted, she tugged weakly at the binding that held her to the bed.

JJ ran her fingers gently through her hair as she spoke "I need you to stay still , okay?" she said softly as she ran her fingers down her arm meeting the leather restraints that held her friends wrists. Brown eyes focused on her voice and eyes as she nodded weakly. Slowly and gently, JJ removed the restraints that the nurses had placed on her already bruised and frail skin. Humming softly as she kept her movements slow and steady her gaze never leaving Emily's face.

As JJ removed all the bindings from her wrists and ankles, she smiled softly at Emily, "I will be right back, okay?" Emily nodded as the fear and panic drifted slightly away from her mind.

Kelly followed JJ and Elizabeth out to the nurses' station "I want to know what the hell happened" JJ's voice was dangerous and firm as the five nurses looked at the small blonde "NOW!" she snapped. "She woke up and panicked" the male nurse brushed her off, which caused JJ to become angrier as Elizabeth cut in "Is that how you treat trauma and rape victims? Sending a male nurse in to see to her care?"

"I was just checking her charts" He tried to dis-miss the two women before he noticed Kelly stood behind them. Kelly's voice cut in before the agent and ambassador could start again "You was told not to go in that room, by me and Doctor Grant, You all are aware of the trauma she has suffered and yet you still, went in there, causing my patient to panic and no doubt have caused more damage to her injuries" she stated as all five nurses looked down as though they were being shouted at by a teacher. "I suggest you all leave right now" Kelly ordered "And get off my ward"

Kelly looked at the two women, "I am so sorry JJ Ma'am!" Kelly said sincerely. JJ nodded as she began to walk back towards Emily's room as she spoke "If any of them come in , I will not be held responsible for my actions" her voice giving no room for a disagreement "I doubt they will have jobs when I am through" Kelly said softly as she followed the two women back into the room.

Emily laid still in the bed as the fear and panic started to pass, the three women walked back into her room "I need to check her dressings" Kelly said softly as she could see the blood seeping through her blankets. "I'll wait outside Jennifer," Elizabeth said softly as her eyes washed over her daughter sadly.

JJ just nodded as a tear ran down her cheek before slowly walking over to Emily's side she spoke softly and calmly "Emily, Kelly just needs to check your dressings" she watched Emily as she spoke she could still see the fear on her face, JJ took hold of Emily's hand as she whispered softly "I'm not going anywhere your safe" Emily nodded slightly as she watched JJ.

Kelly walked slowly over towards the two women, as she did not want to frighten her more than she already was. Causing stress and fear too anyone is bad enough but someone who had gone through so much already could have dreadful consequences on a person.

Kelly spoke softly as she approached the side of the bed "Emily I need to check your dressings and change your blanket" she said softly as she slowly moved her hands towards the top of the blanket which had turned red, in Emily's struggles, gently she removed the blanket that was covering her chest, JJ was talking softly to Emily her eyes focused on her face and not was the nurse was doing at the side of her.

Emily closed her eyes slightly as she felt her touch her skin, she flinched slightly "Shh... I've got you" JJ reassured her. Kelly had removed the dressings slowly and gently as she could, revealing her swollen and reddened breasts. Emily turned her head in shame, trying to hide herself into JJ.

For just a moment JJ's eyes left Emily as Kelly spoke "I will have to get the doctor too come and have a look, her stitches have burst" she said softly as JJ caught a glimpse of the exposed flesh, she half flinched as she finally saw the damaged that had befallen Emily, "Okay" she said softly feeling the tears fall onto her hand she looked back to Emily who had been watching JJ's movements. "It's okay sweetie," she said softly. Emily shook her head slightly, as she became embarrassed and humiliated "Ss…oorr.y" Emily muttered as she started to close her eyes.

She smiled sadly at her friend as she wrapped her arm the best she could around her small frame "Don't be sorry Em" she said softly as she ran her fingers gently through her hair, for the first time in her life Emily doubted herself and the words she heard falling out of JJ's mouth "I..You should. I mean" Emily stumbled over her words as she spoke and yet again JJ understood "I am not leaving you Emily Prentiss" she said firmly causing Emily to look into her eyes "What has happened to you, is not your fault," she held her eyes in her own for a moment before the words softly fell from her mouth "I love you Emily, and I am not going anywhere"


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

**Location: Sentara Potomac Hospital**

**Late Afternoon.**

"I would like to be passed through to the person in charge of the hospital" "Yes I'll hold" after a few moments, the manager answered the phone. "This is Ambassador Prentiss, May I take your name?" She asked curtly. "I am ringing regarding the care and treatment of my daughter Emily Prentiss" there was a long pause "I am her Mother and I have a right to voice my concerns and unless you resolve this matter I will take this above your head. Am I clear enough for you" Elizabeth said abruptly.

Hotch and the rest of his team made their way towards the ward, they slowed down slightly as they hear a woman they all knew, speaking in an abrupt manner to someone.

"I do not care what it takes, if I see them five people anywhere near my daughter again, you will have a lawsuit on your hands, so fast your head will spin. Am I clear enough for you!" Elizabeth said in an abrupt and angry tone "

"Hotch, can she do that?" Reid asked. "Unless she challenges JJ, then I don't think so!" Hotch replied

"Do you have any idea what torture they have put her through" she stopped slightly

Hotch frowned slightly as they made their way slowly towards the Ambassador.

"No I am not exaggerating at all, if you want confirmation I suggest you get down here right now, or shall I have someone collect you?" there was a slight pause "I am glad we agree, may I point out if I see them near or around this ward I will also see that you also lose your job also, and I advise you not to test me!" snapping her phone shut not giving the man on the other end a chance to respond. She closed her eyes slightly as she tried to regain control over her anger.

"Ambassador?" Hotch said in a wary tone "Is everything" she cut him off "Jennifer is with Emily and I think she may have burst a few stitches" she said softly as she looked at Hotch. He frown slightly they were all fine when they had left to go and change. "Aaron" she faltered as she spoke. "They restrained Emily again and Jennifer is trying to calm her down," she never explained anymore as the team settled into the chairs next to her.

The doors to Emily's room opened as Kelly stepped out into the corridor "Ma'am she is comfortable now if you want to go and see her" Elizabeth nodded "The surgeon should be down soon, to take her back into theatre" she said sadly as she looked at the rest of the team.

JJ sat next to her bed whispering softly to her as she waited for the sobs that were coming from Emily subsided "Jennifer," Elizabeth said softly as she did not want to startle either of them. Raising her head to meet the Ambassadors JJ shook her head slightly as she took in the amount of blood that was seeping through the fresh blanket.

Slowly she walked over to the foot of the bed speaking soft but firm "Emily" she flinched at her name being said, "Emily" she said again softly as her daughter turned her head slightly looking towards the person at the foot of her bed "Mo…ther?" Elizabeth smiled softly at her daughter.

"Jennifer would you mind if I had a few moments alone with her please" JJ frowned slightly not fully understanding why she was asking permission from her "Of course Ma'am" JJ looked at her with an apologetic look on her face "Sorry, Elizabeth" JJ smiled sadly as she walked into the corridor.

Closing the door behind herself JJ leaned against the cool glass not noticing her friends sitting and looking at her, Hotch broke the silence as he spoke to her "JJ what on earth happened?" JJ's blood shocked eyes met concerned eyes as she finally broke down.

After a few moments JJ collected herself before looking at the rest of the team she sighed softly as she began to explain what had happened this morning, and how much damage Emily had done as she fought the nurses.

Kelly hovered near the station motioning for JJ to come to her, "Doctor Grant will be taking her shortly once they have sterilized the theatre" she said softly "Thank you" she replied before re-joining her friends.

Elizabeth walked slowly around the bed taking the seat that JJ had been sitting in "Emily sweetheart look at me" Emily tried to gain control over her emotions but failed as the words left her mouth "Mother, I…I.." The sobs came harder this time, Elizabeth ran her fingers gently along her daughters face "No need to be ashamed darling" she said softly causing Emily to look at her with teary eyes.

Emily closed her eyes slightly as her Mother touched her face before she found the words she was looking for "It's bad" Elizabeth nodded slightly "I know, but you will recover Emily" she spoke softly "Don't look so worried I do not think she is going anywhere" she smiled as her daughter blushed slightly and shook her head "I..I mean...I'm a mess and she saw Mother" Emily broke down again as Elizabeth wrapped her arm carefully around her "And yet she still loves you, so it's not that bad" she comforted her daughter with what she needed to hear.

Emily shook her head against her body "She doesn't know" Elizabeth chuckled slightly as she answered "She knows now, and if you wasn't so badly hurt I would be banging your heads together, very hard" she teased, as the sobs slowly slowed down as she realized what her Mother had said "You did what?" Emily asked somewhat confused and unsure she had heard correctly. Elizabeth ignored her question and smiled softly at her "If it was up to you two you'd dance around your feelings forever. I have just given it a push" Emily looked at her "Sarah?" she questioned slightly. "She will be here later, I will explain things before she sees you" Emily nodded as she leaned into the comfort of her mother "Shh, and you are going to be okay Emily" she reassured her softly.

The slight knock on the door pulled both women out of their thoughts as a doctor entered the room "Ma'am, Emily" he smiled softly "We have to take you into surgery now." He said softly to them both "I'll be here when you come back Emily" she confirmed as the two porters started to wheel her out of the room.

Elizabeth left the room after a few moments to join the rest of Emily's team in the corridor. "Jennifer" JJ turn and look at her "Yes?" she replied. "Will you please go and have a shower and get changed" She smiled softly at the younger woman "I am quite sure no one would mind." "What if she comes back and I am not here?" JJ tried to argue her point "Jennifer I very much doubt that and beside a shower won't take long unless you insist on arguing about it" Elizabeth pointed out. "And if Emily returns and your still in the shower I will inform you" JJ nodded as she slowly walk into Emily's room grabbing her bag before stepping into the bathroom.

"They are both as stubborn as each other," Elizabeth commented as she sat back down in the corridor causing Morgan to laugh, "You have no idea Ma'am" she smiled at the young man at her side. "Aaron?" she said in a firm voice the humour left behind. "Would you and the rest of your team mind doing something for me?" She asked, "What do you need us to do Ambassador?" Hotch asked still slightly wary of her.

Lifting her purse out of her bag and a small piece of paper she scribbled a few numbers down and a small list "Would you all be so kind and go shopping for me for a few bits as I would rather stay with Jennifer and Emily" Hotch frowned slightly as Rossi replied "What do you need Elizabeth?" Rossi was the only one who could get away with not being formal in front of her.

She looked at him smiling softly. Elizabeth Prentiss had a plan to make these too women wake up. "It would mean a great deal to me if you could pick some items up for me" She looked at Hotch as she handed her bankcard and list over to him "I am very sure I can trust you with this?" "Yes Ma'am" Hotch smiled slightly as he replied taking the offered items. "And Aaron, can you please pick up some suitable night wear for these two lady's" Hotch nodded as he ushered his somewhat shocked team down the corridor and out the hospital.

"Did that just happen?" Morgan said as they walked outside. "She was and is so" Reid tried to look for the words he needed "I guess personal and professional attires" Hotch smiled, he finally looked down at the list she had handed to him and shook his head slightly "This is going to be a long afternoon" Garcia laughed "I take it none of you have even been shopping with a Prentiss before?" the four men answered all together "No" she smirked "Well if Emily takes after her Mother it should be easy."

JJ stepped into the shower the warm water hitting her skin, letting out a slight moan as her muscles finally relaxed under the heat, she allowed her mind to wonder over the past few days as she tried to process everything which had happened and everything she had been told.

JJ had also managed to keep her personal life just that, she never talked about dating or what she did, but Garcia knew everything, Emily she still hadn't opened up to fully always keeping one part of her hidden, "If only I had the guts to tell her sooner" she muttered as the water sprayed her face. This was someone who had haunted her dreams for the past few years; she is the one who was always there when she needed someone to talk to, to listen to her.

After 15 minutes of the water spraying her body she turned it off feeling revived and fresh as she towelled herself off, she cursed aloud "Damn it" a gentle knock on the door pulled her out of the thought that swam in her head. "Jennifer is everything alright?" Elizabeth spoke in a concerned voice. "Y...yes" Her weak reply was enough for Elizabeth to demand she unlocked the door there and then "Jennifer open this door at once" She order and for some unknown reason JJ obeyed, opening the door her towel wrapped tightly around her the words stumbled out her mouth "If I had told her none of this would have happened" the sob ripped from her chest as Elizabeth wrapped her arms tightly around her.

"Jennifer, this wasn't your fault, you didn't take her or beat her, you saved her," Elizabeth said softly as she ran her fingers through JJ's wet hair. JJ looked at her "If I had told her how I felt" Elizabeth cut her off "Do not blame yourself, you have done nothing wrong, and Emily doesn't blame you either" she said softly looking at her. Elizabeth gently wiped the tears away "Get dressed before you catch a chill, she should be back soon" JJ stood looking at her slightly stunned, she had never seen this side of Emily's mother.

"Aaron can be trusted with my bank card cant he?" she let out a warm smile as she winked as JJ froze slightly "Ma, Elizabeth?" "She smiled knowing full well what she was about to be asked "I sent him and the others shopping for me" with that she turned leaving JJ alone.

JJ came out of the room a few moments later asking as soon as she saw Elizabeth "Any news?" the concern showing in her voice "Not yet"

"Are you sure this is the correct place Garcia, the last thing we need is the wrath of that woman coming down on us" Hotch said as he doubled checked the price tag on one of the items. "You are aware of how much Emily likes to shop aren't you, I mean she drags me and JJ around the shops at least twice a month and this my sweets is the only place you are going to find this perfume"

"But it is over 200dollars a bottle" Morgan somewhat gasped as he too saw the price tag "And the only one Emily will wear" Garcia pointed out as she smiled at the now familiar shop assistant "Are you after the usual?" she asked as she looked around for the other two women who normally came with her. "Yes please, but can you gift wrap it" Garcia requested as the assistant picked up the bottle wrapping it in expensive paper. Hotch shook his head slightly as he passed the card over to her. "Thank you" after paying and leaving the shop he muttered, "Glad Haley never wanted this stuff" he somewhat joked.

"Right what's next on the list?" Garcia asked as Hotch looked down at the paper and becoming slightly embarrassed "Well?" "Lingerie" he said in a whisper. Garcia laughed slightly "I know just the place" "Do you even know what size she is" Reid enquired "Yes I do and also the perfect shop to get some suitable sleepwear from as well" she replied chirpily as she looked at the four embarrassed men in front of her "I'll go in alone if you would rather wait outside" the three of them nodded aside from Morgan "I'll come with you" he smirked.

Over an hour had pasted and still no sign that Emily was coming out of surgery JJ walked over to the nurses' station where Kelly was filling in paperwork "Kelly" she said softly "Is there any word?" Kelly half smiled at her "The doctor will explain once they bring Emily back they should be here soon" JJ nodded as she walked back over to the seats. The two women silent in their own thoughts.


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

**Location: Sentara Potomac Hospital**

**Early Evening.**

They sat there in silence as Elizabeth spoke, "tell me about yourself please Jennifer, anytime I ask Emily she just tells me you're a very private person" she said softly to which JJ nodded "I am a very private person" JJ smiled "Please? You don't need to tell me everything just what you are comfortable with" she smiled as JJ finally agreed to tell her about herself.

"I grew up in a very small town near Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. I use to collect butterflies as a child, I was captain of the high school varsity soccer team my senior year which earned me an athletic scholarship to the University of Pittsburgh. I also attended Georgetown." She paused for a moment before continuing.

"I decided to join the FBI after I attended a book reading by BAU founder and Unit Chief at the time Agent David Rossi. I was not sure what I wanted to do until I listened to his reading, which was held in the campus bookstore during my senior year in college. The next fall, I applied to the FBI Academy."

"And are you happy with your job?" She asked softly "Dealing with these people every day must be hard"

JJ smiled softly "My job involves mostly doing paperwork and seeing what cases need us most, talking to the media and the local authorities and comforting the victims' families. And I do enjoy it" she replied honestly.

A weary looking doctor stood at the side of the nurses' station, handing Kelly a file which she looked over as her eyes saddened somewhat, the doctor approached the two now silent lady's "Jennifer, May I have a word" He asked softly JJ looked at the woman at her side as she stood "This is Emily's Mother," JJ said as to clearly state she had every reason to hear what was said, He gave the lady a small smile "Mind if we step inside" his body leaning towards the privacy of Emily's room.

As the three of them entered the room, he closed the door gently behind them. "I have managed to stitch her injuries again but when we did the x-ray I noticed that one of her broken ribs had moved causing it to puncture her lung, I have inserted a tube which is attached to a suction device that will slowly remove the air over the course of several hours or days depending so you will have to be very careful, also we are now giving Emily a round of antibiotic therapy to prevent infection due to the tubing" JJ looked at him "Is she going to be okay?" Elizabeth took hold of JJ's hand as they waited for him to respond. "She should be now we have repaired the damage she should wake up soon but she will be very groggy" wishing he could give them some good news for once. "I will have her brought up shortly" With that, he turned and left the room.

JJ sat on the edge of her bed as she waited for Emily to return, "Jennifer, please tell her how you feel" Elizabeth said softly, "And don't become as stubborn as my daughter or you will never get there"

"JJ, Grandmother" Sarah said as she walked into the room "Where's mom?" she looked at JJ "Sarah come with me please" Elizabeth said taking hold of Sarah's hand. "Tell Emily we won't be long" she smiled softly before heading down the corridor with Sarah.

The rest of the team arrived with a few more bags than they thought they should have JJ chuckled as she saw Garcia "You didn't drag them in every shop did you?" she asked as Garcia held up the bags "These are mine I got Morgan to try them on" "Hey, you did not such thing" Morgan half argued back "Did you manage to get everything I asked for Aaron?" Elizabeth asked as he handed over her card and the few bags, which were hers "Thank you" The items were perfectly wrapped in gold paper and red ribbons, wrapped around them, as she looked through the bag she found the item she wanted. "Sarah is up in the canteen, so if you could excuse me while I go and get her" Elizabeth smiled before settling her eyes back on JJ.

"Jennifer" hearing her name which stopped the antics between the three younger agents "Yes?" "I will be back shortly, can you let Emily know" she smiled at Garcia "I will, they shouldn't be that much longer" JJ replied

The silence fell among them, as two people wheeled a somewhat groggy Emily into the room. The team said there wishes as Emily somewhat responded to them her words slightly slurred, JJ ushered them out of the room, just as Reid asked about the tube that had appeared.

Once in the corridor JJ explained what had happened to them and also asked them to all go home and rest and be with their families "If I need you I will ring okay!" she assured them, "We will be back tomorrow" Morgan and Garcia said at the same time making JJ smile "Thank you"

The team retreated leaving JJ alone with Hotch his hawk like eyes watching her carefully as he spoke "JJ I don't say this often and it is also not my place to, but you two both need to talk and be honest with each other" JJ looked puzzled for a moment before nodding "I know" "you can't run away all the time JJ" He said as he placed his hand on her shoulder "You know where I am if you need anything, We will see you tomorrow"

JJ walked back into the room closing the door behind her as she sighed softly, Emily had watched her come in and through her somewhat groggy haze tried to smile as the words partly slurred from her lips "hold me?" JJ smiled at her softly before walking over to her "Are you sure?" she asked somewhat aware of the wires and her bruises, Emily nodded as the blonde gently settled down at her side wrapping her arm gently across her waist "Did you mean it?" Emily mumbled into JJ's neck "Mean what sweetie?" "That you love me?" Emily asked as she felt her eyes closing, JJ gently kissed her forehead as she whispered into her ear "More than you know"

**Location: Sentara Potomac Hospital**

**Thursday Morning**

Emily woke up slowly, pulling and clawing herself out of a nightmare of darkness and agony, only to feel herself pinned by a weight across her waist and something on her shoulder. She almost panicked, but something held back the flood of terror that threatened to drown her, "Mm..."

She frowned at the whisper of sound right next to her ear, which seemed to have come from the weight on her shoulder. Blinking slowly, she turned her head slightly "Mmm..."

Again, that soft murmur derailed her thought process, taking the worst of the edge off her fear, keeping it at bay while still allowing her to focus on the noise. Finally, she looked above her, finding the unmistakable monitors and wires that always meant hospital. Now that she looked, she could see the IV in her arm and the bags that fed into the tubes, and from there into the needle embedded in her vein. This again indicated hospital. "Emily..."

The sound of her own name got her to turn back to JJ, but the woman was apparently still asleep. "Hmm..."

She felt her whole body tensed slightly at the strange whooshing sound that emanated from her side, but she was once again distracted as JJ stirred, lifting her head up and blinking tiredly. "Hey" She said sleepily as she looked into deep chocolate eyes "You talk in your sleep" Emily voice sounding slightly raspy,

Suddenly JJ gasped as she tried to recall the dream she had, had blushing slightly "Oh, I, What did I say?" she asked Emily, who had a bemused look on her face. JJ moved slightly as she tried to lift herself up from the bed as she started to feel embarrassed "Don't" Emily muttered "Don't go" JJ looked down into concerned eyes and smiled slightly "My bladder needs me to move" JJ chuckled as she slowly get off the bed. "Oh" Emily blushed slightly.

JJ appeared a few moments later looking a little more refreshed, Emily studied her for a few moments before she found the words she wanted to say "JJ, Did you I mean, well," Emily fumbled with her words, as JJ walked back over kiss placed a gentle kiss on Emily's forehead "I meant it" Was all JJ said as widened eyes looked at her. "I didn't dream it then?" she half smiled "No you didn't Em," "How long?" JJ blushed slightly as she started to answer "Your first day" JJ turned away slightly as her face reddened "Ditto" Emily replied as she smiled softly at the woman in front of her.

Both women were pulled from their thoughts as a gentle knock disturbed then "Good morning JJ," Kelly smiled softly before noticing a very awake Emily "Good morning Emily nice to see you awake, I just need to check your charts and I will come back in a little while to clean your dressings" she said softly "Did you sleep okay?" Kelly asked as she wrote on the chart "Mostly, yes" JJ frown slightly at Emily's answer but dis-missed it until they were alone. "Are you in any pain?" She asked, Emily nodded slightly, "I'll ask for your morphine to increased" Kelly left the room after finishing filling in the chart.

"Emily, did something happen last night?" Emily shook her head slightly "Em?" Emily's expression changed and her already pale skin turned bone white. "Emily? Emily, what's wrong?"

"You know exactly what happened, don't you?" the brunette asked, sounding more than a little faint all of a sudden. JJ frowned, wondering what she meant, and turned pale herself, realizing what Emily was talking about. She did not know about him recording it. She tried to think of something to say, something to take away the devastation ripping across her friend's face, but in the end, she realized that, horrible as it was, she would be better off telling her the truth.

"He had recorded everything," JJ explained hating the words, which worsened the horror on her companion's face, "He apparently recorded... everything."

"You mean his, don't you?" Emily broke in, her voice devoid of emotion, "and you saw it. You all saw it?" "Uh... Garcia did not. She couldn't watch it"

Dark brown eyes closed, and JJ was afraid she either had passed out or had retreated into her mind. "Emily" she said gently, for several impossibly long seconds she was frozen, terrified that this had been the last straw Emily's fragile psyche could take. When those eyes opened again, she breathed, realizing only then that she had been holding her breath. The dark brown depths were glassy and unfocused, but they did seem to be alert and aware.

Shaking away her fear and shame she looked deeply into kind and understanding blue eyes "Thank you" she said softly "for being honest, with me" JJ smiled sadly and spoke softly "I could never lie to you Emily"

Silence had fell between them both as Emily pulled away in shame and JJ was mentally kicking herself, for telling Emily about the video, Kelly walked back in the room pushing a cart which had a bowl of warm water fresh dressings and a soft towel underneath.

JJ looked down slightly as she spoke "You want me to leave Emily?" her voice distant and unsure "No" Emily spoke firmly as she looked at the woman she loved and needed, "Stay, please" Emily asked their eyes finally meeting after the awkward silence that had fallen over them, JJ nodded and moved on the bed to be closer to her friend.

"Who will be staying with you once you are discharged" Kelly asked as she looked at the two lady's, distracting them as she gently lifted the blanket exposing her dressings on her chest. "I…Will I mean, if that's" JJ stumbled over her words, as Emily kindly cut in "I was hoping you'd allow me to go home with JJ?" she asked as the blush took over her skin "That's if she will have me" "What girl could refuse that offer" Kelly grinned as she spoke causing both women to turn a deeper shade of red.

Gently Kelly removed the dressings which cover her mutilated chest as she cleaned around the stitches; Emily again turned her head in shame as JJ caressed her cheek "JJ I need to show you how to clean and change the dressings" Kelly said softly getting the blondes attention. Kelly explained what she was doing and how to clean around the stitches on her chest.

Emily for her part kept her eyes closed as the shamed washed over her as she felt her lower covers being removed exposing her most private areas. "Shh. It's okay" JJ said softly trying to calm a now sobbing Emily as Kelly slowly removed the dressings that covered her, JJ closed her eyes at the sight she saw torn matted flesh and dark black stitches holding her delicate skin together. Taking a deep breath in as she watched Kelly clean where the blood had dried before placing fresh dressings over her mutilated core.

JJ turned back to Emily only to see her eyes still closed and hot tears falling slowly to her cheeks. JJ reached to pull a tissue from the box near Emily's bed and dabbed gently at the quietly sobbing woman's eyes. The action got Emily's attention and she opened her eyes to find JJ hovering concernedly over her. "Shh, sweetheart," JJ said, smiling softly. "Don't cry. I'm here."

Once Kelly had left JJ had got back onto the bed wrapping her arm around Emily as Emily rested her head on her shoulder, the soft knock at the door pulled them both from their own thoughts as Sarah walked in looking at her mother "Mom" she whispered walking in more. She looked at JJ and gave a small smile but the worry in her eyes betrayed her. "Emily I'll leave two alone I'll just be outside. Emily looked at her, then back at her daughter, and nodded. "Are you still too old to give your Mom a hug?" Emily asked looking at her, Sarah looked heartbroken as she eyed her up "Will I hurt you?" she asked slightly unsure "No, just be gentle" Sarah climb onto the bed where JJ had been laid as she wrapped herself into her mother "I'm sorry mommy," Sarah said softly.


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

**Location: Sentara Potomac Hospital**

**Friday Morning.**

The sobs slowly subsided keeping her face buried in JJ's neck she mumbled "Jennifer?" JJ smiled softly at her as she said her name "Yes?" something changed between them in the past few hours, the shame still emanated through Emily like a knife.

Her thoughts took over as her eyes dulled making a somewhat worried JJ even more worried "Emily?" no reply, she tried again "Emily!" still no answer, she pressed a slight kiss on her forehead "Emily Prentiss you will look at me and tell me" JJ said in a very firm and professional voice and it worked as she got a weak reply that made JJ flinch slightly "You should go"

"Wh...What?" JJ stuttered, soft fingers caressed her sore cheek, "Emily look at me please" she conveyed all the emotions she was holding in through in her voice, sad eyes met hurt ones, as Emily realized what she had said and how it sounded she shook her head slightly "I...You don't I mean you" she stopped as JJ smiled softly "I am right where I need to be"

She bent slightly down her eyes locking with Emily's as soft gentle lips met hers, she kissed her softly, as tears fell from brown ones as her jaw ached slightly as her stomach turned.

"Finally" came a voice somewhat chirpy voice, making both women jump slightly "Garcia!" JJ scowled somewhat angry "It's rude not to knock" as Emily groaned slightly as she blushed deeply, trying to hide her face.

"It's taken you how long?" Garcia said ignoring the fiery blonde and the blushing brunette. Emily spoke softly as her voice allowed "Garcia, if you have taken any pictures I want a copy!" Emily blurted out making them all chuckle "How about the video instead?"

Emily froze slightly as she closed her eyes, she didn't know which was worse the fact that her friends had seen her mutilated and bruised body or the fact that he had recorded, "Emily?" she said softly as she cupped her cheek gently.

Garcia gasped slightly as the words stumbled from her lips "What! She knows?" JJ nodded as her focus for totally on her friends shaking form "Emily, it's okay" JJ reassured her as Garcia spoke "Emily, I am so sorry, I didn't mean" Emily smiled weakly at the her "it's okay Pen"

Emily knew Garcia did not have an unkind bone in her body as she shook the thoughts that had clouded her mind. She looked at her two friends softly "Garcia! Stop hovering in the doorway."

Slowly she walked in fully closing the door behind her "JJ I am starving" Emily said as they all heard her stomach growl. The sudden change in Emily made JJ turn slightly worried "I'll see if they can get you something to eat" she smiled as she went to head out of the room leaving Garcia alone with her.

"Emily?" she nodded softly "Have you actually told her how you feel?" she half chuckled "Not in so many words" "Well I for one am routing for you" Emily shook her head slightly as she formed the words "I need you to do something for me, before JJ gets back"

"Are you sure?" Garcia asked as JJ returned. Emily smiled at her bubbly friend and let out a small laugh "Yes!" was all she replied as a now bouncy and happy Garcia walked out the room "My god hunk of chocolate gorgeousness I need you to come with me" she said grabbing Morgan as he walked up the corridor "babygirl?" was all he was able to say as he was dragged back down the corridor and into the parking lot.

JJ walked back over to the bed "Hold me? Please?" Emily said as JJ climbed gently on to the bed, wrapping her arm gently around her "Everything okay?" she asked slightly worried "No, I need to tell you something" Emily said somewhat shyly

JJ nodded as she held her friend close "Jennifer" there it was again her full name, no one used her full name ever "Yes?" say replied as she listen to the way her name sounded again, Emily sighed softly as she tried to find the right words to say,

"I love you, I mean, I am in love with you" she stuttered out as she tried to hide her face more into the nook of JJ's neck "there hasn't been a day I don't think about you" she carried on trying to explain something. JJ waited knowing there was more to come.

"When I went to the bar Friday, I wanted to be alone I needed to work things through" JJ felt a tear fall onto her chest as Emily continued "I let my guard down JJ, Its" JJ cut her off "No Emily it is not your fault, don't you dare blame yourself for what that bastard did to you" placing her lips against Emily's head, Emily closed her eyes as she listened to her

"When I woke up in that room, and after he" she faltered slightly "All I could think of was you, I held on to your smile and your laughter a...nd, you saved me" she ran her finger so gently down Emily's back as she felt the tears fall on to her "Your beautiful" she whispered.

JJ smiled softly "Can I ask you something Em?" Emily nodded as she listened to the steady beating of JJ's heart "When you" JJ frowned slightly as she carried on ghosting letters along Emily's back making Emily chuckle against her skin "What?" she asked distracting her thoughts. "Do you know what you're drawing on my back?"

Emily asks as she tried to get closer to her friends form, she shook her head as she frowned more "What?" "If you're trying to ask me out you could at least wait till I'm not confined to a bed" Emily teased "Oh" she blushed deeply against her friend.

Kelly disturbed them from their thoughts as she brought in a tray of food, JJ moved slowly trying to get off the bed as Kelly raised her hand slightly "I managed to get you both something to eat" She smiled softly ignoring the blushing blonde Emily frowned as she saw the Jell-O and what appeared to be mush on the tray that was placed on her table which was being moved across her stomach "Let me lower your bed and sit you up slightly" Kelly said as she took hold of the bed controls, Emily winced slightly as the tube in her side nipped her skin slightly and her bruised body adjusted "What's that?" she asked somewhat sceptical of the food that had been placed in front of her.

Kelly laughed slightly "its processed food that will be gentle on your stomach as your body has not had much solids in the past few days" Emily groaned "it looks gross" causing JJ to laugh "Emily, be nice or you may end up wearing it" she joked.

Emily rolled her eyes slightly "There any coffee?" she asked hoping they would allow her to have some, "Just try and keep this down first, then we will see about fluids and maybe removing your IV" Kelly said kindly as she looked at the now slightly scowling woman.

Emily I just want to have a word with Kelly I won't be long, with that they both walked out of her room closing the door behind her, "How long until you remove the tube?" JJ asked, "Doctor Grant is hoping it can come out this afternoon" JJ nodded, "Will she be able to be discharged soon?"

JJ knew Emily hated hospitals it was something the whole team hated, and she knew once Emily was able to leave the bed she would want to go home. "In the next couple of days" Kelly smiled "Once she is able to get herself out of bed, and her catheter has been removed, and she has managed to pass water she should be able to be discharged" "Thank you" JJ smiled as she walked back into the room.

"Emily you're meant to be eating?" JJ informed her as she entered the room. "It looks like baby food" Emily grumbled slightly, also not wanting to admit the fact she had been struggling to lift her weaken arms to be able to lift the spoon, which is normal after receiving electric shocks, JJ knew what the problem was, but also she knew Emily needed some control over her body and she would ask if she wanted the help.

Emily tried again gripped the spoon slightly, and dropping it against the table "Damn it" she cursed in frustration, before looking up at her smirking friend "You really are stubborn aren't you?" she said as she lifted the spoon off the table

"No, I just want to be able to lift a damn spoon to my mouth" Emily replied in a frustrated voice. "Your muscles suffered and have weakened due to the electric shocks you received" JJ said softly as she lifted some food to her mouth

"Doctor Grant said you would or many lose some sensation, control and you maybe not be able to feel if something is too hot or too cold for a while till your body fully recovers" she said honestly. "Oh" Emily said as she passively opened her mouth allowing JJ to feed her.

**Location: Shopping **

"Explain it to me again" Morgan said as Garcia dragged him to the car "how did you manage to get Emily's bank card again?" she frowned slightly as she looked straight at him "What you think I cannot be trusted enough with someone else's money?" Garcia glared at a very worried Morgan "I didn't mean it like that" He argued "Just remember I can wipe out that you have ever" Morgan cut her off just before she finished "Okay.." he said holding up his hands "at least tell me where you are dragging me too?" "We are going shopping my gum-drop"

Garcia drove them both down what could only be described as the most disgusting area in town "Are you sure you know where you're going?" He asked as he looked around at the shabby looking shops "You dare doubt me?" she raised her eyebrow at him as he quietened down "Wise choice" she winked pulling up outside a small building that didn't look like it could sell anything nice or that people ever visited.

"This my sweet sexy beast, sells the most mouth-watering chocolate a girl could dream of" she said softly as she switched the engine off. "You sure about that, it looks like it belongs to the little shop of horrors" Morgan joked as he stepped out the car.

They walked into the dimly lit shop as the assistant greeted the "Miss Garcia" He smiled brightly "It has been along" he stopped abruptly as he spotted Morgan "Where is Miss Prentiss and Jareau?" Garcia smiled softly "Miss Prentiss was in an accident" she replied "I am after some of them delicious truffles that she normally buys" he smiled softly as he walked to the back of the store retrieving a small brown box "Is it possible you can gift wrap it" she asked kindly" "of course, will you wish Miss Prentiss a speedy recovery from me" Garcia smiled and nodded as she handed over the card "Of course"

"I cannot believe that cost $20," Morgan mumbled as the left the shop "Ah you have never tasted one of these though" Garcia grinned, "They are better than sex" this caused Morgan to choke slightly "Garcia I doubt that" she laughed slightly as they got back into the car. "So where to next" he enquired, "Jewellery shop to pick up a necklace" Morgan frowned slightly "Okay, how do you know which she wants and who is it for?" Morgan asked somewhat confused

Garcia explained what Emily's Mother had done for her as she pulled up near a very expensive jewellery shop "You're sure this is the place" "Only the best for our Emily" Garcia replied "And of course JJ" she smirked "You mean? They finally?" Garcia laughed as she pulled out her camera "I caught it all" she grinned as she showed him what she had walked in on earlier

**Location: Sentara Potomac Hospital**

**Early Afternoon.**

"Reid I am just going for a shower can you two please behave while I'm not around" JJ smirked just as Emily declared checkmate.

JJ stared at the board, then up at her grinning friend, then turned to Reid, who was fixed on the black and white pieces.

"How did you...?" he sputtered, shaking his head. JJ shook her head, trying not to laugh, "Behave or I will ground you both" with that, JJ retreated in to the bathroom leaving Emily and Reid chuckling "I demand a rematch!" Reid declared suddenly, "you must have cheated!"

"She beat you AGAIN, Reid. How does a normal mortal beat the super genius at chess, anyway? You are losing your touch?" Morgan said as he and Garcia walked into the room

"Hey Morgan, you want a game?" The dark agent looked from the board to the dark brown eyes, and then shook his head, holding up his hands in surrender. "Hey, if you can beat boy wonder here, I don't have a chance. I'd rather be spared that."

"Afraid your fragile male ego couldn't take it?" Garcia teased, and he straightened to his full height, pointing a meaningful finger at her. "You listen here, little lady. My male ego is quite secure, thank you very much. I just prefer not to go into something knowing I'll lose." "Smart man," Emily retorted.

The brunette turned and grinned at Garcia "Did you get it all" she asked looking more like her normal self, the dark shadows lingering in her eyes and tension had seemed to have taken up permanent residence in her muscles. In addition, judging from Morgan's understanding gaze when she glanced his way, they were not fooled either, but no of them would say anything. "Yes" handing over the bags for Emily to inspect.

Emily grinned brightly as she looked at the items in the bags "Thank you" she smiled at Garcia making Morgan shake his head "What?" Emily frowned looking at Morgan "expensive chocolates" he muttered as the two women started to laugh around him. "Oh they are better than sex" Emily chuckled

"It's my turn to pick a game. I want to play poker," Emily declared as JJ appeared from the bathroom. She spotted the confused boys and the now blushing women "Did I miss something?" she asked as Emily shook her head, "No you didn't miss anything" "Reid?" JJ looked at him knowing out of there group he was the only one that could not hide anything.

"That can't be possible" he muttered as she looked at a very confused JJ and the death glares he was receiving from the rest of his team "I never lose at chess" everyone let out a sigh of relief as Reid spoke.

Emily and the team laughed as Reid spoke as he then piped up knowing that JJ would join in with the card game they were all going to be playing "JJ cheats at cards!" Reid declared.

"JJ does not cheat" Emily said, as she glared dangerously at the young genius "Emily" JJ warned noticing the look that Emily had on her face, she had seen it many times when Emily had spoken to unsubs and when her Mother had annoyed her.

Emily shook herself slightly before looking at him schooling and softening her gaze "Sorry Reid," she said softly

JJ sat back down on the bed as Emily automatically leaned into her solid form. which they all notice Emily try and get even closer as they gathered around to play cards, after a few games and Reid complaining that her and Emily were cheating, Emily closed her eyes slightly as they all quieten down talking among themselves "Jennifer" she murmured, Garcia overheard what she had mumbled and started to usher the boys out the door smiling at JJ "We will call tomorrow" she said as they all headed out the room, leaving the two women alone as Emily moved closer to JJ causing her to blush slightly as she nodded at Garcia, before turning her attention to a very sleepy brunette.


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15**

**Location: Sentara Potomac Hospital**

**Saturday Morning.**

JJ ran her fingers down Emily's side as she whimpered slightly in her sleep, she started whispers softly in her ear trying to calm her slightly, Doctor Grant knocked gently as he walked into the room he placed his fingers to his lips as he checked the tube before smiling "Can you wake her please" He asked, JJ nodded and slowly started to wake a very reluctant women up "Emily sweetheart wake up the doctor needs to speak to you"

"Mmm" Was all she heard "Emily" she tried again as the women mumbled trying to pull the blonde closer. The doctor laughed slightly before speaking in a loud voice "If she doesn't have this out today then she won't be able to be discharged in the next couple of days" they both smirked, JJ slightly chuckled as a half awakened Emily grumbled WHAT!" her eyes snapping to the dark-haired man standing at the foot of the bed.

"That's one way to wake you up" He smiled at his patient "I just need to check the dressings on your chest and remove the tubing which I will have to use a local anaesthetic" Emily still looked at him as though he had three heads as the sleepy fog lifted and she was able to speak "I can go home?"

JJ laughed, "That is the only part you heard?" as she rolled her eyes slightly. "Well, kind of, and what tube?" she asked somewhat confused, "remember I told you before about," JJ shook her head slightly, the doctor walked over to the other side of her, she flinched slightly as he touched the blanket "Sorry" she said softly as she looked at him.

He smiled knowing why. "Oh, my wife does that, cold hands" he smiled as Emily relaxes as he joked. He slowly removed the blanket and yet again Emily averted her eyes away from her mutilated body, she was not able to look. "You will feel a light scratch," He informed her as he injected the anaesthetic into her side. As he waited for the area to go numb he carefully started to remove the dressings as he spoke.

Emily was frozen, it was one thing Kelly doing this, another that JJ had seen her ruined breasts and now a man was, she shuddered lightly as her nails dug into JJ's arm. "Doctor can you just" he saw the fear that con-taught on Emily's face even though her eyes were closed "Em? Look at me" she said softly as shameful eyes looked at her, "Would you rather I" Emily nodded before JJ had chance to finish she looked at the doctor who could see what was exchanging between the two women.

"May I see to the dressings" Her voice firm and sure "I need to check the stitches but you can" He smiled as he took a small step back allowing the smaller woman to take his place, Emily closed her eyes as she felt soft fingers against her skin, the dressings being so gently removed, the doctor checked the stitches under her watchful eyes "They are healing well" He smiled as he touched the area he had injected to which he got no response, JJ applied the fresh dressings, covering her more private areas.

"You may feel a strange pulling sensation but it is nothing to worry about" As he explained this to Emily he managed to remove the tubing without either of them noticing, "Just a couple of stitches and you're all done" He smiled he placed the blanket back over her body and her eyes finally met his.

"How long, till I can go home?" Emily asked, she just wanted out of this place and to not have people coming and going all the time. "You will be in for two more days, then your free to go" he smiled softly as he removed his gloves disposing of them and the tube in the medical waste bin. "Oh, okay, thank you" she muttered.

"Emily what's wrong" JJ asked as the doctor left the room "I just want to go home and not deal with people around me all day" JJ flinched at her words "Oh, I'll, I'm" Emily shook her head "Jennifer, I didn't mean you" she smiled at her friend." Also I like waking up in your arms"

"So, when they finally let you out, are we staying at yours or mine" JJ smiled as she asked the question she had been working on all day, "oh, I hadn't thought of that" Emily admitted she knew she needed someone to stay with her for a while until she was able to manage to wash herself and dress herself. However, the thought of where had never crossed her mind. She debated it over in her mind for a while. JJ watched her seeing the internal debate she was having with herself "I think we should stay at yours more room," JJ said softly as she got back onto the bed.

This time Emily did not ask as JJ automatically wrapped her arm around her waist as she moved closer "Jennifer?" Emily said, JJ smiled "Yes?" "Will, I mean, if I was to" she blushed deeply before continuing "ask you out, would you?" she finally asked JJ pulled her closer as she gently kissed her forehead "Yes" was all she could reply with as she gently peppered light kisses down towards her lips.

Emily moaned softly as their lips touched together "if this is a dream I never want to wake up," she said as she looked in bright blue eyes. "Me either"

Hotch cleared his throat as he walked into the room "Sorry lady's" he smirked as JJ nearly fell off the bed "Hotch! I we were just" JJ stuttered as though she had been caught making out by her mother, Hotch ignored the stuttering blonde as he walked over towards Emily "I hear your getting out of here in a couple of days" He smiled, "yes they said a couple of days" Emily half groaned.

"Well if you write me a list, I can go and get you some food in," Hotch said as he looked at the still deeply blushing blonde. "Are you going to JJ's or to yours?" He asked "Mine" Emily answered, "My keys are" Emily paused slightly "Sir?" Hotch chuckled slightly "What you do in your personal lives is nothing to do with me unless it effects the way the team function's, you have mine" "And mine" Rossi interrupted "Support" Hotch finished

Emily nodded "Thank You, JJ can you?" Emily paused "Hotch I don't know where my" "We found them at his" Rossi said and Hotch nodded "Oh" once again Emily couldn't look either of them in the eyes "Emily" Hotch said in a firm voice, still she looked away "Agent Prentiss" she shuddered slightly as she looked into his steady gaze. "You have no reason to feel or be ashamed" he said firmly "And you do not need to feel embarrassed around myself or the team" he continued "Do I make myself clear" Emily looked into his eyes and she read his body "I…Yes" "It will take time but not one of us will treat you any different" he smiled as JJ handed him the shopping list of the food Emily was allowed.

Emily sighed slightly as the two men left the room "How much of it did they see?" she asked softly "All of it and" JJ paused slightly as she looked softly into deep brown eyes "Jennifer?" JJ looked at her "Emily, he recorded everything he kept them on files. And no I haven't watched them" JJ shook her head pulling Emily closer "I just can't bring myself to watch any of them, what I saw was enough." Emily moved closer into JJ as she felt the slight shuddered breath coming from her as she spoke softly taking hold of her hand the best she could "Shh, Jennifer it's okay sweetie," she wanted to wrap her arms around her as JJ pulled her tight against her

**Early Afternoon.**

Emily jerked awake, startled out a somewhat sound sleep, but she was not sure why or how. She looked around, getting her bearings and trying to locate JJ. The blonde was curled up against her side, whimpering faintly. She sighed inwardly, realizing that the sound must have been what woke her "Shh, Jennifer," she whispered softly, stroking her arm which lay across her waist, "I've got you." The blonde nuzzled against her neck, falling into a deeper, more peaceful sleep.

"Emily," she murmured sleepily, apparently slipping into more pleasant dreams, "they won't stop. Make them stop. They're making me dizzy."

"Yes, sweetheart," she replied quietly, trying to keep from laughing, "I'll make them stop." "Okay"

Emily laid there just watching JJ sleep as she thought about the past few days and everything, which had happened to her and between them, and what she also had got for JJ. She smiled as she remembered the first time she shared one of the truffles with JJ and Garcia.

They were having a blow out after a rough case, they had all piled into Emily's that night after one too many beers at their local bar, "These are the most beautiful things I have every tasted" Emily said as Garcia and JJ looked at her as though she had totally lost her mind "Emily, nothing is that good" "they are better than sex" she retorted as JJ choked on her laughter "Then you have been doing it wrong" she said "Agent Jareau, until you have put one of these on your tongue, well" she blushed deeply as her thoughts got rather rude. She handed JJ and Garcia one each as they both raised an eyebrow at her "Surely they aren't that good" Garcia said as they both placed the truffles into their mouths letting out a small moan when the strawberry and chocolate exploded inside their mouths "Oh..My...God" Garcia said as she moaned, "That shouldn't be legal" JJ said as she closed her eyes letting out a soft moan again. Emily chuckled at the memory.

"What do I do with you?" she murmured, "Let me sleep a little longer" a sleepy voice replied, "Oh, sorry, did I wake you?" Emily asked as JJ woke up and gently moving into a more comfortable position. "No, but you think too much" JJ moved closer to Emily as she helped the older woman rest her good arm over her, so Emily could place her head on her chest since she always seemed more comfortable that way as both women drifted back to sleep.

**Early Hours, Sunday Morning.**

"Mm..." Emily murmured, coming out of a very deep sleep to find her-self-pressing into warmth, warmth that somehow snaked around to her front. The source of that heat mumbled in return, she was torn between blushing and grinning and settled for doing both.

"Jennifer," she called softly, laughing to herself when she grumbled sleepily and held on to her more tightly. She whispered again. "Jennifer, it's time to wake up." Again, all she got for her troubles were a soft, sleepy grumble and a leg tossed over hers, which clearly intended to keep her from moving, Emily stretched under the arm holding her, prompting the hand attached to it to take a more solid, possessive hold on the flesh it gripped. Despite herself, she gasped, drawing JJ into the waking world since words alone had not.

"Emily?" JJ said her voice groggy and confused, "What's wrong? Are you okay?" "I'm fine," she assured her quickly, although some part of her argued that 'fine' wasn't exactly the word for what she was, "You with me now?"

"Mm-hmm," She agreed sleepily, less interested in wakefulness now that she had established Emily was not hurt or in distress, "Why are you awake, Emily? It's too early in the morning!"

"Jennifer, sweetheart, I'd love to stay in bed with you as long as you'd like," she replied carefully, all too aware of how true that was, "but I'm afraid if you keep doing what you're doing, there's no way we're seeing or speaking to anyone else today. And you also may get kicked out of the hospital" "Huh?"

She brushed her hand against where Jennifer's was tracing under her nightshirt, blushing hotly as the calloused fingertips reached the base of her breast again and started working their way up and around it. She had woken to find her breast had been claimed by a very possessive Jennifer Jareau.

"Oh... God... Emily..." the blonde stuttered when she finally realized what her hand was doing to the older woman, who by that time had lost much of her will to argue the point. The realization had come at the tail end of a soft moan, and the profiler could feel the heat of a dark blush burning her neck where her friends face was buried.

"I don't want to ask you to stop," she managed to murmur honestly, despite what most of her really wanted to say or do, "I would kind of prefer you didn't... But" Emily sighed softly "Dressings, stitches and pain killer's maybe a good thing right now!"

Emily shivered as the hand in her shirt abruptly stopped and started to withdraw, and then hesitated, still touching the bare skin of her abdomen. "Emily, I..."

"It's all right," she broke in, quick to reassure her , she understood what had happened, "You can't control what your unconscious self does, Jennifer... and I can't exactly say I didn't like where that was going." Her thoughts trailed of somewhat. "Emily let me check your dressings" she replied rather concerned, she nodded as JJ reluctantly slid off the bed to check for any damage she may have caused breathing in relief she smiling at the somewhat embarrassed brunette "No damage" she grinned.

**Sunday Morning.**

JJ had finally stopped worrying that she had done damage to said area which she had at some point in the night claimed, she was just about to apologise again as Emily cut in "Do I need to sedate you Jennifer?" in her most professional voice she could manage which in fact came out as though she had been smoking 60 woodbines a day.

"Emily? When did I start to become Jennifer to you?" She finally managed to ask; it was not as though she did not mine it, for some reason, the way Emily said her name made her shiver inside. "I just...Well..." Emily paused for a while and looked rather perplexed at the smaller blonde as she just wasn't sure why or how let alone remember calling her Jennifer, ducking her head slightly she sighed softly "I'm sorry" she mumbled not meeting her eyes.

JJ smiled "No need for sorry and I really don't mind, you just only seem to do it when we are alone" she said honestly, making Emily back tracked to when in fact she started calling her Jennifer. For the life of her, she just could not pinpoint or remember when it started. "You don't?" she asked pulling herself out of her thoughts

JJ smirked slightly as she moved over to were the bags were place with the presents not even replying to her question, JJ frowned as she pulled them out the bag, which Elizabeth had bought there on the gift cards bold as day was her name "To Emily love Jennifer" She frown not recognising the writing "when did" she stopped mid-sentence as a voice disturbed from her confused thoughts "Jennifer what's wrong" she asked, shaking her head slightly "remind me to write a big thank you letter to your Mother" she blushed slightly as she took hold of the bed controls so Emily could sit up.

Emily frowned slightly "what did my Mother do?" she enquired, JJ smiled softly "Oh she just" she paused as she placed the bag on her bed, she handed her the card that her Mother had wrote. Emily struggled to open it, though she refused to ask for help, JJ chuckled slightly as she watched "you're so stubborn" Emily grumbled, "no I'd just like my fingers to be useful" she laughed as the words fell from her lips, as JJ turned bright red. "Yes!" Emily grinned as she finally managed to open the card

"**To my dearest Emily, I hope you recover soon, I hope I didn't offend Jennifer. If yourself and Jennifer have not by now sorted yourselves out.**

**I will disown you and so will Sarah for letting a lovely lady such as her slip away, I am so proud of you I know I don't tell you often enough,**

**Remember Emily, you can let someone in without your world falling apart,**

**Love, Mother X"**

Emily eyes watered as she read the card the words her Mother had said. "Emily?" a somewhat concerned JJ said as she watched the play of emotions cast over her face, shaking her head softly she smiled "Sometimes my Mother" she held the card out for her to read.

"Oh, I" JJ chuckles "She has a good point" "aren't you the one who normally runs when someone gets too close Jennifer?" Emily raised her eyebrow as to challenge the other woman "No I am just picky" she retorted. "Is that what people are calling it these days?" Emily joked. "And maybe you will pull all them walls down for me one day" JJ said softly "Right I have presents for you" She said changing the conversation quickly.

She gently placed four items on to the table, which she pulled over the bed, blushing slightly as Emily read one of the gift tags "Jennifer! when did you" "I didn't" she smiled "Thank your Mother" she chuckled, Emily took her time opening each one gasping as she held up a set for matching underwear "Did, who, when?" she stuttered out "Hotch, Garcia and your Mother sent them" JJ chuckled as Emily turned red at the thought of Hotch picking these out for her "Oh!" "I think Pen got them" she smiled as Emily started to open the next one, grinning widely as she opened it to reveal her favourite perfume "Jennifer" she whispered, "thank you" JJ smiled back softly "Your welcome" Emily frowned slightly as she read the card that was attached to the next gift "Em?"

Shaking the thoughts from her mind she read it allowed "For when your thoughts get too much" no name written on it, she opened it slightly wary before smiling as a leather-bound dairy appeared.

JJ asked to look at the note and chuckled when she saw the handwriting "Rossi" she murmured, "Jennifer, can you pass me the bag that is under my bed?" Emily asked as she ran her fingers down the smooth leather book. JJ retrieved the bag that had been hidden under what looked to be a thick coat. "This the bag?" she asked holding it up "That would be the bag"

JJ handed over the bag "Emily you haven't opened the card" JJ smiled "Oh, I didn't see it" this caused JJ to laugh "You mean you didn't seen a big pink envelope sticking out under the boxes" she joked, Emily blushed as she started to open the card, grinning as she read it "To my special friend" which had Emily giggling "Garcia" she laughed out knowing that only their brightly coloured friend would pick out a big me to you card that had "To my special friend" on the front and inside "Because I love you, Jennifer"

JJ had the good sense to blush deeply as she read the words aloud, "Thank you" she smiled, "can you…" she paused as JJ saw what she was trying to do "Would it be easier just to sit the bag on the table" she teased helping her place it so it wouldn't fall, Emily rolled her eyes slightly as she carefully pulled out one of the presents for JJ she grinned as she watched her open it, "Truffles" she half moaned "Mmm, better than sex"

Emily chuckled slightly "Didn't you once tell me I was doing it wrong when I said that" she teased the blonde "That was before I placed it on my tongue and was blown away with the taste" she said as she moaned slightly at the thought of the truffles running down her throat "Morgan doesn't believe us" Emily joked.

"He's a man, her would never understand the just heavenly flavour these induce on someone's senses" placing the truffles down she opened the next present, JJ looked at the small box and shook it slightly "Careful might break" Emily chuckled as JJ was acting like a big child, she carefully removed the wrapping which revealed a small box she gently opened it letting out a small gasp as she ran her finger gently over the sliver necklace "It's beautiful" she smiled as she looked at Emily with unshed tears "It's too much" she whispered "Nothing is too much for you" she said honestly.

"It's just my way of saying thank you and well" Emily paused again as she blushed. JJ leaned slightly over her looking into her eyes. "I know" she let a small smile ghost her lips before pulling Emily into a soft kiss.


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16**

**Location: Sentara Potomac Hospital**

**Sunday Morning.**

"Jay" she stopped mid-sentence and looked at the peaceful sleeping blonde that was wrapped somewhat around Emily's form, Emily looked up to where the noise had come from as she shook her head "How long she been asleep?" Garcia whispered "About an hour" keeping their voices low as to not disturb the sleeping blonde Emily tried to smile, which failed "How you doing, really Emily?" she asked looking straight into her eyes.

"I don't know" she murmured, slightly tensing and gripping the blonde at her side, which made the sleeping blonde stir slightly "Mmm Emily" Garcia chuckled softly "She talking in her sleep again "She has been doing it a lot" Emily said somewhat sadly "Emily what is it" she tried again as Emily's walls went back up, the only person Emily had opened up to was Morgan, he was her partner and always had her sixth "I'm fine" she said weakly "That's bull" came the gruff voice making both women look at who had spoken.

She tensed slightly at his words, which he noticed as he smiled knowing she would talk to him in time "Morning princess" he beamed at the two women, and a now grumpy blonde who had been disturbed "Can you all just shut up" came the sleepy voice that belonged to a rather grumpy JJ

"Jen…JJ" Emily stumbled over her words "be nice" causing the two others in the room to giggle, "she never was great in the morning" Garcia said in a chirpy voice as JJ lifted her head up scowling at her friend "and can we also, not do this today" she mumbled as she had heard half of what she had asked as she glared at Garcia "Sorry" she mouthed.

Morgan felt the tension that had somehow formed in the room as he spoke "I have gifts" he smirked as Emily rolled her eyes speaking softly "shouldn't you all be" she paused slightly "with your" again she stopped "family!" making a now familiar voice speak a little too loud "I thought that was what we were" Rossi said as he walked into the room.

She smiled as softly as she could, suddenly feeling very uncomfortable under the watch full eyes of her friends "Guys can we just" JJ cut in as she started to get up off the bed. Brown eyes watched her move as JJ got the bed controls moving the bed up so Emily could sit up "thanks, JJ"

Just as a very bouncy child ran into the room making everyone jump and Emily wince slightly "Emily" he shouted into the room followed by a very harassed Hotch "Jack, keep your voice down, please" he said softly, he eyed Emily up for a moment before he walked over to the bed "Daddy said your poorly" he said a little sadly, for all the will in the world Emily smiled warmly at Jack "I'll be better soon" she said as he tried to climb onto the bed "Jack be careful, Emily is very sore" as he looked apologetic at her "So I made you a card to help you feel better" Jack beamed as he held out the card which was of Daddy and Emily couldn't make out what else he had drawn "Thank you" she smiled as JJ placed the card on the table next to the others "Can I have chocolate now?" he asked a very bemused looking Emily.

Hotch walked over to his son and Emily, as he spoke softly picking Jack up off the bed "I can't stay long" he admitted as he placed the gift on the table "I picked it" Jack grinned happily, Emily looked at JJ as she tried but her fingers failed to open it, looking back no words were said as JJ helped unwrap the gift which was a lovely snowball of the capital "thank you" she smiled at Jack "We best go" Hotch said as Jack reached down to hug Emily, which made her wince as he caught her chest.

"You okay?" JJ whispered knowing that Jack had in fact caught the stitches causing her a lot of pain as she forced a smile onto her face "Just fine"

Morgan handed her his present as a very wary Emily eyed it up before looking at him "It won't bite" he smirked "You have said that to me before" Emily muttered as she remembered when he had last given her a present which she managed to get her finger caught in causing her to curse at him. "Wasn't my fault you poked it before you opened it" he retorted which cause two confused women to look at them both "You're the one who took it out the box put batteries in it"

"Morgan what the hell did you buy her?" Garcia said as JJ's mind went very deep into the gutter at the comments said "just _Electric Shock_ Memory _Game" he smirked "which hurt like hell when I poked it" she grumbled, "well at least it was only your finger" he joked which made her and JJ tense, "Shit, Emily I didn't" she shook her head "it's okay" she was getting sick of people walking on eggshells with her even though she knew she hadn't and wouldn't deal with it yet._

_She unwrapped it somewhat gingerly and half her fingers didn't want to co-operate with her "Wow!" she gasped as a seemly trashy romance novel was in front of her, he smirked "see I do listen to you" he mocked, "and there I was thinking you just agreed with me to shut me up" Emily grinned. __**'These two shared more than I thought'**__ JJ thought to herself as she looked between them both. "And you can repay me later" he winked._

"JJ comes for a walk with me?" Garcia asked after watching Morgan look seriously at Emily, "I am sure these two can be trusted to be alone together" JJ nodded before looking at Emily "You'll be okay?" she asked, Emily chuckled slightly "We have been left alone before and for long periods" Morgan said at a now blushing blonde, "Go on" Emily smiled as the two women walked out the room leaving her alone with Morgan.

"So Prentiss how are you really?" he asked in a very serious tone "Short or long version?" she asked, she trusted Morgan with her life her secrets her worry's and mainly everything and she trusted him to not let her get hurt. "Either works for me" he said as he sat in the chair next to her.

Emily sighed as she tried to put words to her thoughts "Did, do you" she sighed loudly "No I don't" he said "I could never look at you any different you're like a sister to me" he smiled "Why can't you let her see you Em?" he asked the concern on his face "That's the problem she has seen me" "No that's not what I asked and you know it" she frowned slightly "You don't let her see you, the scars are going to be there, and that won't change, but Emily your heart hasn't, don't push her away to protect yourself or to protect each other it's just wrong"

"I just, it's that" she stumbled over her words again as the fear showed on her face, "Emily she won't judge you and you of all people should know that" he smiled "Now tell me details" he grinned, Emily stared at him "we've kissed and that's it, Morgan this is new to me and you know how I feel about her, I just hope it's not pity" she finally admitted, he rolled his eyes "for a profiler you can be really thick at times Prentiss" he mocked her "have you never noticed how she looks at you" he raised his eyebrow before carrying on "Em if those eyes could undress you, you'd be naked in the bullpen everyday" she blushed as he grinned at the thought of her naked "Morgan" she warned "don't go there" "Sorry!" he ducked his head slightly "Can you blame me?" he chuckled, she shook her head slightly "Boys!" she mocked.

Just as JJ and Garcia returned, JJ looked between them both seeing the worried look on Emily's face before the walls came back up "What have you said to her" JJ demanded as she glared at him dangerously "He hasn't done anything" Emily said a little stronger than she had been "I just want to go home" she pouted, tomorrow just couldn't come fast enough.

**Sunday Afternoon**

"Em, what were you and Morgan talking about?" JJ finally asked her as everyone had now left them alone "Oh, nothing" she muttered "Okay" her voice somewhat hurt "Not here JJ" was all Emily could say, she really didn't want to have this conversation which may result in her being left alone in a hospital.

"Jen...JJ?" she muttered "Yes?" "Help me get up? Please?" she asked a somewhat reluctant blonde "are you sure you should be" she faltered realising that Emily would know if she was able to stand on her own two feet. "Rather try while we are alone," she admitted

"Can I at least check with Kelly, that it's okay for you to get up?" she asked looking slightly concerned at her now very guarded friend, the walls had come back up and Emily had now retreated somewhat into her mind

Emily's expression was still soft but the walls were back up as she started to flinch slightly when JJ touched her, she saw the hurt look in her eyes, but she just couldn't help it. What Morgan had asked her, had her doubting herself and questioning how JJ could care so much after everything.

Everything had changed so much and so fast; she had gone back to being **'JJ'** and not **'Jennifer'** and for some reason it hurt like a knife in her heart. Just what had happened in that hour? She asked herself as she walked out of the room.

JJ sighed slightly as she walked out to the nurses' station to speak to Kelly, who agreed to come into the room and help Emily try to stand. "Don't try and push yourself too fast" she warned, they were still unsure just how much her balance and strength had been effect.

Kelly helped her swing her legs over the side of the bed, Emily gasped slightly as her legs touched and the stitches rubbed against each other at the top of her thighs "Son of a" she stopped as more walls slammed down inside her. JJ went to help her up which was swiftly rebuffed by a now very closed off and guarded Emily.

"Sorry" she mumbled as she back off from away from her, as her heart broke a little more, as the words fell from her lips "I'll wait outside" she whispered as she gathered herself and retreated to the corridor not giving Emily or Kelly chance to say anything.

Emily kicked herself mentally as she started to push everyone away and push JJ further away from her; she just did not want to be hurt or pitied by anyone and especial not from JJ. The words played in her mind "Why can't you let her see you" played repeatedly as she struggled to find her feet, on what were now very shaky legs, which nearly gave way underneath her

"You can wait if you want and try later" Kelly said she knew something had changed and Emily seemed to be fighting herself and everyone that was near her, as Emily replied in not such a nice tone "I can do it" she hissed out.

Today of all days the terror of everything that had happened hit her like a ten ton brick and she couldn't do anything to stop it, there were no compartments she could hide it away in. There was only anger and fear as she tried to keep her balance before her legs gave out, luckily, she was still next to the bed, which caught her as she fell. Kelly smiled sadly at the woman who had seemed to be doing so well, and no had retreated away from the world.

"Just what the hell did you say to her Morgan" JJ said with a very venomous fire in her voice "Nothing" he defended himself "You must have, she can't even look at me, so much so I am stood in a corridor while someone else helps her get out of bed" she shouted into the phone just as the build-up of tears she had been holding back exploded into a somewhat shocked Morgan's ears "JJ I didn't, I don't know"

Morgan scratched his head as he motioned to a now very curious Garcia as he placed the phone to her ears and listen to a very teary and by the sounds of it heartbroken JJ. She grabbed the keys and dragged Morgan out the door as he tried his best to calm her down.

JJ found herself outside the hospital, making her way to the bench she sat down in the cold, just trying to work out what has happened. **'Maybe she doesn't want me'** she thought to herself as she sobbed. Garcia saw her friend as they pulled up "Morgan give me your coat" there JJ was sat outside with nothing more than a t-shirt on.

She shivered into herself as the voice startled her "You trying to catch your death woman?" Garcia asks as she wrapped a thick coat around her "JJ!" she said softly as JJ gave no response "Jayj?" she tried again "I blew it Pen" she sighed slightly her eyes bloodshot from crying "I should never have told her" she lean into her best friend as she wrapped her arms tight around her "Shh JJ, we will get to the bottom of this" she said softly "Pen, how did you" "Morgan" she cut in, shaking her head as she looked up to just find her and Garcia alone

"Where is he?" she asked, "Where do you think, he is the only one that can get through that thick skull of hers" Garcia said as JJ looked at her in shock "No! Garcia! He just, no" she shook her head "Me and you are going to grab some food and then we will go see her and JJ she opens up to him more than any of us knew" she said honestly.

Morgan leant against the door frame as he studied a very closed off Emily who seemed to be lost in her own world, clearing his throat as he walked in "Are you a total idiot Prentiss?" which earned him daggers which he brushed off "You really want to push her so far away that you lose yourself?"

Morgan knew her he could read her better than most but that was what a partner had to do, they had to know each other inside out and these two did, as she scowled at him "Leave it" she said curtly

"So you want me to leave you to brood in your own misery?" he asked before adding, "Just clarify that for me?" He was pushing her buttons trying to get her to break and he knew how to do it all too well "You want to shut everyone out because you might get hurt, so instead, you wrap yourself, so tightly into yourself, I am surprised you can breathe" he said a little coldly

"Morgan I am warning you," she said somewhere between hurt and angry "You can't keep running and if you want to run you will be alone, maybe you like being alone, and brooding, which I might add isn't a good look" his face had no emotion, very unreadable for Emily to even know why he was pushing her.

She turned her head away from him, as she closed her eyes. "Seriously Emily, do you not see what you are doing to yourself?" this got her attention somewhat "I am not doing anything" her voice very detached from her "Are you not seeing what you are doing to JJ?" he said a little softer

"I am doing nothing to her" she half shouted "No you're not, you are just playing with her emotions and ripping her heart out, why don't you just kick her instead, it would be far less painful" Morgan half growled

"You are not the only person suffering here, I know what has happened to you is awful and if I could change it I would, but I can't, but I won't sit back and watch you hit the damn self-destruct button, that you seem so hell bent on pressing"

She sighed internally "Morgan, Just" "No! Emily! You have to let someone in sometimes and right now her heart is breaking and I cannot watch you do this, to yourself to JJ and let alone to each other" the worry evident in his voice "You love her, what's the problem" he asked

"You asked me why I can't let her see me" her voice full of unshed tears "She has seen me" Morgan furrowed his brow slightly "Then what is it?" "I can't even….I haven't" her words came out as a stuttering sob as she tried to explain. "You really think she is going to look at you different?" he frowned slightly "Prentiss, that girl doesn't know how to look at you any other way, other than undress you with her eyes" the tears fell as he spoke "I look horrible" she blurted out.

Morgan rolled his eyes "Don't get on the self-pity train, or I will find a nice 2x4 and smack you with it" he joked slightly. Emily half smiled at his attempted at a joke "She'd kill you, if you did that" she admitted "Emily if you keep pushing her away, you will wake up one day and she will be gone" he said firmly as Emily just realised how she had been with her "Oh, God! What have I done Morgan" she looked at him as the tears rolled down her face. "Em you've hurt her" He admitted "And only you can fix it" he smiled weakly at her "talk to her," he whispered softly as he heard two very familiar voices coming down the corridor.


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17**

**Location: Sentara Potomac Hospital**

**Late Sunday Afternoon**

Emily looked at Morgan slightly wide eyed as she heard the very noticeable voice of Garcia and JJ "what do I say?" she murmured to him "That you're an idiot would be a good place to start" he mocked her.

Just as JJ and Garcia walked through the door, Unsure brown eyes met hurt blues eyes, it broke her heart she had caused this, she had hurt her and for the life of her, she did not know how to fix it or even start.

"Well!" Garcia said as she looked at Morgan, who smiled softly taking her arm and leading back out of the room before she could say anything else "Derek Morgan!" she choked has he got out of ear shot of the room "they need to talk, not have you yell at her" he said in a soft voice "You think they'll make it" he half smiled "She's got a long way to go babygirl, she's hurting a lot" was all he said as they left the hospital.

"Jay.." she stopped slightly unsure as what to say "When did I stop being Jennifer" the hurt in her voice hitting Emily like a knife, she sighed as she tried to meet her eyes but failing "I'm sorry" she mumbled "I.." JJ looked sadly at her for a moment.

"Do you want me to go?" she asked trying to keep herself together as Emily started to say something "Morgan asked why I don't let you see me" she looked down and then away, she couldn't look at her it hurt too much, "That's the problem you have seen me" "Why is that a problem Emily?" JJ asked a little confused "There is... part I keep hidden" she sighed as she struggled to keep herself together.

"If I open them up if I let that part of me go and you see it" she turned and looked into sad blue eyes "It's the part I hate about me, I hate that you care, I hate that I need you to care, I hate the fact that I can't bare my own skin" JJ frowned slightly as Emily rambled.

"I'm dirty" she finally let out in a heart wrenching sob, JJ stared for a moment as the words finally registered with her "Emily" she moved closer as the brunette broke, her face and persona that everyone saw was gone, her feelings and emotions that she kept so tightly wound in, were naked in front of a very concerned JJ "Emily" she tried again.

Her eyes were empty as she sobbed uncontrollably, her fingers dug into her skin as she tried to wrap very sore arms around herself "J….Jennifer" she said in a rush "Look at me sweetie " she said softly, she still hurt but she was understanding, what and why Emily had pushed.

She couldn't look she didn't deserve to she mocked herself, her pity party, herself hatred, was showing and she was raw, she was broken, scared and more than anything she was dirty in her eyes "How can you" she shook her head trying to clear her mind but finding no release, no escape away from what was coming.

"Emily, please look at me" her voice conveyed every emotion every fear as she spoke, deep blank eyes looked at her as though she was standing on the edge of the abyss and couldn't find her way.

It was as if any moment any touch she was shatter and that scared her, she had never seen Emily so hurt so distant, no express or light in her eyes, she slowly made her way over to her watching her as she did, she carefully touched her so softly on her arm it was like a feather running against her skin.

Emily was trapped, trapped in her mind, in her thoughts, in the darkness; she just did not know how to come out of it. She looked at the fingers that were so softly touching her it made her flinch slightly "Shh" she whispered as she moved closer "come back to me Em" JJ said softly as she gently cupped her uninjured cheek.

"I'm not running" she said softly "I'm right here" she murmured as she wrapped her arm around a very broken Emily "I've got you" she said as she ran her fingers though her hair pulling Emily closer to her.

As she pulled Emily closer, finally resting a very distant Emily on her chest it came out a though a tidal wave had erupted around them, she broke her heart as she clung on as though her life depended on it, crying uncontrollably and even JJ knew there was nothing she could do to comfort her, only hold her so she didn't fall more. "You're okay Emily, You're okay," she whispered as she held her tight and as close to her as she could.

She had never seen Emily so vulnerable as she was right now, no walls, no compartments for her to hide away from the world, she was vacant, empty, But JJ only saw this as strength as trust, Emily had taken her walls down whether she meant to or not.

JJ carried on holding her tight rocking her back and forth in comfort as she played with her hair lovingly "Come back to me Em" she whispered "I'm not going anywhere" she promised. Slowly the sobs slowed into more of a hiccup as she tried to stop herself from being too open. "Sorry" she as the sobs slowed, she instinctively went to pull away but one word made her stop "don't" JJ said softly as she held onto her tighter*

She tried to clear her mind, her thoughts but she was numb and full of shame "forgive me" she whispered so softly JJ only just managed to hear it "Shh" as she rocked them both slowly waiting for Emily to come fully back to her and not this shell of herself that she had become.

JJ knew she'd have dark days when the memories became too much, she just wasn't ready for it when it happened, it had been such a great day, and now Emily was holding onto her as though her life soul depended on her holding her, grounding her, as though she alone were stopping the nightmare taking her fully.

"J...en…nifer" she stuttered out between the heaving of her chest as the sobs died down "I've got you" Emily sighed softly as she tried to keep from falling again, "you got a little lost in there" she said softly as Emily nodded against her, though the walls never came back up, which JJ was grateful for.

"talk to me" JJ asked softly "tell me" Emily knew what she was asking and she shivered slightly against her "Shh" she whispered feeling her shivers "when you're ready, okay" Emily nodded still not ready to move, for right now she felt grounded and safe and the memories where at bay.

Gently JJ managed to get Emily to lay down even though she never fully let go of her as she climbed onto the bed pulling Emily close to her "Just rest Em" she said softly as she ran her fingers through Emily's hair "Close your eyes" she whispered "I'll be here when you wake" she promised as Emily relaxed into her touches and body drifting off to sleep, JJ closed her eyes as she too let the slumber claim her.

**Monday Morning.**

JJ woke feeling more tired than she had this whole last week she was drained, both physically and emotionally, and part of her knew it was not going to get any better anytime soon, but she was there.

She was in it for the long haul, but getting a very scared and emotional Emily to see this, she shook the thoughts from her mind. Hoping that when the brunette woke the walls that she hid behind would still be down for her and that maybe she would let her in and help her.

Today only two things could happen as far as JJ was concerned and they were either she would be shut out or let in and she really hoped for the latter.

Carefully she climbed off the bed and quietly walked into the bathroom, turning the taps on, as she waited for the water to warm she looked in the mirror, she studied herself. Sighing softly **'this is going to be hard' **she muttered to herself

As she stripped off and stepped into the lovely warm shower, letting the water run over her as though it was cleaning and healing wounds no one could see, a moan escaped her lips as her muscles relaxed under the spray.

She started to think back to what Elizabeth had said **'don't hurt her'** she could never hurt Emily she shook her head slightly as the blank look that had fallen in Emily's eyes came into her mind as though she could see her right now, she had seen that look before, hell her in her job she saw it every day,

She had even seen it in herself once. She shook her head as her mind turned back to when Emily had found her in that barn and when she walked into the bathroom, she could have shot her that day. All she could hear were them dogs and I could have sworn I seen one in that mirror was the snarling dogs, but when she turned round it was Emily.

No judgement was in her face no questions were ever asked and she could understand how she could just accept that I could have shot her because I could not see passed them dogs.

Her mind went back to Emily's Mother again, as the water ran over her face, how could I hurt her, how could anyone hurt her? There was something behind the comment something she could not pick out but the way she said it made her think Emily had been hurt badly in the past.

Slowly she turned the taps off before stepping out of the shower, slowly drying herself before finally getting ready, **'At least she was going home today'** she mumbled to herself.

Wrapping the towel around the base of her neck so her top did not get wet, she opened the door and stepped back into the room, where she could hear silent mumbles coming from.

Slowly she walked over to the bed, gently moving the hair that had fallen over Emily's face behind her ear as Emily continued to mumble.

Caught between a dream and where she really was Emily's mind thought its-self as she struggled to work out what she was truly afraid of **'she's seen me'** she mumbled **'seen mutilated parts'** she frowned at the thought of her body and what it had become **'she's touched me'** a soft sigh slipped from her lips **'wish they were real touches'** she mumbled **'I just can't look at me'** it came out in a sigh, as she felt something rock her shoulder slightly

"Shh Em, it's okay, wake up" JJ said as she could partly work out what Emily had been mumbling about and she knew if she didn't wake her now Emily would keep trying to punish herself, even in her dreams. "Emily it's time to wake up" she whispered into her ear "you can go home today" she carried on trying to wake her.

Waking Emily Prentiss up was never an easy task, you could light a car bomb off and she would sleep through it, JJ had learnt this early on and she also learnt that Emily could wake up and think the person who was waking her was an unsub, which Morgan had explained once when Emily had given him a black eye.

"Em….Wake up" she said slightly louder as another mumble slipped from her lips **'I'm scared'** "Emily" she said more firm,** 'baby' **JJ frowned slightly, yes here Emily was mumbling to herself in her sleep **'how do I'** "Open your eyes Em" JJ tried again as she rocked her a little firmer.

"Mmm" she murmured as she finally started to wake though not fully "Emily I have coffee" She tried again "Mmm" was all the response she got, she rolled her eyes slightly "Emily!" "Mmm...Hey" JJ shook her head slightly "Finally, waking up there Prentiss!" JJ scoffed slightly, as dull brown eyes slowly opened, "You say something about coffee?"

JJ giggled slightly "Oh, you heard that part" she rolled her eyes as Emily became more awake, there was a blankness still in her, her walls weren't up and right now she weren't sure if that was a good thing or bad thing "Oh. Sorry" Emily said shyly as the sleepy haze was lifting from her eyes.

JJ half smiled at her, their eyes not fully meeting as Emily started to stretch slightly, "I'm sorry Jennifer" deep sad eyes look straight at her, it was like JJ was able to see her soul the deepness in her eyes the pain, her walls hadn't gone back up, JJ smiled softly, yes she was still hurt and confused slightly, but she also knew that once they were out of this hospital they would talk and hopefully Emily would open up and hopefully let her in.

There was a knock on the door as both woman turned to see who it was Kelly walked into the room "Good morning" she smiled carrying the tray in "I brought you both some breakfast and coffee" she said softly as she placed the tray on the table.

"Thank you" Emily said softly never meeting her gaze, she was to raw and to open, and yet she didn't want to shut herself off, she tried that last night and because of it she had hurt JJ, so she kept her eyes downcast for that reason, she didn't want to feel or be seen as weak and broken.

JJ smiled softly at Kelly "Thank you, Is she going to be allowed home today?" JJ got straight to the point. "Hopefully by this afternoon" she replied "Thank you" she smiled, "Right well I will let you lady's eat and I will be back soon to check your dressings and to remove the catheter" she said softly before leaving the room.

She watched Emily for a moment before sitting down near her "Jennifer?" Emily said somewhat unsurely "Yes?" "Can you, would you" she stumbled over the words, JJ stayed still and quiet as she waited for her to work out what she was trying to say.

"Can you help me?" she asked weakly, JJ smiled softly at her as she gently took hold of her hand "Okay", Emily closed her eyes slightly as she turned to look at her, "Please" she said as she opened her eyes and looked straight into JJ's

JJ broke her heart, she could see the turmoil the hurt the fear in them and laid out for her to see, no walls were up, she was open or as open as Emily could be right now, she smiled softly as she picked up the cup and held it to her lips.

**Late Monday Morning.**

They had both finished their breakfast and JJ had started to pack things away into their bags, nothing was said and there was an uneasy silence that had fallen between them both, Emily was to raw and exposed and JJ just waited for her to push her away again.

"Jennifer?" she said softly, JJ looked at her for a moment and nodded slightly "yeah?" "Are you still" she paused and looked down at her hands, she didn't deserve her kindness not after the idiot she had been, but also she was scared to be alone and right now she felt she had no right to ask, she fell silent picking at the invisible lint that seemed to appear on her covers.

JJ stood up and walk slowly over to her "I'm I still?" she pushed, Emily looked at her sadly the walls fully down, JJ felt she could peer right into her soul. They were both pulled out there thoughts at the sound of a now very familiar woman.

"I just come to change your dressings and run through your care and also I've put a rush on your medication so hopefully you should be out of here by 1pm," Kelly said brightly as she wheeled the trolley over towards the bed.

Emily closed her eyes slightly as she tensed up "Shall I?" JJ started but was cut off straight away "Jennifer, don't go please" her voice held so much emotion in it that even Kelly stopped her movements, JJ smiled softly "Okay" she walked back towards Emily and ran her fingers through her hair, Emily leaned into the touch slightly.

"I just need to lift the blanket" Kelly said as she slowly lifted the covers off her and opening the buttons on her top, Emily shivered slightly as she tried to get closer to JJ "please" she whimpered "Emily?" JJ said so softly and very concerned, Kelly started to gently remove the dressings, which caused Emily to flinch badly "Emily?" "Please!" the tears laden in her voice,

JJ frowned slightly as Kelly backed away from a shivering Emily, JJ spoke very softly and moved slowly "Em, do you want" JJ never finished as she saw Emily nodding as though her head was on a springboard and nodding of its own-accord.

JJ gave Kelly an apologetic look as she walked around the bed to the trolley "You're okay if I do it" it was a question but one that didn't really need to be asked as JJ gently took over, she flinched slightly as JJ removed the dressings on her chests her eyes closed, as JJ hummed softly as she cleaned around them.

She dried around the stitches and moved slightly so that Kelly could look at them before she re-dressed them, gently she fastened up the buttons before pulling the covers back over. Emily stayed still and quiet through it all.

"JJ I need to remove the catheter and" she paused as they both saw Emily shake. "Emily" JJ said softly giving Kelly a weak smile as she did, "Do you want Kelly to take the catheter out" she paused as she wait for Emily to respond, she nodded as JJ continued "She needs to change the dressing and clean" JJ froze as Emily shook her head violently never making a sound as she did.

Kelly watched, **'she had been doing so well up until last** night' she thought to herself "Emily it needs to be checked and clean" she said softly as she run her fingers gently through Emily hair "You" JJ frowned slightly "Me?" she said slightly puzzled before Kelly cut in "Emily, if I remove the catheter, will you let JJ clean around your stitches and place a fresh dressing on?" JJ looked at Kelly and then back at Emily who was now nodding in response.

"Okay" she smiled, JJ whispered to Emily as Kelly removed the catheter as gently as she could as Emily let out a small gasp when the tube was removed "All done Emily" Kelly said "Okay Em I'm just going to" she paused as she started to very gently remove the dressings that covered her core.

She gently cleaned the area placing a smaller dressing on than before, which meant Emily, could go to the toilet, "All done sweetie" she said as she covered her back over. "Thank you" Emily whispered but still she did not open her eyes.

"JJ can I have a word please?" Kelly said softly as she started to move the trolley out of the room, JJ nodded "Emily, I won't be long okay" Emily slowly opened her eyes turning to look at JJ she nodded before turning her head slightly away again.

JJ followed Kelly out into the corridor "JJ is everything alright?" Kelly asked "She just had a rough night that's all" JJ said she knew why Emily we so jumpy, "Are you sure, because if she isn't we need to know, it will" "Kelly I promise she is fine and she will do a lot better once she is home" JJ smiled softly "Is that all?" she asked and Kelly nodded as JJ walked back into the room.

Closing the door softly behind her she walked over toward Emily "Je...nni...fer" she stuttered out softly "Em, look at me" she shook her head slightly "I'm sorry" her voice so broken so raw, JJ wasn't sure what to do she had never seen Emily like this.

She walked over to her running her fingers through her hair "Emily" "Forgive me?" JJ lowered her head and kissed Emily gently on the forehead "Sweetie we will talk when we get home okay" she said sincerely "We are just waiting on the medication and then we can go I am going to ring Morgan to come so he can give us a ride to yours" JJ said soft but firm

"You sure you want to, I mean" JJ smiled sadly "Em I can't say you didn't hurt me, because you did, but I also wouldn't walk away from you, over that" JJ sighed softly as Emily looked at her and shook her head "I don't deserve you" as she looked away

"I think the sooner we are both out of this hospital the better and then if you're up to it we will talk, no rush, no pressure, whenever you are ready, Okay?" Emily nodded "Okay" JJ smiled "Just let me ring Morgan" she picked up her phone as Emily gripped her arm gently "Jennifer, before you ring him can" she blushed deeply "Help me dress?"

JJ smiled softly as she placed her phone back down "Of course I can" JJ helped her sit up pulling out a clean baggy top and pants for her to wear, she gently undid her top before removing it, helping her to zip up the top she had found, since anything that could go over Emily's head, was a no go, as it would burst the stitches.

JJ gently cupped her cheek to get her to look at her instead of at the wall behind her "Don't shut me out okay" Emily smiled weakly at her as she spoke "How can you look and not be repulsed?" she asked honestly causing JJ to frown deeply at her

"Emily, you think because of this" she motioned her hands to her chest and lower body "I'd turn away and never look at you again?" she shook her head slightly "I'm dirty" there it was that word again **'dirty'** JJ looked at her for a moment before realising what she meant and what she had been in fact trying to tell her. "Emily, don't you ever think that, I could never think that about you"

Emily starred at her blankly for a long moment before nodding "But I am" she said weakly "Shh" she soothed "Not here okay, we will talk when we get you home" JJ assured her, last thing she wanted was for Emily to completely withdraw into herself and the longer they were here the more likely Emily was going to retreat into herself.

"Em I need you to stand for me" she smiled warmly at her trying to pass as much strength as she could to her as she help Emily sit up fully with her legs over the side and JJ holding the tops of her pants so when she stood all JJ had to do was pull them into place.

Emily placed her hands onto JJ's shoulders as she placed shaky feet onto the ground "thank you" she muttered as JJ helped her to stand, as Emily took her in her arms for this first time since she had been taken. She smiled feeling Emily as she held her not daring to move as she knew any moment could cause Emily pain.

"Em" she said softly as the brunette nodded against her "Sit down please" Emily looked at her sadly "Shh, it's only because I need to ring Morgan to get us okay" she reassured her.


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18**

**Location: Sentara Potomac Hospital**

**Monday Afternoon**

Emily was silent as Morgan and Garcia seemed to busy themselves around her, JJ looked at her concerned; she had not spoken a word since she had changed her dressings and she had rung Morgan.

To JJ, she saw it as a black cloud had fallen around her, and she knew that she had to get her away from here, somewhere she felt safe, and somewhere she knew, not a hospital bed where people came and poked her, checked her body, which JJ noticed Emily couldn't even look at herself.

When she had helped her change her clothes she had kept her eyes closed, hardly speaking, but she wasn't guarded she wasn't hiding away she was open and raw and this worried her, it was as though she had got lost in her mind and she needed to be helped back.

"I have got you're medication Prentiss" Morgan said softly before turning to the other two woman around him "You two go to the car, we will be there soon" he promised,

JJ hesitated slightly "Are you sure?" Morgan nodded, he knew how to deal with her, or he hoped he did. "We will be right behind you" he promised as the they left the room Garcia glared slightly at him, before she noticed the very blank look on Emily's face, she was use to her being alive with fire, not still and quite.

Morgan turned his attentions back to Emily "Hey, you getting lost in your head again?" he asked Emily just nodded slightly "Come on let's get you in this chair" he held out his hand which she took with a little hesitation "Have you two spoke, at all" he said as he helped her into the wheelchair" "No" she said sadly "But you will right?" "I just want to go home Morgan" she pleaded with him "Okay, but try and let her in, you can't do this alone no matter what you think or feel," he said firmly, she squeezed his hand slightly and nodded as he started to wheel her down the corridor.

The drive was quite for Emily' she just stared out the window watching, as the other three of them chatted among themselves, as he pulled up outside the apartment, he looked at her "Let me help you inside" Emily shook her head and turned to look at JJ her eyes pleading for something, for anything really, she smiled back "Can you two take the bags and I'll help Em in" she said softly as she got out the car and walked over to Emily's side.

Wrapping her arm gently around her waist as Emily seemed to be holding on for dear life, "Em?" she whispered softly to which Emily gave a soft smile "I like it when you do that" she almost husked "Do what?" she questioned "Call me Em" JJ held her a little tighter as they slowly walked up and into the apartment complex.

Emily's eyes went wide as they walked into her home, everyone was there, a banner saying welcome home, but it didn't feel like home, it never had, it was just somewhere she slept, unless they were on a case, her grip got slightly tighter on JJ as she shyly walked in, she faked a smile at her friends, hoping they wouldn't notice, but she knew they would, they weren't profilers for no reason, they were good at their job.

"Welcome home" they all smiled at her, as she faked a smile back "Thanks, it's good to be home" JJ felt her tense slightly as everyone chatted around them, she was tired she was sore and more importantly she just wanted to be alone away from everyone, she need to think, she needed to clear her mind, so she could 'talk' to JJ.

But that wasn't going to happen anytime soon, JJ helped me over to the sofa, I winced as I sit down, she heard it and before I knew it JJ had gone, and then reappeared with water and painkillers, I look at her, to see how she knows, but I know why she knows, it is because she knows me, she sees me, and I for now only see her. "Jennifer" I mumble softly and she seems to know what I want and what I need as she takes the seat next to me wrapping her arm around me as though she is protecting me from everything.

Do they all notice when they are looking at me? Do they only see what they saw on that damned TV? Or can they see passed it, because I can't not yet, I lean against the soiled form next to me, as my eyes start to shut, I feel naked in front of these people, my family, I can't meet their eyes and I am sure that they see.

I can open up to Morgan, but the rest I hide away from, I am safe in her arms, but yet, I'm still hiding from her, what am I afraid of, what is it she sees? She looks at me and I see no pity, no condemnation, I see understanding and hurt, and I'm the one that put the hurt there, in those now somewhat dull blue eyes, a tear roll down my cheek as I try and hide in her neck, are they staring at me? On the other hand, do they know why I am clinging to her?

She seems to pull me closer as though she knows what it is I am thinking, I am I that transparent for her to see, and why is she not running? Her fingers gently run through my hair and I feel her lips on my head, I do not move, I am safe in her arms, but the guys are here and she is not hiding or pulling away?

I feel dirty, unclean and ashamed, I should have known better than to try to drown my sorrows alone in a bar! I should have known better than to have a drink with him, I knew he liked me, god why did I do that, oh right I know why, she had flirted back and I was not sure if she meant it or was just doing it for fun.

Just how can I be me? It feels like I am missing that something and I can't see it, can't feel it, she moves slightly and I grumble, she whispers something, but I'm so lost right now the words don't even register with me as she moves away from me, I feel cold and alone and I miss her strong touch, that grounds me.

I feel a hand on my knee as I jump at the touch I hear her say "It's only me" I relax again under her touch, my eyes remain closed I'm too scared to look, she touches my cheek and I lean into it so naturally, "Open your eyes Em" I smile I like how she calls me Em, I trust her just like I trust Morgan, but why is it so hard to let her in and see me?

She asks me again to open my eyes, but I can't because everyone will see, that I'm broken inside, she whispers again into my ear "Come back to me Em, I sent them home" it sounded like a plea, and I remain frozen leaning into her touch and she now tells me "Look at me" slowly I open my eyes as I speak "Jennifer?" I ask I need to know my mind isn't playing a cruel game on me "Open your eyes and see for yourself" her voice seems flat as though she's waiting for me, I open my eyes fully and I see, I see her, I see the fire the love and care all in her eyes as I shiver and stutter her name "Jen..ni...fer" is all I can say, as the floodgates finally open as I stammer, "help me"

**Early Evening**

JJ smiled warmly at her as the words **'help me'** played over again in her mind as she took her hand in her own "Always sweetie" she said softly, "But first you need to eat okay" she smiled so softly, it made Emily hold on tighter "okay"

Emily's wall never came back up to JJ's amazement, total unguarded and trusting, it made her smile inside and question herself, she always seemed to know what to say to people, how to help them, it was her job after all, but this was new, not because it was someone asking for help but because it was Emily asking for her help, not Morgan's not her Mother, but her.

For the first time in a week there was a peaceful silence between them, squeezing Emily's hand softly she rose from her knees placing a soft reassuring kiss on her cheek, "Em, I'm just going to go and fix us both some food, Hotch went shopping for us" Emily kept hold of her hand as though she daren't let go "Shh, it won't take long I promise" as she slowly removed her hand from Emily's grasp.

She knew even though they needed to talk, Emily needed to eat and not be pushed too hard or too fast and the first step had been made Emily had asked her for help.

She spoke softly but loud enough for Emily to hear her as she walked over to the kitchen. You know I remember the first day I met you; she smiled softly before she carried on. Even though Emily never answered, but she could see her watching her listening to her voice as she mulled around the kitchen.

"Hotch asked me to go through all the policies and procedures and I will be honest after Elle, I was reluctant, thought you'd be one of these people who was full of themselves, I judged you before I laid my eyes on you," she shook her head slightly.

"There you was standing at my door so shy and nervous, I looked at your goofy smile as you kept pausing as you looked at me as though you was profiling me. And for some reason I never minded, I got so wrapped up in you I haven't even offered you a drink until you said." She paused for a moment as she started to put things into the oven and started again once she it was in.

"And when Garcia walked in, you changed as though, you couldn't relax, but you stole my breath that day Emily, and you stole my heart the first day we had that case, they guys seemed to except you easily even though Spencer was a little off handed with you for a while, and yet you carried on, you even tried to help him"

JJ jumped slightly as she was rambling she hadn't seen or heard Emily walk up behind her, as she wrapped her arms around her waist "I'm sorry" she said softly "Emily, don't" "I am, I pushed you, I hurt you, and that isn't right" Emily continued "I want to let you in so badly it hurts but I'm scared" she sighed softly as she leaned into the blonde "I need you Jennifer, I can't lose you" she whispered "Where do you think I'm going to run to Em?" She shook her head "I don't know," she admitted as JJ turned in her arms to face her

"I told you I love you Em, and that hasn't changed" she said softly as she looked into deep brown eyes, she smiled softly, her walls were no longer there, it was as though she had come back to her but her voice wavered slightly still. She was unsure and JJ knew she was.

Emily made a sort of weak but honest joke "I don't know how you can stand so close to me, I must stink" JJ laughed softly "You are a little rip" she smirked slightly as the tension lessoned so it was an easy flow "Let's eat first" she looked deep into her eyes "And if you want, and you feel up to it, I will run you a bath, since Kelly said it will be fine now" JJ watched her as the flicker of doubt crossed her face at the thought of being completely naked as she murmured "Only if you are with me?" It came out as a rush. JJ nodded in response not fully sure how Emily really meant it.

He voice was unsure as she asked "how can you look at me" her eyes were sad and as unsure as her voice, JJ smiled warmly "Your still Emily, you have just been" she paused trying to find the correct words to use, Emily's eyes went downcast slightly as JJ found the words even though they may not of been the right ones "I see, I've felt it, but I've also seen your heart and I can see passed what your too scared to see" she said honestly

"Does, I mean" Emily stumbled badly over the words she was looking for "I need to see" JJ search her face and her eyes she swallowed hard "Okay" she was so close to her and she didn't know how else to express everything her feeling her doubts her fears the sickness she felt in her stomach so she took a chance.

She leaned in closer to her until their lips brushed and she kissed her so softly full of emotion, full of trust as JJ kissed her back with just the same amount of pure raw emotion, pulling back slowly Emily met her gaze "Thank you"

JJ kept her focus on Emily keeping hold of her in her arms as a tear rolled down her cheek "I love you" Emily whispered but her eyes were sad as JJ cupped her cheek running her finger gently over her lip causing Emily to shiver slightly. "Shh, I know Em" she smiled as she kissed Emily so softly and so gently Emily felt her world spin.

As long as JJ was there to guide her, she could do this. "Let's eat first okay sweetheart," JJ said sweetly as she kept her gaze as Emily nodded.

Placing a soft cushion on the stool JJ helped Emily sit down as she went back to cooking their meal. Once she had plated the food up and set it down taking the seat next to Emily. Emily gently took her hand in hers "Can you forgive me?" she asked as she interlaced their fingers squeezing gently as JJ smiled looking at her.

"I can forgive you if I knew what I was forgiving you for?" "For hurting you" Emily admitted "Morgan told me a few home truths" she smiled weakly "Em, I can forgive you for that, but I also know it may happen again and you won't be able to control it but I will ask one thing of you" Emily nodded watching her "don't shut me out, even if you can't find the words, okay" "Okay" Emily replied. Emily frowned slightly as she went to pick her fork up "Did Hotch make this?" she asked with a sceptical look. She laughed "Yes, but since Jack is alive and well, his cooking mustn't be that bad" she smirked as they both settled into silence, as they ate.


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19**

**Location: Emily's Condo**

**Late Evening, Monday January**

As JJ finished washing and drying the pots, Emily became more quite, more withdrawn, she walked up behind her wrapping her arms around her neck resting her chin on her shoulder as she whispered into her ear "You don't have to do this Em" she said so softly

Emily shook her head, before she spoke "I need to" JJ smiled, she didn't know if this was too soon, or how Emily would cope and deal with what she saw "Okay" taking her hand so gently, "Are you going to manage the stairs" she had totally forgotten about her weak muscles as she guided her to the bottom of the stairs. "Two choices haven't I" she said dryly.

"I could always ring Morgan and he can carry you up" Emily looked dangerously at JJ, as she started chuckling "I'll take that as a no" she said as she laughed. Emily took hold of the banister and slowly made her way up stairs as JJ followed behind her "Em," she said softly once they had gotten upstairs "Where's the bathroom?" Emily chuckled slightly forgetting the blonde had only use the toilet and never even seen her bathroom

"It's in my bedroom" she said softly "Jennifer, I know this may sound, as though, well," yet again she stumbled as she tried to ask, she hated being so vulnerable and weak, she sighed softly "I'll go and run the bath for you, Just don't do anything," JJ said firmly, she had never seen this side of Emily and she wasn't sure if she should worry, or not,

Emily sat slightly on the bed suddenly finding her nails more interesting as she started to pick at them, JJ watched her from the bathroom for a moment before walking over to her steadying her hands in her own, "Em, stop, you have nothing to worry about" she said softly as Emily's hand stilled into hers.

Emily looked at her so deeply JJ thought she was trying to find something that wasn't there. She looked at her for a long moment before speaking, "is the bath running?" her voice was unsure and she hesitated slightly "Jennifer, can you help take my, top off" JJ smiled softly "Come with me" she smiled as she stood up pulling Emily to her feet, she lead her into the bathroom so she could keep an eye on the tub filling up.

JJ carefully turned to look and more, studying the woman who was in front of her, slowly her hands reached for the buttons, keeping her gaze fully on Emily's eyes she unbuttoned the shirt, as Emily's hand flew up gripping her wrist to stop her "I..I…can't" her eyes were wide and scared as JJ stopped straight away, she placed her hand on her cheek gently rubbing her cheekbone "It's okay" she said softly

Emily sighed "can we turn the lights off, please?" JJ nodded, "Em, have you got a candle?" "Drawer next to the sink" she said weakly, JJ pulled out the candle and lit it, as she turned off the lights she sighed before turning around in the dimly lit room "That better?" as she walked back over to a dishearten brunette, she nodded, as JJ returned helping her out of her clothes, talking her hand she helped her step into the water and sit down "Comfy?" JJ asked, as Emily closed her eyes turning her head towards the side; anything so she didn't have to look, or see.

JJ got the cloth from the side, as she poured some shower gel onto it and lathered it up "Do you want to" JJ ask, and she got a shake of the head in response, JJ kept her movement slow and gentle, as Emily's skin was still slightly raw and sore from where he had rubbed her skin nearly bare.

Emily whimpered slightly as JJ ghosted the cloth over the top half of her body, before making her way down her torso, Emily's hand flew down gripping her wrist so tightly, "Em, Shh, I'll stop" "I can't, I.." she squeezed her eyes closed as she shuddered, "I know and it's okay" JJ reassured her "Baby steps, okay, there is no rush alright" she place a gentle kiss on her forehead, as Emily shivered slightly "But Em, your hair really does need washing" she joked as the sobs started to slow into hiccups.

Emily wasn't one to give control over to anyone, but right now she needed to let someone take the control away from her, and the only person she would allow near her, was JJ, she started to relax as JJ massaged the shampoo into her hair, as she began to risen it out, "Em," JJ said softly as she could see her totally relaxing and the last thing JJ wanted was her to fall asleep in the bath. "Mmm" "Come on let's get you out, before you catch a chill"

Gripping the towel and placing it over her shoulder she started to help Emily up, as she kept her eyes closed not want to catch a glimpse of her ruined body in the mirror, she helped Emily out of the bath wrapping the towel around her body "I need to turn the light on okay" Emily just nodded as JJ blew the candle on and flicked the light switch.

Wrapping her arm around her waist she guided the silent brunette into the bedroom towards the bed, once Emily was sat on the bed she walked to the drawer pulling out some grey sweats for her to wear, using the spare towel she slowly started to dry her legs, Emily for her part closed her eyes again as the shame washed over her.

Gently she removed the towel off her as Emily tried to protest "lights" Emily muttered as she gripped hold of the towel, "okay" she replied softly, once the lights were out and the room was dark aside from the shimmer of light which emanated under the bathroom door, did Emily finally allow JJ to remove the towel and dry her mutilated body.

"I just need to put some cream the doctor gave me" she said calmly knowing Emily might not allow it, but she sat there so passively as though she was numb "I'm sorry" she said softly once her top was finally on and the lights had turned on she looked at JJ "I just, I'm not ready" she finally admitted, "I know" JJ said softly, as she helped a very docile Emily into bed wrapping the covers over her, JJ went to leave, and go to the spare room.

"Jennifer" Emily took her hand not wanting to be alone, JJ looked at her for a moment "stay!" she asked. JJ nodded slightly before she spoke "Okay but let me go and get changed" she replied softly, Emily nodded letting go of her hand, as JJ walked out the bedroom and into the spare to get dressed, running her fingers through her hair as she tried to steady her thoughts and feelings, pinching the bridge of her nose before returning "I can do this" she said softly to herself.

Emily watched her as she entered the bedroom her eyes tracking her movements as the mattress dipped slightly as she got in pulling the covers over her "Hold me?" Emily said softly "please" Emily lay on her side as JJ curled into the back of her burying her face into Emily's damp hair placing a protective arm around her waist.

Emily sighed softly never in her life had she needed someone as much as she need JJ right now, her anchor, her strength, and her protection, which JJ gave her all this, as she held her in her arms, she thought to herself, she didn't know if this made her weak in JJ's eyes, but she was to ashamed in her own skin to even care, "Shh," the voice from behind her said as soft fingers ran through her hair as she whispered into her ear so softly "close your eyes and stop thinking" JJ whispered as she pulled the brunette closer to her, hoping they would both sleep peacefully tonight.

**Early Hours Tuesday Morning. January 2005**

JJ woke with a start; she naturally reached other for Emily thinking she was having a nightmare, but the bed was cold and no Emily. She groaned inside as she looked at the clock illuminating she sighs softly "Ugh! 2am" she muttered before hearing it again the noise that had woken her from her sleep.

Her eyes followed the noise not fully registering what she heard as the sleepy haze still covered her eyes. There it was again that noise she turned over to put the side lamp on to help wake her fully before turning back to make see if Emily was even there.

She froze her eyes focus on the white bed sheet and this time the noise she heard registered as she took in the deep colour of red on the sheets she cursed to herself, "shit!" slowly she got out of bed and followed the distinct noise of running water.

Slowly she walked over to the bathroom door gently knocking as she walked in, she felt her heart sink at the sight in front of her, "Emily!" she whispered as she rushed over to the shower cubical, "Em" she never looked at her or let on that she knew she was there.

She carefully put her hand under the spray as her heart sunk more, the water was ice cold, and Emily was still in her night wear "Emily" she tried again as she turned off the freezing water, Emily just stared her eyes empty and blank, JJ took hold of Emily's hand, she winced slightly feeling how cold she was and how her hand was trembling "Emily can you stand up sweetie" JJ said softly as she gripped the other towel off the heater.

Emily passively followed the lead of JJ, "Em, stay with me" JJ pleaded knowing from the distant look in her eyes, that she had retreated into her mind, and this scared her more than Emily pushing her away, gently she wrapped her in the towel tightly not even trying to take the clothes off her, as she guided her back into the bedroom, sitting her on the chair near the vanity.

JJ sighed softly, she needed help, and she knew she was going to regret doing this but the only person she knew could help was Hotch, but that had to wait till the morning.

"Emily, I need to get you out of these clothes okay" she said softly as she gently started to unfasten the soaking top off her "Damn it" she cursed under her breath, Emily's skin was pink with the coldness of the water, **'just how long had she been in there'** she thought to herself.

Emily sat there shivering and too docile even for JJ's liking, she flicked the heater on full trying to warm the bedroom up more, last thing they needed was for her to catch a chill.

Gently she started to dry her skin hoping it would warm her up slightly, as her body trembled under her touch, she dried her hair and placed a fresh top on her before trying to get her to stand so she could change her pants.

JJ could see where the blood had come from and it broke her heart, slowly Emily stood as she allowed JJ to dry her most intimate part, she ignored the blood that smeared onto the towel, right now all she was concerned with was getting her dry and warm, it could wait till morning.

She helped Emily into the fresh warm bottoms taking her into her arms as she held her close "I've got you Em" she whispered trying to get some sort of response but nothing came. "Just wait there a second" JJ went to move as ice cold hands took hold of hers.

She looked straight into deep chocolate eyes, searching for any sign that Emily was there with her, a weak voice spoke so quietly JJ only just heard it "save me" JJ stared at her for a moment, before she realise she was trapped in her nightmare, so fully detached from where she really was, placing her warm hand against Emily's cheek she nodded before speaking.

"You're safe Em" she said firmly, but softly before wrapping her arms around the shivering form before her, Emily was lost in her mind and thoughts and all JJ could do for now was hold her close and pray this cloud would pass.

She had an idea of what had made Emily retreat into her mind, and she hoped if she could just get this woman back into bed and in her arms she would feel safe again, and not caught in the terror that her mind held.

She guided her back into bed getting a somewhat docile Emily to rest against her and her head in her chest so she could feel her heart beating in a hope it would help soothe the terror in her mind.

JJ fell asleep a short time later, but her hold on Emily never altered keeping her close to her and her arms around her as her fingers played with her hair.

"Mmm" Emily mumbled as a shiver left her body, causing JJ to stir, the sun shining through a gap in the curtain lighting up the room, "Em" she mumbled as she started to stir more "J..ennifer" Emily let out in a soft sigh, JJ kept still as she carried on playing with her hair. "Love you" she whispered so softly, a warm smile spread across her lips.

JJ felt soft lips touch her chest as her stomach fluttered slightly, she kissed her forehead as Emily moved as close as she possibly could, "Jennifer" slowly she opened her eyes "Morning Em" she said softly "I'm cold" pulling JJ closer. JJ sighed softly. "Let me make you some coffee to help warm and wake us up" Emily nodded against her as she loosened her grip of the blonde.

Emily winched slightly as she started to get up, her whole body was aching and she was cold down to the bone as she shivered, JJ ran her hand down Emily's back as she got up "And you need your painkillers" JJ smirked as she sat up. "I know I'm sore" Emily admitted.

JJ got up wrapping the dressing gown around her, I'll go and make that coffee and get you your medication" she smiled as she walked out the room and head downstairs into the kitchen.

Emily got up slowly after JJ had left; she carefully pulled her dressing gown around her as she slowly made her way downstairs. Carefully she walked into the kitchen standing there for a moment as she listens to JJ on the phone.

"No, I am serious, she was freezing Hotch, and she is not much warmer this morning, can you please bring us some soup and electric blanket?" there was a slight pause "Thank you, see you shortly" she said softly as she put the phone down.

She walked further into the kitchen before speaking "Jennifer?" making JJ jump slightly "Jeeze Em," she gasped as she turned round, Emily smiled weakly as her "sorry" JJ chuckled "No you're not" she smiled softly. "What did Hotch want" JJ swallowed slightly "Em, I found you in the shower last night" she looked straight into her eyes keeping her gaze "Do you remember?"

Emily shook her head, "I remember feeling I was" JJ nodded knowing, "The water was freezing" Emily nodded "Sorry" JJ shook her head "I couldn't reach you Em and I hope you don't, and I just needed to speak to someone" JJ admitted which made Emily smile softly and for the first time since finding her the smile reached her eyes.

JJ finished pouring the coffees before placing them on the breakfast bar for them both "How do you fancy pancakes for breakfast" JJ smiled "Sounds good to me" "Then pancakes it is" "What time is he coming?" Emily asked "About 20 minutes and he's bringing Jack, If you're okay with that" "That's fine" "I promised him pancakes" JJ chuckled as she got everything ready for breakfast "Best not disappoint him then" Emily winked at her.

They sat there in comfortable silence for a while Emily was lost in her thoughts as she spoke out loud "There is blood on the bed" she said it as though it was an absent thought, JJ smiled sadly "I know I'll sort it after breakfast" she said as just a she stood to turn the cooker on pulling the frying pan out. "Sorry" Emily watched her for a moment.

"I feel lost Jennifer" she said softly, "do you think less of me?" the question caused JJ to turn round and stare at Emily for a moment before she walked over an cupped her chin "I could never think less of you" Emily frowned slightly as she looked into swirling blue eyes full of understanding "I need you to do something for me, please" JJ nodded unsure where this might lead to, "can you make me an appointment to see someone" JJ smiled warmly at her as she half chuckled "I have already asked Hotch to sort something out of us both" "oh!"

JJ smiled softly "Emily you are my best friend, but I'd like for it to be more" dark eyes looked at her as though she was trying to see is there was any hesitation or if JJ was just saying what Emily had dreamed for a long time "I've, you, I mean" Emily blushed deeply as she stumbled over her words causing the blonde to panic slightly,

Emily cupped her chin as she moved in closer, as their lips touched Emily poured all the love and care in to it trying to express her feeling which words couldn't describe or she couldn't say, she pulled back slightly "Wow" JJ said breathlessly "that was amazing" JJ blushed deeply "You're the one who is amazing" Emily said softly.

JJ stood there for a moment before the knock on the door pulled her away "Jennifer" Emily said as JJ retreated towards the door, she turned slightly to look at her "I'd like more as well" she said softly. JJ blushed slightly as she opened the door to a very hyper Jack and a bemused Hotch. "How is she doing" he asked softly as walked in "She doesn't remember last night" JJ replied sadly. He nodded as they made their way into the kitchen.

"Jack!" Hotch said a little shocked "I asked you to be-careful with Emily she still is poorly" Emily looked up at him "I told him it was okay" she said softly as Jack sat there with his head down, Emily wrapped her arms around the small boy that sat in her arms "He's fine Hotch" she smiled warmly as jack turned his head as he study her "You got a booboo" his eyes looking straight at her neck.

Emily nodded softly trying not to think about it as Jack leaned up and kissed it softly "Mommy always gave me a kiss to make it better" she smiled at the innocence in him "thank you" JJ and Hotch looked at her for a moment "pancakes" Jack said loudly as he bouncy slightly on Emily's knee, causing her to wince slightly.

"Jack come on get down" Hotch said as JJ handed Emily some pain killers, JJ started making breakfast for them all as Jack watched on, Hotch shook his head "Prentiss, can I have a word please" "Sure" Emily carefully got off the stool as her ribs were hurting after Jack bouncing on her.

She followed him into the living room as they spoke softly "I have arranged for you to see an outside counsellor, I feel this might be best, but you still have to see the internal one" Emily shook her head slightly "Thank you" she looked down slightly "Hotch" she bit her lip slightly "you know you can always talk to me, when do your physiotherapy start?" "I think Jen...JJ said in a couple of weeks after my stitches have come out" Hotch nodded "Good" he smiled softly "And Emily, look after her as well" she nodded and smiled softly "I will".

They both their way back into the kitchen as JJ was plating up their food "Coffee?" Hotch laughed slightly "Please" he smiled as he sat next to his son "JJ, I have managed to get you a couple more weeks off" she nodded "thank you" she said softly as she sat next to Emily, "So what are your plans today" Hotch said as he raised his eyebrow, which made Emily go very quiet "we haven't got any" "Well it won't do either of you to stay cooped up in here all day" he looked at them "I heard Garcia say something about movies at hers"

Emily looked at JJ "You should go" she smiled softly, the hesitancies betraying in her eyes. "I'll think about it" she raised her eyebrows at Hotch slightly as they all began to eat, Jack placed more maple syrup on to his pancakes "Mmm" he said as he wolfed his food down "Jack slow down you will make yourself sick" Hotch said softly.

After they had finished their food Hotch and Jack said goodbye before leaving "You know where we are if you need any of us, do not hesitate to ring" he smiled as JJ closed the door behind him.

Emily sat on the couch picking her nails as JJ sat beside her taking hold of her hand "You need to stop that" she said firmly looking at her fingers; she had picked them that badly parts had started to bleed. Emily looked into blue eyes as she spoke "You know your amazing" JJ blushed slightly but shook her head "listen to me please" Emily continued.

"You once asked me how I can do the job and not flinch and that I compartmentalize everything" she swallowed hard "I can't do that this time Jennifer and I don't know what to do or how to get" she paused finding the invisible lint on her pants more interesting "I close my eyes and I'm back there" she sighed "it makes me sick to my stomach" tears swelled in her eyes as she spoke.

"The beating" she closed her eyes as she tried to find balance in her mind "I guess I could cope with" she paused again "But when her took that whip and" she paused again, JJ gently placed her arm around her rubbing her back gently as she waited for her to go on "That was the worse pain I've ever felt," she sighed "I am ashamed, and I don't know if I am more ashamed because he violated me or because I was unable to stop it" she rambled slightly as her voice hitched.

"I kept thinking of you and the team, every time he came in or he touched me" as tear started to roll down her cheek, but she was adamant she was doing this as she pushed herself "He touched me in places and I just couldn't stop it" she pulled away slightly from JJ "I don't know if I am pissed at what happened to me or pissed at myself for the fact I was too weak to stop it" Emily wrapped her arms around herself as though she was hugging and holding herself together.

She sighed again as she finally looked into blue understanding eyes as she blurted the words out in a heart wrenching sob "there was nothing I could do to stop him" JJ wrapped her arms around her tightly "I know, but you have to stop blaming yourself Em" JJ rested her cheek against hers "He took part of you, but you can either let it eat away at you, or you can overcome it" she paused slightly "it will never go away but it does get easier Em I promise you" she kissed her gently on her cheek as she held her in her arms.

"How do you know it gets easier Jennifer, how can you be so sure and understanding?" Emily asked between the hiccups and sobs, JJ pulled her close "It doesn't matter how I know that it gets better, you just have to trust me on it" she whispered.

"You can't control what has happened, but you can control how you deal with it" she smiled softly as she thought of an idea "Em, do you trust me?" more seriously than Emily has ever heard her spoke before. "Yes, with my life" JJ smiled softly, "Then come upstairs with me and let me help you get through the hardest part" Emily frowned slightly as she became confused **'help me?'** she thought to herself as JJ took her by her hand "Okay" she said weakly allowing JJ to guide her.


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter 20**

**I have changed part of Emily's and JJ's past and also lowered the hers and JJ's age…Since Sarah is 15, so you either will like it or not…But please remember I only do it so it fits in with everything…I always do things for a reason :o) Thank you to those who have reviewed it means a lot to me as I know many of you may have read this the first time around….**

**Location: Emily's Home**

**Late Evening**

JJ led Emily upstairs feeling slightly nervous and hoping she was right in what she was about to do and wary of the reaction she might get for it, they walked into the bedroom, JJ let go of her hand and walked over to shut the curtains.

"Jennifer" Emily said getting scared and more confused when the room filled dimly as the sun casted a dim shadowy light into the room making it so they could only just make each other out. "Stop looking so worried" JJ smiled as she took Emily to stand in front of the full-length mirror.

"I can't" Emily said slightly starting to panic, as JJ placed herself in front of the brunette so she was leaning softly against her. "I know you can't" JJ paused slightly as she held the brunettes eyes in hers.

"When you look at me what do you see?" Emily studied her for a long moment "An Intelligent, beautiful woman and your kindness" JJ smiled softly and nodded "I see the same in you" she said calmly as she reached up to the buttons on her top "Jennifer?" JJ held her gaze "Would you ever think less of me or think I was ugly?" Emily frowned slightly as she watch JJ unbutton her top "Never" JJ nodded "What if I had scars?" she asked

Emily looked at her confused "Scars?" JJ nodded as she lent more into the solid form behind her "Scars" she said softly as she started to open her top. "You want to know why I know it gets better and easier," she asked softly as she started to remove her top.

"Because your Jennifer and you know everything" Emily said still holding her eyes in her own not watching JJ remove her top, JJ chuckled softly as she took Emily's hand in her own keeping her gaze with Emily, she placed her hand on her stomach.

Emily frowned slightly as she felt a bumpy line that seemed to travel the length of her torso "Jennifer?" she smiled softly "Do you feel that?" she asked as she still held her gaze "yes" JJ nodded slightly "Emily run your fingers down my back" she asked softly.

Emily nodded and did as JJ had requested, "What happened?" Emily asked as she felt more bumps and lines marring all over JJ's back. She looked straight into Emily's eyes "Now what do you see?" JJ asked firmly, Emily frowned slightly "I see you the same as before" JJ chuckled slightly as she nodded.

"You see Em, it doesn't matter what the outside skin looks like, and it is what lies beneath it that matters," she said calmly, Emily frowned as she asked again, "What happened?" JJ shook her head slightly "It isn't important what happened, it's important that you can see passed them," she whispered as Emily wrapped her arms around her tightly.

JJ moved slightly to turn the light on so Emily could see properly, as she walked back in front of the mirror, Emily again reached her hands around her pulling her close as her finger ghosted over the scars that lined JJ's stomach, before leaning back and doing the same with her back memorizing every mark every line.

Emily held her gaze again, before she spoke "Is that why you always changed in the bathroom, when we would share a room", Emily asked softly as JJ nodded "That and the fact I wanted to jump your bones" JJ chuckled.

"Can you see past these scars" she asked, "Yes your still beautiful and amazing and" she blushed "The stunning woman who I fell in love with" JJ smiled, "So do you know why I say that yours don't bother me, and also your sexy as hell" she smiled as Emily rested her chin on her shoulder

"It won't all come at once and you will feel dirty for a while but I want you to remember something" Emily nodded "that you will feel clean again and that, you will be able to look at yourself and see past all the scars"

Emily ghosted her fingers over the scars lining her stomach, as though she was burning them to memory, JJ watched while Emily's finger ran over and up and down the length of the scars the stretched across her torso and stomach. JJ shivered at the touch leaning more into her.

JJ turned in her so that she was facing Emily as she buried her face into her neck allowing her to look at the scars marring her back. Emily's fingers ran the length of her back as JJ shiver against her touch.

"Jennifer" Emily's voice full of concern, JJ kissed her neck softly "I trust you Em" as she lifted her head looking into Emily's eyes seeing the love and kindness there, the same eyes she fell in love with.

"Your beautiful" she said softly as her fingers trailed over her back, JJ smirked "You're not too bad yourself Prentiss" Emily blushed slightly as she felt JJ's hand tracing her back, leaning in ever so closely, their lips meeting as they kissed slowly JJ tongue running the length of her lower lip asking for permission to have access which Emily allowed.

Deepening the kiss as her fingers trailed up her sides gently catching the outline of her breasts. JJ moaned slightly into her mouth as the kiss slowly, JJ pulled away gently looking into her eyes. "Wow! Think I just saw fireworks" she chuckled softly.

"See nothing to be scared of Em, took me a long time to be able to look at myself and see past the scars but I got there in the end" Emily studied her face for a moment before smiling softly "thank you" JJ blushed. "I wanted to share it Emily because I thought it may help you see why and what I see" Emily again looked at her back through the mirror, as she noticed a tattoo, which just had two dates 1992-1994.

She frowned slightly as she looked at it "What do the dates mean?" JJ buried her face "year I got them and the year I learnt to see passed them" she whispered "one day I will tell you how I got them, but right now it's not important, what is important that you can see pass them"

Emily nodded "I don't think I am ready Jennifer" she admitted as JJ nodded against her neck "You will know when you're ready, I just ask one thing" "what's that?" Emily asked, "You don't hide them from me, because I don't see them I see you" she said softly.

Emily tensed slightly "I will try, I just feel ashamed and scared right now" she replied. "I used to feel ashamed as well Em, but I got use to them, it just takes time" she kissed her cheek softly "give it time Em" she smiled looking deeply into her eyes.

JJ looked at her softly seeing Emily's mind working as thoughts ran through her mind, gently she rested her hand on her cheek "You need to stop thinking so much baby" she said softly, "I'm worried about Sarah" JJ nodded "I know and right now it might be best that she is at school," Emily said softly "why Em?" JJ asked, "I don't want her to see me like this it's why I asked mom to take her back" JJ smiled placing a soft kiss oh her lips "Let's go back downstairs"

"So we can either watch a movie or if you have any board games we can play?" JJ smiled as she saw the look of shock on Emily's face. "I don't have board games" she bit her lip slightly "Movie?" JJ said trying to hold back the giggle "Em have you ever played a board game?" JJ somewhat teased, but also hoping she was wrong until a very serious Prentiss looked at her "I was never allowed them" she said as she frowned slightly "Oh, that so needs to change" JJ chuckled

"Or you could tell me about the many different countries you have been too" JJ smiled sweetly as she saw a glint in Emily's eye "You really want to hear about that?" Emily said a little taken back. "Oh, most definitely" JJ beamed.

Emily blushed slightly, "No one has ever wanted to know about that" she frowned slightly. "Well I am not just anyone I'm I?" JJ smirked. "That's a definite" Emily smiled "are you sure you want to hear about it" she said as she bit her lip. JJ rolled her eyes "You want to hear about mine first?" Emily nodded "As long as I can hold you while you tell me" Emily said sweetly

JJ hesitated "I don't want to hurt you Em" JJ's eyes landed on her chest as she spoke. "You know where they are so I know you won't lean on them" Emily looked down for a moment as JJ moved closed leaning into her side and resting her head slightly on Emily's chest.

"As you know I grew up in East Allegheny, it's a small town and not much interesting happened there, well not interesting to most" JJ chuckled "I went to East Alleghany High School, where I fell in love with soccer and ended up as the captain of the varsity soccer team" JJ pause slightly.

"That would also be around the time I had my first and last girlfriend" JJ moved closer to Emily as she was finding it more and harder to speak about this part of her life. She frowned slightly "we split up after a few years, she told me it was a phase she was going through" JJ sighed slightly as Emily pulled her closer feeling the tension that had built in JJ "Jennifer you don't have to if it's too hard for you" Emily said softly to which JJ shook her head.

"As you know I love the Redskins" she chuckled "I even went to watch them with Spence and for someone who is a genius he couldn't follow it" Emily chuckled slightly "I guess it's too practical for him" JJ nodded "I earned a scholarship to the university of Pittsburgh." She smiled softly "I had no idea what I wanted to do, up until I heard Rossi speak on campus, that fall I enrolled in the FBI and well the rest is pretty much history" she smiled softly. "Also my ticket out of that place and yes I hate going back there so I avoid going back there" JJ admitted her voice as much as a whisper.

"You know if I tell you about mine we are going to be here awhile" Emily joked, "I guess I grew up in the Ukraine, but I don't remember much, I don't think my Mother was posted there long, we moved around a lot when I was growing up so it was always hard for me to make friends and be myself" she paused slightly, "It wasn't the best years of my life, but I did learn a lot and as you know I can speak a few languages aside from Russian" she giggled slightly. "Which I am only just passible in"

She sighed slightly "then we moved to Europe, which was lovely though I never want to go back" she admitted "Too painful" she said softly, "I also have a high distain for politics after seeing what it has done to my Mother, and what it cost her"

"Then we moved back to the US and I graduated from Yale, first time I could call a place my home" Emily gave a weak smile. Emily spoke softly "when I was 15 I found out I was pregnant and had an abortion" she stopped and waited for a backlash of saying that. JJ smiled softly as she kissed her under her chin "Then at 21 I got pregnant again with Sarah" Emily sighed as silent tears rolled down her face.

"What was your first girlfriend like Em?" JJ asked which caused Emily to laugh slightly as she held her ribs "Ouch!" she muttered under her breath, "My first year at Yale" Emily sighed softly "She was my roommate, it didn't last long, she said I was too closed off and too guarded" Emily admitted "I've dated a few after that but I never could let my guard down for a second" she started drawing patterns on JJ's arm as she spoke. "They were either around for money or to get a name for themselves" Emily went quiet after a while as JJ's stomach growled, "I think someone needs food," Emily teased as JJ nodded into her side

"But I don't want to move" JJ whined slightly "Your too comfortable" as she rubbed her face against Emily's side, Emily laughed slightly "You got your phone handy?" Emily asked as JJ wriggled her phone out her pocket "Yes" as she handed the phone over to Emily "Is there any food you don't like?" "Oh, nothing spicy, and that's also going to involve moving isn't it?" JJ half complained

Emily chuckled at JJ's protests "Yes but it will take over half an hour to get here" as she dialled a number she knew of by heart. "Hey John any chance you can do me a meal for two?" she closed her eyes slightly "No I'm not telling you, yes my usual" Emily sighed "And a bottle of your finest red" she drawled out as she smiled "No that's fine, okay see you soon" JJ moved slightly and looked at her "Em, have you got any money on you because I know I haven't!" JJ said as she looks at a now smirking and grinning Emily

"Emily? How are you planning on paying for the food? And you're not allowed to drink!" Emily pulled her closer "Very simply I'm not" she giggled JJ frowned slightly "Doesn't mean you can't" she smirked "There is a lot to learn about me Jennifer," she said softly as she placed her lips on her head "and the first one is I never pay at my own restaurant" she chuckled "Oh!"

JJ rested more against the strong form of Emily They were both pulled out of their thoughts by a gently knock at the door "I'll get it" JJ said as she started to move out of Emily's grip "Okay" she replied softly, JJ opened the door smiling at the delivery guy "Miss Prentiss?" the guy asked slightly confused "She's in the front room, do you need her?" JJ frowned slightly "Oh, no Ma'am" he said as he handed the food over "Can you let her know that we are all thinking about her, we heard what happened" JJ nodded "I will and thank you"

Emily slowly got up and walked into the kitchen pulling the plates out, "Jennifer? Is everything okay?" she asked, since she seemed to be taking longer than normal. "Yes, I am coming" JJ chuckled "this smells beautiful, what are we having?" JJ asked as the smell from the bag started to fill the room

Emily smiled "my favourite dish Arroz con pollo and for dessert Buttery Apple Torte" JJ frowned for a moment "Never heard of it" this caused Emily to giggle "Yes you have, chicken with rice" she smiled softly as JJ swatted her on the arm "You could have said that" she chuckled slightly

Emily smiled as she tried to plate up the food though her hands did not seem to want to cooperate with her "Jennifer, can you please?" she asked without hesitation as JJ gladly took over before the food ended up on the floor.

Once they were both sat and eating their meal aside from the moan that came from JJ as she started to eat "that is just mmm" she smiled as the rice fell apart in her mouth. "Em, what's going on with Sarah lately, she seems so angry towards you and is she… I mean is this as in us going to make her worse?"

Emily choked slightly on her food and blushed deeply "She knows all about you and how I feel towards you Jennifer" JJ stared at her for a while "You've talked about me?" Emily shrugged "I had to tell her she was trying to set me up on a dating site" Emily frowned "And that is just so wrong" she shook her head "As she put it, you're not getting any younger Mom you need to get laid"

JJ laughed as Emily finished "She didn't" "Oh, she did, and I stopped her allowance for a month, so thankfully she has never brought it up again" "I always said you'd make a great mom, is that why when we have cases it always affects you badly" Emily nodded "I always think it could so easily be Sarah" Emily sighed

"I can understand why" JJ said softly as they finished their meal "I think you have just spoiled me Emily that was the best meal I have had in a long time" JJ grinned, Emily smiled "well that was easy" Emily chuckled "don't take much to spoil you then" JJ rolled her eyes "Behave"

"So Jennifer what would you like to do?" JJ looked at her "Well we have an early start tomorrow, your stitches are coming out so we can relax with a film or play cards, cuddle up in bed or anything you want" JJ rambled slightly

"How about we cuddle up and watch a movie, I think I have popcorn in the cupboard if you want I can make some" JJ nodded "Sounds good to me, what film you want to watch?" "Oh just pick one, just nothing soppy I think we both have had enough tears this past few weeks" Emily smiled softly as she started to move the plates to the sinks "How about a horror?"

Emily glared at her slightly "Really? We are not at work and you still wanted to see blood and guts" Emily joked, "Well it's not really" JJ defended herself "or you have any good comedies?" "How about big daddy?" Emily said softly, JJ chuckled "Now Emily I didn't think you'd watch something like that" Emily smiled "Well I need something to take my mind off all the blood and guts"

JJ found the dvds and placed it in the player waiting for Emily to join her on the couch "Let me hold you?" JJ asked, as Emily blushed allowing JJ to wrap her arms around her as she leant into her.

Within half an hour of the movie, starting both Emily and JJ had fallen asleep; JJ stirred slightly as a slight rattle could be heard coming from the front door JJ tensed slightly as she tried to wake Emily up "Em! Wake up" she shook her gently. Still she got no response off her aside from a grunt.

The noise got less as JJ relaxed slightly, until she heard a bang coming from the hallway causing her to JJ and stir Emily some much "Jennifer" she whispered softly as fear crept inside JJ "Em, you awake" she rocked her again before hearing a very familiar voice echo form the hallway "Mom you there?" JJ frowned hearing Sarah's voice.

Emily grunted slightly as she spoke "Sarah I swear to god, you don't need to scream" Sarah walk further in "Well if you answered" she stopped speaking as she spotted JJ, "I was asleep, and you just scared the hell out of Jennifer" Emily replied as she started to get up.

"Sorry" she muttered as she walked fully into the room "Why aren't you at school?" Emily asked staring at her daughter, who in return rolled her eyes looking sadly at JJ "I couldn't settle mom. I was too but I can go back if you want me to" Emily closed her eyes as JJ moved slightly "I'm just going to make us a drink.

"Sarah come here" Emily said softly as Sarah walked over "Mom I don't want to lose you I keep having bad dreams and" tears welled in her eyes "Come sit with me sweetheart" Emily said as her daughter looked at her slightly scared "Your sore Mom" Emily chuckled causing herself to wince slightly "I will be more sore if my little girl can't come and hug her mom"

Sarah nodded as she leaned into her mom, "I know I got to go back but can I just stay home for a few days please mom" Sarah said her voice soft as the sobs came from her "Sweetheart you never need to ask to come home" Emily said kissing her head softly.

Sarah chuckled as she walked around to stand in front of them both "Sorry" she said softly as JJ stared at her "God she is your double" JJ whispered as Emily looked fully at her "What the hell did you do to your hair?" Sarah rolled her eyes "Fell asleep in a frat house" Emily laughed, "You never learn"

"I was hoping I could use my bedroom" Sarah joked looking over toward the kitchen "Unless" "No that's fine" Emily smiled softly "we have to go out early in the morning to the hospital though, we will try not to wake you"

"Mom, how bad is it really?" Sarah asked again "Nothing that won't heel okay, now stop worrying" Emily smiled as she pulled Sarah closer to her.

Sarah stared at them both looking them both up and down "You told her then? And she is still here" Sarah joked "Sorry Mom always said you might run if she told you" JJ blushed deeply as she looked at Emily "I always said the same thing to Garcia" she replied softly "Sarah, though it is lovely to see you, do you mind if we go to bed, I'm totally wiped out" "No that's fine Mom, I'll see you when you get back from the hospital" Sarah smiled softly.


	21. Chapter 21

**Chapter 21**

**Early Morning, Wednesday **

Emily moan softly, as a noise pulled her from her slumber, she listened trying to make out where the noise was coming from "No, stop" the voice mumbled as Emily opened her eyes her hand reaching for JJ "get off her" Emily frowned slightly as she sat up slightly.

Her heart tighten as her eyes fell on JJ her face was contorted in pain as she was mumbling in her sleep "NO!" JJ screamed as Emily tried to wake her gently "Jennifer it's me sweetie wake up" "EMILY!" JJ shouted as Emily tried again to wake her "Jennifer wake up sweetie, I'm here" she said firmly as a slight knock on the bedroom door came through "Mom! Is everything okay?"

"Jennifer wake up sweetie" as a heart wrenching sob came from the trembling form next to her, "I can't seem to wake her" Emily whispered , as Sarah slowly walked into the bedroom "Mom?" she whispered "You need anything?" Emily nodded "can you make us both a coffee while I try and wake her up, please sweetheart" as Emily again tried rocking JJ awake, Sarah nodded walking downstairs turning on the coffee machine.

Emily carried on rocking her gently as she started to stir "Mmm" JJ mumbled somewhat "Jennifer wake up babe" Emily pleaded, JJ moved closer to Emily as the tears fell from her eyes "Emily" she mumbled as her breathing started to ease "My sweat girl, I've got you" JJ moved closer trying to control the tears as she whispered "He was hurting you and I couldn't make him stop" Emily nodded "I'm right here baby and I am okay" JJ's body trembled as she finally started to fully calm down as the nightmare slightly left her mind.

Emily pulled the covers back over JJ as Sarah knocked on the door, last thing she wanted was for Sarah to see her scars let along JJ's "Hey" she said softly as she walked in with a tray carrying three coffees "I brought your coffee up Mom" she said kindly "I'm so sorry I woke you" JJ said as she blushed deeply.

Sarah rolled her eyes "You're not as loud as Mom, and no need to be sorry" Sarah passed them both their cups of coffee "Mom, I'm going to go back to bed, good luck today" she said softly as she leant over to give her Mom a kiss on the cheek "thank you" she smiled softly as Sarah left closing the door softly behind her.

JJ turned to look at Emily a little sheepish, "Hey it's okay Jennifer" she said as she ran her finger gently over her jawline "I'm sorry" she muttered "I think I have woke you more times than you have, so stop saying sorry and don't worry about Sarah she won't say anything" Emily said seeing the worry in JJ's eyes "You sure?" JJ half chuckled to herself as the embarrassment slowly wore away.

Emily smiled softly "She's my daughter, so she is more than use to it, we both suffer from them" Emily said softly "I guess we should start to get up" JJ said as she began to stretch "Drink your coffee first, do you want to tell me what you was dreaming about" she asked softly.

JJ moved closer against Emily as she spoke "I hate you had to go through everything Em" she said softly "and sometimes it gets into my dreams, I haven't had one since we got out of the hospital" JJ confessed, Emily nodded "might be because we are due there in a few hours" Emily sighed softly.

Emily ran her fingers along JJ's stomach as JJ tried to pat her hand away "stop that" she chuckled "I'm ticklish" "Sorry" Emily replied as she rested her hand on her stomach drawing patterns across her skin "You like doing that, don't you?" JJ asked "Touching you? Yes very much" Emily chuckled. "No, I meant drawing patterns on me" she smirked.

"That I do" Emily smiled as she went to move "Jennifer, are they taking all the stitches out today?" she asked , JJ shook her head "Just the ones on your chest, the other ones will come out on their own" she said softly "Okay" she said sadly "Em? What is it" Emily swallowed slightly "Will, I mean, you'll be with me when they take them out?"

JJ smiled softly "I will be holding your hand, try not to worry" JJ said as she finished her coffee "She really does make a good coffee, who taught her that" Emily laughed "Mother taught her" JJ watched her for a moment as the words slipped out so softly "I love you" Emily smiled at her looking into her eyes "I love you too Jennifer" gently placing her cup on the side she turned back round pulling JJ into a gentle kiss. "More than words can say," she whispered as she pulled away.

Emily started to get up out of bed as JJ followed suit "What you fancy wearing?" she asked Emily "Button shirt I guess, then at least I only have to open it right?" she asked "Yes, as long as I can remove it once we are home" JJ said somewhat jokingly "I'll get back to you on that" Emily teased as she walked into the bathroom to start her morning rituals "Damn it!" Emily cursed "Em? What's happened" "Caught that sore with the toothbrush" Emily said as she spat the blood out of her mouth.

JJ sighed, "I warned you to be careful, he really did some damage with that thing" JJ hand drew the O-shaped contraption that Rob had put in her mouth one too many times; Emily nodded as she swilled her mouth out.

'_**The past few days of being out of that hospital had been great Emily had stopped closing off.**_

_**Now she had gone back to not speaking about it and to be honest I am not sure if that is a good thing or not.**_

_**We seemed to have gotten somewhat closer I really do think showing her all my scars was a good idea, **_

_**Yet now I remember my past, but I dealt with that a long time ago, I just hope Emily can do the same. **_

_**There is something between them Emily said Sarah has nightmares as well, I am starting to think there is more to her past than she is letting go or shall I say letting me in**_

_**There again I am not much better, she has seen my scars, but I am not ready to talk to her about them yet.**_

_**She is not strong enough to deal with that on top of what she is already dealing with, I guess we have a lifetime to tell each other everything, she must have an idea what has happened to me but if she has, she has never said. **_

_**Even Garcia does not know about it, and very much like Emily, I want to keep it that way, so maybe I can understand why she is so guarded**_

_**the more I know about her the more I want, she kisses me and I see fireworks, maybe the sex will blow me away. **_

_**Okay really should not be thinking about that side because that cannot be planned or anything. **_

_**Is it wrong to say I am glad she got hurt? Even though I know it's not and I would never want anyone to suffer as she has, but on the other hand if she hadn't would we be like we are now, would she be fully unguarded around me, **_

_**god she looks at me sometimes and I swear she can see my soul which is a little creepy, but I love it, I guess I am just not sure what's going to happen she needs to be able to look at herself and stop hiding, **_

_**However, what happens when we go back to work, this job is her life and when I say life she lives breathes and drinks it, much like Hotch does, is it because she never had anyone to go home to? **_

_**I know when we get back off a tough case I curl up with my pillow and cry into it, I wonder after seeing this side to her, if that is what she does. **_

_**I also don't think I can sleep without her I need to know she is safe, the thought of her getting hurt again doesn't even bare a thought to, because I know it would kill me, **_

_**I wish I had told her months ago that I had feelings for her, and then she would not have gone to that stupid bar, ugh! That's our local bar as well, what if she can't face it?' **_

"Jennifer, are you nearly ready to go?" Emily asked, "Yeah just give me a second"

'_**Well that is my cue to leave, write soon Jen x '**_

**Location: Hospital Parking Lot **

**Early Afternoon**

Emily had gone quite since leaving the doctors room, locking herself away again, JJ opened the car door for her as she got in not even meeting her eye line, JJ closed the door before walking around to the other side "Em?" Emily turns and gives her a weak smile, her hand coming over to rest on her knee, as JJ set off towards home.

The drive back was quiet but Emily's hand never left JJ's knee, she gripped it not too hard but enough, as though she was holding on or grounding herself "Jennifer" she said weakly "That really hurt" she admitted as they pulled up at a stop sign, JJ turned to look at her "I have some cream, you want me to rub some in when we get back?" JJ asked carefully.

Emily never verbally answered she just nodded as she stared out the window, JJ pulled up outside Emily's home, switching off the engine before getting out, she paused slightly "Emily, we're home" she said softly, as she took in the blank expression on her face.

She walked around to the other side, opened her door, and helped her out "Talk to me Em?" JJ asked as Emily just wrapped her arm around her waist "I love you, you know that, don't you" JJ looked puzzled at her for a moment "Of course I know that, and you know I love you" JJ smiled softly.

Emily sighed softly "We are going to have to tell Hotch aren't we?" Emily asked as though her mind were somewhere else "I don't want to split the team up Jennifer" pulling the blonde closer into her side "But I also don't want to lose you" JJ chuckled slightly "Em, we already have Hotch's and Rossi's support in this," JJ gave a slight smile "Oh, I forgot"

"Still might be best we speak to Hotch…Unless you don't want to... I mean if you're not comfortable with this...I mean us" Emily's words stumbled out in a rush "You want me to make a call, might be better to do it now since I'm not due back in for a few more days" JJ said as they made their way towards Emily's door.

Emily opened the door as they both walked in closing the door behind them "Jennifer" she paused as she spotted someone other than her daughter sat on the couch; Emily gripped JJ's hand as she called out "Sarah?" "Hey Emily, JJ" said a now standing Garcia as Emily shuddered inside. "Hey Garcia, have you been here long?"

Garcia smiled as she rose her eyebrow "About an hour" "You want a coffee Em?" JJ asked as she glared at her best friend "Please, you want a drink Garcia?" "No just had one, Sarah just went for a shower," Garcia said with a questioning look on her face. Emily nodded ignoring the look she was getting as joined her friend on the other side of the couch.

"When did she get back home?" Garcia said softly "Last night" Emily said with a slight unease in her voice. "Here you go" JJ said as she handed Emily her cup, before sitting behind her so Emily could lean into her "So what brings you here?" JJ asked softly "Oh, I wanted to check on my two favourite people" she replied happily, as she looked between them both.

JJ rested her hand on Emily's stomach as she started to draw patterns with her fingers "Been a long morning, just been the hospital" JJ said as Emily stayed very quiet, "Is everything okay?" "Yeah everything is fine," JJ said as she gave Garcia a look that said no it's not really.

Emily closed her eyes slightly as she tried to clear her mind, before shaking her head slightly "I'll be right back, I just want a word with Sarah," Emily said as she started to move away from JJ.

Emily left JJ and Garcia alone as she walked up stairs and into her daughter's bedroom, Sarah smiled softly at her Mom, as Emily broke down in her arms "Sorry" she muttered as Sarah comforted her "Don't be Mom"

"Are you two, a couple? As in official" she prodded "Yes we are but" she paused "We need to talk to Hotch first, and also I think for Emily's sake, you don't mention anything yet" JJ said very seriously "To anyone, promise me"

"I was hoping we could have a girly afternoon, if Emily's up to it? I've brought some movies" Garcia smiled, Sarah appeared behind them making both women jump "Mom will be down in a few" she said softly as she headed into the kitchen "You two want something to eat, I'm making chicken pasta"

They both nodded "Do you need a hand?" JJ and Garcia asked at the same time "No I'm good" she smiled "But thank you" "Garcia please tell me when you said you brought movies they aren't horrors?" JJ asked her as Garcia laughed "Men in black" she smirked "Thought you both might like it and I think we have had enough horror this month" "I second that" Emily said as she walked into the room.

Emily walked over to the couch and motioned JJ to move over as she whispered softly "I want to hold you" she smiled as JJ moved before she sat down, pulling the blonde close into her wrapping her arms around her softly "Mom are you going to have some?" Sarah hollered from the kitchen "No thanks sweetheart"

"JJ, Garcia would you like a beer?" Sarah asked as she walked in "That sounds good, but I drove over so I can only have one" Sarah scoffed "No-one ever just has one beer, and you can take my room if you need" Sarah said as she headed back into the kitchen leaving Emily glaring at her retreating form

"Anyone would think this is her place" Emily joked "But, she's right you can stay here Garcia" she smiled warmly as JJ snuggled closer into her "Thank you shall I put the DVD in or shall we wait for Sarah?" "She won't be long just put it on," Emily said softly.

Garcia placed the DVD in turning the player and TV on before sitting back on the couch as they waited for the movie to start. They ate their lunch; the conversation was light and easy as they all settled back to watching the movie. Emily was randomly drawing patterns on JJ as they watched it, before they put the second movie on.

Emily hadn't said much in the past half an hour and JJ was getting a little concern as she couldn't see her from the angle she was lay "Em?" she said softly as Sarah cleared her throat to get JJ's attention "She's been asleep for the last half hour" she said softly as JJ settled back down into her arms and nodded at Sarah "Thanks" she whispered.


	22. Chapter 22

**Chapter 22**

**I have moved this story on a few weeks…**

**Location: Emily's **

**Monday, Early Morning. **

Emily groaned as the sound of the alarm buzzed through the bedroom covering her face with the pillow trying to ignore the conferral droning of the alarm "Hmm" JJ stirred as she reached over to hit the snooze button.

She stretched carefully as she started to run her fingers over bare flesh "You could of turned it off instead of hiding" JJ said her voice laden with sleep as she ghosted her fingers so softly over the skin causing Emily to squirm "That would have involved moving" she whined. As JJ moved to sit on top of Emily "I'd rather see your face than a pillow though," JJ said playfully.

"How can you be so awake, and before coffee" Emily yawned as she moved the pillow, smiling softly into loving blue eyes "That would be because I went to bed early and you and Sarah stayed up playing poker" she laughed, as she leaned in kissing her softly. Emily kissed her back softly as she then pulled away "She leaves today" Emily pouted

"I know baby but the girl needs to go to school" JJ asked as she cupped Emily's breasts running her thumb gently over her nipple "Jen" Emily moaned softly at JJ's touch, JJ grazed her nails over her skin gently "You know" JJ said as she twisted her nipple gently causing Emily to moan out her reply "What" JJ smirked.

"I have to take a shower" as she moved off Emily, Emily groaned, "That's cruel" Emily pouted as she watched JJ retreat into the bathroom. Emily stretched as her bones popped back in waking her up fully "Jennifer? I thought you didn't have to be in till 8?" Emily said as she walked into the bathroom.

"We don't have to be in till 8" JJ smirked "Then why we up so early?" Emily complained slightly as she started to brush her teeth "You need a shower" Emily froze slightly "Oh, I can" JJ cut her off "That is why we are up early so I can help, okay" she said reassuringly" Emily made a disgruntled sound in agreement.

JJ stepped out the shower as she spoke "And plus you still struggle getting your bra on" she smiled as she wrapped her wet arms around Emily "So you want me to shower fully dressed now?" Emily teased as her top began to soak in the water off JJ.

JJ flipped the bathroom light off as Emily started to undo her top "Thanks" she said softly as JJ came up behind her wrapping her arms tightly around her waist "You're beautiful" she smiled as she kissed her cheek "Now get that sexy ass in the shower" she said playfully as Emily stepped into the warm shower.

JJ finished getting ready, as she waited for Emily to get out of the shower.

'_**There has been some improvement; the nightmares are less now for us both.**_

_**She still has not been able to look at herself yet, but I think she is getting there.**_

_**She has finally been cleared for desk duty, though she is not impressed since she hates paperwork.**_

_**but I am glad stops her worrying every time I leave and with Sarah is also leaving to go back to school I really want her close by.**_

_**She tends to panic if she is alone, which maybe a problem when she is cleared for field duty. **_

_**However, I am sure she will overcome it; she panicked the other day when I pulled my handcuffs out.**_

_**That wild fearful look in her eyes, which I have not seen since we came home.**_

_**I really need to find a way to help her overcome that panic; I just have not worked that part out yet.**_

_**I have never seen a mother and daughter so close, it is as though they can just read each other's thoughts through a look or a gesture.**_

_**Is one thing that makes me smile and I feel really honoured is she has not put the walls back up unless the guys are around.**_

_**The second we are alone she relaxes and I see all the sweetness and how much love she has for me.**_

_**Hotch has been a great support, though I think her Mother may have threatened Strauss but either way it turned out, with us being allowed to stay in the same unit as each other'**_

"Jennifer" Emily whispered as she walked into the bedroom, JJ placed her diary back into the draw as she turned and looked at her "You all finished?" Emily nodded as JJ picked up the cream "Lay down sweetie so I can put this on" she smiled softly.

Emily scars were still angry and red, and if she moved the wrong way it would hurt but at least they were healing and that was all that mattered to JJ as she started to massage the cream into her skin "these are looking so much better Em" Emily half smiled "What are the ones on my back like?" JJ sniggered "I won't know until you turn over"

This had become there day routine, Emily turned over as JJ started to massage more cream on her back before she leant over kissing her neck "They are looking good, and you just look as stunning as ever" JJ whispered in her ear, making Emily chuckle "Smooth Jennifer very smooth"

JJ got off the bed letting Emily move before helping her get her bra on, if it wasn't done carefully Emily would wince in pain, her ribs were healing nicely but the doctors have said she could be out for a few more weeks then back into light field work.

"Right you finish getting ready and I'll go and put the coffee on, and you can make breakfast when you come down," JJ teased slightly as Emily groaned, "You mean burnt toast for breakfast? Or can we just go to the deli on the way in and I'll buy you a breakfast wrap" she smiled sweetly as JJ nodded "Sure but coffee first"

JJ made her way downstairs sitting at the breakfast bar waiting on the coffee machine, Sarah snuck into Emily's room once JJ had gone downstairs "Mom" she said softly "Hey, did we wake you?" Emily said softly as she look at her "No you didn't I just wanted to wish you luck on your first day back, and Mom try not to worry" she smiled softly "When did you become so in tuned" Emily joked "I'm your daughter so it is my job" Sarah smirked before leaving her to finish getting ready

Emily made her way downstairs "You know I can feel you watching me" JJ ducked her head slightly "Sorry" "Don't be I like it" Emily retorted "Did we wake her?" Emily shook her head "No, we didn't" she replied as she took the offered cup off JJ "Ugh! I need to get into work mode" Emily joked "Work mode? I think we will be doing paperwork for a month" JJ glared at her slightly "No. what I meant is I have to say calling you JJ" Emily said sticking out her bottom lip "Oh" she smirked slightly "I still get to call you Emily" she teased gently.

**Location: BAU**

Emily groaned slightly as they walked into the bullpen "I said we'd be early" as they both entered the kitchen, "I know, but you at least get a head start on the paperwork" JJ said carefully as she bit her lip knowing that Emily, hated paperwork.

Emily handed JJ her cup "I know, and I am on desk duty for a few more weeks" Emily sighed "Hey" Morgan said as he came in wrapping his arms gently around her giving her a hug, Emily flinched slightly at his touch, Morgan smiled as he spoke. "We've missed you" he smiled "You saw me at weekend," Emily teased rolling her eyes.

"Yes! But that was social this is work, and plus that means I can hand you some of my paperwork" he joked as Emily glared at him "You can do your own paperwork" JJ walked up to her office as the rest of the team piled in.

"So any gossip?" Emily smirked as they looked at her "Aside from you and JJ you mean?" Emily rolled her eyes "I don't want to know" as they all sat at their desks just as Hotch walked in "Prentiss, nice to have you back" she smiled at him as she pulled out the first file that needed to be reviewed "Thanks"


	23. Chapter 23

**Chapter 23**

**Please remember I am not from the USA, so if I have made any errors or used terms that you do not, I am sorry but feel free to correct me.**

**Location: BAU**

**Late Monday Morning**

JJ looked down at the bullpen as she motioned to the file "Sorry guys" she said softly as they all began to make their way into the conference room.

JJ stood in front of the screen turning it on as everyone filed in taking their seats

Jacksonville Florida children have found a human skull and, another washed up on the riverbank. Last Friday another two more skulls were found included in the river's sediment. An autopsy proved the first two crania to be that of young people aged between 18 and 20 and the last skull found from a boy of approximately 12. In all cases, a sharp instrument had been used to separate the skulls from the torso and the flesh had been entirely removed.

It was initially thought that the human remains originated from the anatomical institute in Jacksonville or that they had been flung into the river by grave robbers fleeing from capture. Yet these theories are unproven and some boys playing on a marshland unearthed a sack containing human bones. It had become impossible for the authorities to keep these grisly finds a secret and, whilst young boys continued to be reported missing ("the number has grown to almost 600") Emily muttered to herself,

Jacksonville has been gripped by terror. The investigation highlighted that those missing were mostly aged between 14 and 18, a multitude of bones have been discovered, in the marshlands. More than 500 parts of corpses have been detected, the remains of at least 22 people, a third aged between 15 and 20. Approximately one-half had been in the water for some time and the joints of many of the fresh bones had smoothly cut surfaces.

"Wheels up in 20" Hotch said as JJ finished "Prentiss" "Yes?" she looked at him knowing what he was going to say "You haven't been cleared to fly yet, but you can help work the profile from here" he said "Okay" she nodded before looking at JJ.

JJ walked over to her seeing some of the fear in her eyes, JJ was the only one she would allow to see her fully "Jennifer" she said softly, JJ cupped her cheek as Emily easily leant into the touch "I will be careful, I promise" she smiled softly, Emily nodded "You best had be" Emily said firmly.

She had not been on her own since her attack and if she was honest she was petrified "You could always have Garcia stay with you while I'm gone" JJ tried as Emily shook her head "No, I'll be fine you just hurry home" Emily looked at her with her loving eyes before leaving the room.

They were greeted at the airport and driven to the local police station where JJ introduced the team and her and Reid started setting up, though they had already made a start on the profile, they would be able to add more to it once they had seen the crime scene and the coronary's report and looked at the bones.

The detective in charge came into the room as JJ spoke "We are ready to give the profile" "Already?" She smiled "We worked on it on the way over here, so if you could get everyone ready so we can begin" JJ said as the team follow out spreading along the far wall.

"The man we are looking for will already be known to the police mainly as a thief and sexual offender. He will be sympathetic in appearance, a simple man with a friendly, open expression and a courteous nature. Of average height, broad and well built, this shows with the age of the victims and the fact they were willing to go with him so they may have even known him" Hotch said as Reid took over

"His features will be generally small and unprepossessing as the rest of his appearance, he will be notability well-groomed, and At times he will appear cagey or calculating" Morgan took over

"Yet also talkative and hyperactive, desperately seeking sympathy and attention."

Rossi added in finally "he has a serve dislike for his father and from an early age and has continued this loathing throughout his life. He will also be someone who you least expect and far from evil looking"

They all filled back into the room as Hotch spoke "We all should go and get some rest, it's late we will meet here at 7" he said as everyone started to leave for the hotel.

**Location: Emily's home**

**Monday Late Evening**

Emily had left the BAU and headed home after reassuring Garcia she was okay, she laid down on the couch with a glass of wine, which she knew she would regret since she was still on pain medication, but she just couldn't settle or fall asleep she was already missing JJ and her mind had slowly started to sink back to the days held in the basement.

JJ had tried ringing Emily once she had gotten back to the hotel, but each time she just got voicemail, so she was hoping she was asleep, and not just ignoring her calls, JJ had learnt in the past few weeks that when Emily is alone for any length of time she gets lost in her mind, and this is something JJ fears, after the fifth attempt of ringing her, JJ sent Garcia a text **'Pen can you make sure Em is okay for me and let me know in the morning'** she hoped she'd get a reply.

Garcia phone made her stir slightly, whenever her team was away she always rested lightly so she was soon awake and reading the message before texting back **'She was pretty tired when I left tonight she is more than likely asleep she insisted to me she was fine but I will check, you know how stubborn she can be'** she replied before settling down again.

**Location: BAU**

**Early Tuesday Morning.**

Emily sat at her desk thinking to herself;  
**'I can't settle I can't eat, every time I do I feel sick, for the first time in my life I don't feel safe, I didn't know how much she held me together and grounded me, she has seen every part of me, my weaknesses my vulnerability my scars, and yet I still can't look at myself, I daren't get undressed as that would mean seeing, I try not to let her see the pain when I move, but I know she does, what if I can't do my job unless she is around me, my mind feels blank, I have been sitting here for the past 4 hours and my thoughts race as though I am still in that damn infernal basement'**

Emily groan slightly as she looked at the time, she had been lost in her thoughts since she had gotten to the BAU, lifting her head up as her neck popped into place she had been sat like that for so long she had even forgotten what time she had arrived at the BAU.

Garcia was stood in the kitchen watching Emily, she looked at her friend and even she could tell she had not slept at all. She sent a message to JJ **'Jay I don't think she has slept much, she was in before me and I checked the security footage and it looks like she has been here since 4 this morning and it's now 9'**

"You look like you need a coffee," she said as she placed a mug in front of her "Thanks Garcia" she smiled weakly at her. "How long you been in?" she asked as she took a sip trying to get her senses to fully wake up "Since six" she smiled as Emily looked away. "I'll come down to your lair with you if that's okay," Emily asked a little unsure.

Garcia smiled softly "Come on Emily" as she took hold of the mug, she had never seen Emily look this withdrawn "Emily, why don't you ring JJ?" she asked carefully, Emily shook her head "She'll be sleeping and she needs to concentrate on the case not worry about me," Emily said quietly

"Emily that girl is going to worry about you, even if you was stood at the side of you she will still worry just like you worry about her, so please ring her" Garcia said more firmly than she meant to.

Emily sighed "I lost my phone" she paused "Well not so much lost it, it may have bounced around a few walls last night, so I need to go and get a new one at some point today" she shrugged "Emily Prentiss you will ring her right now" she said handing her the phone and dialling the number "Before you panic her"

JJ stepped out of the shower after trying Emily again only to get voicemail "Pen?" she answered on the fourth ring "try again" she replied sadly "Emily! Thank god! Why didn't you answer you're phone?" Emily swallowed hard "I broke it so I need to get a new one" "Em, are you okay?" Emily half sniggered before she replied, "I guess" before she handed the phone straight to Garcia

"Jay it's me" "Pen? Where she go" she said in a sigh, Garcia smiled at Emily before walking out the room and closing the door "She handed me the phone, she doesn't seem herself" JJ voice changed slightly as she finished getting ready "Garcia if anything happens or changes you ring me" "I will do" Garcia said as JJ hung the phone up.

Location: Jacksonville, 7am

"Hotch" JJ said as she walked into the room "Emily's phone has broken so we can get her on Garcia's for now till she gets a new one" she said slightly flustered as Hotch raised an eyebrow "Is she okay?" JJ nodded; though she knew all was not okay "Any leads?" she asked changing the subject.

"There has been some developments, a body has been found early hours this morning we are hoping to get a DNA hit since, they must have been disturbed because, he was laid out in the open" Hotch said as he rung Garcia to do a background check on the person who had discovered the body.

JJ frowned slightly as Rossi spoke "What kind of person goes walking around at three in the morning in the marshland unless he has a good reason?" he pointed out, as JJ looked at his file "He's rapist?" JJ said, as she looked at his rap sheet that span over 19years.

"They are running his DNA through codas as we speak I would just like some background to leave with the officers then we can fly out this afternoon" Hotch said, "Was there any point us being here?" Reid asked slightly perplexed "It was a lucky collar or we could have ended up staying for a few more days" Morgan said as he handed JJ a drink "Look like you could use a coffee" he said kindly "Thanks"

**Location: BAU Jet**

**Late Tuesday Afternoon**

"JJ is everything alright?" Hotch asked as he walked over towards the kitchen, JJ nodded slightly "I just can't wait to get back home" she said as she continued to stare out the window. "Is everything alright with Emily?" He tried again, JJ looked at him "I think so" she muttered, just as her phone vibrated with a text message. **'I miss you'** JJ read the text and half smiled **'I'll be home in a few hours'** she replied.

**Location: Emily's **

**Late Evening.**

Emily sat on the couch staring at the window she had not slept since JJ had gone on the case; she had not really eaten much either.

'**I close my eyes and I am back there, I can smell the blood I can even taste it. I can't sleep because every time I do I am back there, waiting for death, waiting for JJ to save me again, I have never depended on anyone before, I have never let anyone control or take control, but yet I allow her so easily, I want to get lost in her eyes and in her warmth and feel safe but she isn't here' **Emily sighed softly as she place the paper down she had been scribbling on, onto the coffee table as she stood up

'**JJ I have gone for a run, I won't be long I just can't sit here any longer, Em'**

She left the condo and started a slow run, her body was not fit enough really to do this, but she needed to she had jogged up towards the gas station her body ached, but she needed this, anytime she needed to think or clear her mind this was how she did it.

She carried on for another mile before the burning coursed through her knees as she hit her old route before heading back.

**Location: Emily's **

**Just after Midnight Wednesday Morning**

JJ walked in to the dark condo her eyes focused the best they could until she located the light switch, sighing slightly as she headed into the kitchen turning the kettle on, she frowned slightly as she spotted the envelope situated on the table, after reading the short note which Emily had left she cursed as she grabbed her keys and headed straight into her car, she remembered the old route Emily ran sometimes since they had done it together but she was hoping she was wrong she head up past the gas station before following the familiar route praying Emily hadn't cut through the park "Damn it Emily" she cursed as she turned the corner her eyes searching the street.

She pulled the car to a screeching stop as she stopped a crumpled body of one Emily Prentiss in the middle of the path "Em?" she called softly as she knelt down next to her not getting much of a response other than a groan,

"Can you get up for me?" she asked as she gently ran her fingers through her hair removing it out of her eyes, Emily shook her head slightly. JJ wrapped her arm under hers and gently helped her up, taking all her weight before lifting her into the car,

JJ sighed as she got into the car and heading back home, "What were you thinking Em? You know you're not meant to do any physical exercise yet" JJ half scolded her voice though aired with worry, Emily gave little to no response as the car finally pulled up outside the house, JJ walked around helping Emily out the car

"Emily help me a bit here" JJ half joked as she tried to keep Emily upright and unlock the door, "sorry" she whispered as her shoulders slumped against the wall slightly, finally both women were in the condo were JJ could finally look at Emily dark rings were covering her eyes, her body seemed thinner, JJ just hoped it were the clothes and she hadn't lost weight which she couldn't afford to lose "Come on" JJ said softly as she took Emily's hand guiding her upstairs into the bathroom.

She gently cupped her chin lifting it slightly so Emily's and her eyes finally met "Let me run you a bath" she said softly as she started to draw a bath, Emily gripped her wrist a little tight as she turned to look at her, her eyes held raw fear in them, her voice was weak and so soft JJ only just heard her "sorry" JJ looked at her seeing the vacant expression she nodded as she spoke softly "Let's get them clothes off before you catch your death" JJ said as she helped her undress.

Emily averted her eyes as JJ helped her up, closing the taps off and helping her into the bath, she winced slightly as sore joints connected to the metal bath she turned her face looking straight at JJ her eyes sad but her words were even sadder "don't please" JJ ran her fingers across her cheek as Emily flinched slightly "Shh, baby, I'm not going to hurt you" JJ closed her eyes slightly knowing that Emily was lost in her mind and thoughts again

"I think you've warmed up enough, let's get you into bed" JJ said softly, though she never got any response off Emily. JJ pulled the plug emptying the bath as she helped one very docile Emily Prentiss out the bath wrapping the towel around her,

Emily laid slightly stiff on the bed still not daring to close her eyes, JJ walked back into their room and smiled softly as she watched dark chocolate eyes track her movements, "save me?" her voice weak and shaky as JJ's heart sunk.

JJ gently climbed into the bed laying on her back so Emily could snuggle into her, which she did, wrapping a protective arms around her waist as she played with her hair kissing her forehead "Sleep Em, I've got you" she said softly as she felt Emily's breaths get shallower and softer, as Emily moved in closer to her body. As they, both finally drifted off into slumber.


	24. Chapter 24

**Chapter 24**

**Location: Emily's **

**4.30am Monday Morning Three weeks later February **

Emily had been off for the past month, her body had fully recovered though her joints were still sore and she had yet to get cleared for field duty and that was why they needed to be in early today so Emily could finally get the all clear though she had to promise Morgan 20 hours of training a week, to which JJ was not impressed they were both stubborn both like the challenge and Emily hated to loose

JJ groaned loudly as she stirred slightly in the bed "Do you have to start the self-induced torture at this time in the morning" JJ half mumbled as she grabbed the pillow, placing it over her head.

Emily looked at her and shook her head slightly "Well I can always stop and we can be late for work" Emily stated as the pillow hurtled towards her "Well if someone hadn't had got an infection and the flu on top of it, you would have still been in work, but no you had to go running and nearly kill yourself" JJ grumbled as Emily half laughed.

"Well I want to be cleared" Emily half whined at her as she throw the pillow back at JJ "If you are going to wake me at this time in the morning you could have at least got me a coffee" She grumbled as she started to sit up more in bed.

Emily rolled her eyes "Look on your table" she said as she sat on the bed "Pass me your cream" JJ held out her hand as Emily passed the cream over before laying on the bed allowing JJ to rub the soothing cream into her skin

"Mmm" she mumbled, relaxing under the familiar touch, of her soft fingers, as they worked the knot out of her muscles "They feeling better today?" JJ asked, "Getting better every day I think" Emily replied as she turned herself to lean against JJ

JJ wrapped her arms around her body gently kissing her neck, this had now become the dance of the past few weeks gently kisses working themselves up, JJ unable to carry on, Emily smiled softly as she spoke "What are you scared of Jen?"

JJ hid her face in the nook of Emily's neck as she spoke "That you'll see the rest" she mumbled, Emily frowned slightly and choose her words carefully, running her fingers up and down her back gently "Nothing can stop me loving you ever, I've been hooked on you since the first day I met you" Emily said honestly

JJ shook her head slightly "I don't want you to look at me differently or" she paused hating how she sounded "Not that I think you will, it's just there are a lot of things I keep hidden" Emily nodded "well when you're ready I will be here to listen and Jennifer just so you know nothing you say or do will make me look at you differently or even pity you"

JJ smiled softly as she lifted her head up looking into Emily's eyes "You really are something else Emily" "I maybe that but we really need to get up and get dressed and then hopefully I can be allowed out in the field again" Emily half grumbled, JJ chuckled as she started to move "Yes Ma'am!"

Emily slowly removed herself out of the embrace she was in as she started to get up so they could get ready "You know I love you don't you Jen" Emily mumbled as she headed into the bathroom for her morning rituals.

JJ watched Emily close the door before setting her clothes out for the day and finishing her coffee, before heading into the second bathroom for a shower, JJ slowly stripped her clothes off looking down at the marred scars on her legs "how can I let you see" she whispers to herself "How do I tell you" she mumbles as she turns the shower on "Do I take a chance and show you" she thinks to herself as she lets the water wash over her

Emily walks back into the bedroom and starts to slowly get dressed ready for the day as she starts to dress JJ walks in wrapped up in her towel "Em promise you won't run?" her voice is unsure wavering slightly as she carries on standing in front of her before she backs out "I promise I won't run" Emily says looking straight into her eyes.

JJ trembles as she drops the towel allowing Emily's eyes to rake over her naked form. Her eyes run over the scars she reaches out her hand lifting JJ chin so she is looking at her "Your beautiful" she smiles softly the love shining through her eyes.

JJ blushes slightly, Emily kisses her softly as a moan escapes her lips JJ deepens the kiss pulling her closer as Emily's fingers run over her body "Em" she says breathlessly "We need to get ready" as she pulls away from her, Emily nods as she runs her fingers down her cheek. "Your cruel you know that" Emily smirks as she moves away to grab her clothes

"You're not repulsed?" JJ asks as she finishes getting dressed, Emily frowns "Do I repulse you?" she shook her head "Never" Emily smiles "You answered your own question" she smirked

**Location: BAU**

**Time: 9.30am**

They both walk into the bullpen, just as she goes to sit in her desk Hotch's voice booms into the pen "Prentiss, my office now" Emily looks wide eyed at JJ before walking up the stairs she knocks on his door and walks in "Hotch?" she asks slightly wary

"You get the all clear?" his eyes looking at a piece of paper on his desk "Yes" She hands him the form "So why have you been avoiding the calls from the hospital? The doctor rung me direct since you haven't responded to his letters or calls" Emily leans against the chair "I will deal with it Hotch" her voice slightly cold.

"Make sure you do it sounds important you might not like them but considering" "I know and I have my surgery booked for a months' time" he looks at her "I got the paper work for that, are you sure 3 weeks will be long enough recovery" she smiles sadly "Yes it should be, that everything?" she asks "Yes that's everything"

Emily walks back to her desk and collapses into her chair "Princess? Everything okay" Morgan nods towards Hotch's office "Oh yeah great" she rolls her eyes before pulling out the first file "You need to talk you know where I am" he says softly, knowing not to push her.

The day seems to drag and Emily can't wait to be going home "You nearly ready" JJ asks as she walks up behind her "Just give me five" she half smiles as she finishes her last consult of the day "You fancy going out for something to eat?" JJ asks, "Sounds good"

**Location: Emily's**

**Time: 6.45pm**

"So are you going to tell me where we are going?" Emily asked as she walked out the bathroom "No, you will find out when we get there" JJ smirked as she finished getting ready "So it's casual?" JJ turned and looked at her "Please tell me you have casual clothes and not all your clothes are over $100?"

Emily rolled her eyes as she walked over to the wardrobe pulling out jeans and round neck woollen jumper "Yes, well my jumper cost $90 if that's any consolation" Emily joked, JJ shook her head slightly as she let out a slight laugh "Funny" "You asked" Emily teased

An hour later JJ pulled up outside a small Italian which looked more like it had been closed down the dim lights illuminated the doorway Emily frowned slightly "Please Jennifer tell me, is it safe?" Emily asked as they walked towards the rather shabby looking restaurant "Really Em, just because it looks like a rundown dump doesn't mean that the food is bad", she smirked as she opened the door allowing her to walk in

Emily's eyes widened as she took in the out lay of the building they had walked into, the wall contrasted of small candled light which gave enough light to find your way through the small walk ways between the tables, each table had a small candle which gave a somewhat romantic feeling, some tables were set in booths with small tables for two, the rest of the seat where spread out into tables of 4 and 6 seating, there were a few people sat eating their meals and you can hear the low mumblings of people talking, it had a warm family feel to the place.

JJ walked over to the small bar "We have a booking for two, is there any chance we can sit at the back" JJ asked the man behind the bar, he smiled softly "Certainly JJ would you both like to follow me" as he walked from behind the bar

"Come here often?" Emily whispered into her ear as they followed him to the back of the restaurant to the booth which Emily was thankful that no one was sitting near "A few times" JJ said as they were seated "Would you ladies like something to drink?" he asked as they booth sat down

"Bottle of red please" JJ replied as Emily cut in "Can I just have a sparkling water please" JJ frowned slightly at her "One of us needs to drive back" she smiled softly as the man handed the menus over and walked back towards the bar.

Emily watched JJ for a moment "Jennifer is everything okay?" she asked as JJ became very silent "Well one I thought it was time for us to have a proper date and I need, I want to talk to you tell you something's and I am a little unsure how to" JJ admitted. "And this well neutral ground I guess" she replied as she fiddled with the edge of the menu.

"Your drinks ladies" he smiled as he placed the drinks on the table before pouring JJ's glass of wine "Are you ready to order?" "Can you give us a few more minute's please" JJ asked as she looked at Emily "Of course" he smiled before walking back to the bar.

They sat there for a few moments in silence as they looked over the menu, placing the menu down JJ reached across the table as she gently touched Emily's hand "There are things I need to tell you explain before" JJ turned away "We go any further"

"Look at me Jennifer" Emily said softly as she gently squeezed her hand drawing the blonde back to look at her "You can tell me anything" her eyes didn't betray her words as she conveyed all the feelings and love behind them, but JJ could still see the pain there, she nodded a slightly.

Emily signalled for the man to come and take their food order so they would be disturbed aside from when they brought the food over "Ready to order ladies?" Emily nodded "can I have some Focaccia to start with, followed with duck ragu please" he nodded before turning to JJ "What would you like JJ?" he smiled softly "Can I have the Liver Pate followed with carbonara please" before handing the menus back to him he nodded and walked towards the kitchen.

JJ sat across her eyes not focused on Emily but on a spot behind her as she toyed with the necklace around her neck "my childhood was happy, well for most part anyway" JJ sighed slightly as Emily squeezed her hand "I use to hang around with the girls that I played soccer with" she frowned slightly "we went camping kind of our last adventure as a group" she paused slightly

"There were always rumours around town, you see ten years before a group of girls went missing, they still, well haven't found them" JJ looked down "we set our camp site up near the old farm house" she glanced up at Emily as she tried to gather her thoughts "it was a good evening we joked laughed by the small camp fire we had set up" she swallowed hard as she tried to keep her emotions at bay "a few hours later we were approached by" she shook her head trying to not show her fear

"He was from the town over he spoke to us told us to be safe, and then he left or so we thought" JJ sighed "We went to bed in our tents a few hours later, I was woken up by someone's hands around my neck" JJ wiped her eyes stopping the tears from falling "He subdued me tied my legs and hands so I was only able to kneel or lay down, before dragging me out side"

They were interrupted as their food arrived, JJ turned her face as he set the plates down in front of them, and Emily gave a small smile "thank you" she offered before he retreated towards the bar. Emily stayed quite keeping hold of her hand sad eyes turned and looked at her "Can…I mean…I need to just get my thoughts together" Emily gave a warm smile and nodded "Let's have this and see if you want to carry on" Emily said kindly. JJ nodded as they started to eat in silence.

JJ started to finish as she spoke "he lined us all up outside the tent" she swallowed "the boys that were with us, got knocked out as me and Carly were placed in the back of his pickup" "Jennifer" Emily said softly she shook her head "I need you to know Emily, please" she nodded as she tightened her fingers around JJ's "Okay"

JJ offered a small weak smile "we were taken to what I can only describe as a barn, he tied" she let out a dry chuckle as she tried to keep her emotions at bay "well to what I can only say was a board but more like a circle as he was able to get to front and back" she stopped again as the man came and took the plates Emily smiled and asked for their main meal to be held back for ten minutes, he smiled in his agreement.

"he whipped us both" she ducked her head down not able to even look at Emily "if it wasn't the whip if was his fists, he told us how unclean we were, and how he was going to cure us" JJ half sobbed from the memory as Emily ran her hand comforting her along her arm "he, he" she swallowed hard as she closed her eyes. "He raped us both" she turned away in shame.

"Jennifer look at me please sweetie," Emily asked softly, JJ turned to look at her there eyes meeting there was nothing but love and compassion in those brown eyes, and a slight bit of anger. "I still don't understand why it happened or why after he in his words cured us, he dumped us both outside the hospital"

JJ let out a have laugh "You know if he hadn't had done that he wouldn't have been caught" Emily gave a soft smile "Please tell me he is rotting in a jail cell" JJ shook her head "He was until they found out what he had done, we weren't the first he had tried to cure, he was killed 4 months later" JJ shook her head "Emily I am glad he is dead, I am glad they did what they did to him, but part of me isn't because to this day I don't understand why we lived" JJ admitted

"It wasn't your time and I am glad he did as you put it 'dump' you at the hospital, because it gave us a chance to meet and for you to be in my life" Emily said softly, the food was brought over just as Emily finished talking JJ looked at him "Thanks Mark" he nodded softly as Emily frowned

"Who is he" Emily asked "a close friend" was all she could answer with, "Emily" she said unsure as she toyed with her food, Emily smiled and looked at her "Jennifer it doesn't change anything to me, I promise" she said honestly.

After they had finished there meal Emily had paid much to JJ's protest as they drove back towards Emily's JJ spoke breaking the silence that had settled between them "When I saw what he did to you, it reminded me so much of what had happened to me, I know you don't want to talk about it yet and I know their maybe questions you want to ask but for now, can we just go to bed and you hold me?" JJ asked as Emily reached over gripping her hand "I will always hold you, and I will tell you about Sarah just right now I just need time" Emily admitted as she pulled up outside.


	25. Chapter 25

**Chapter 25**

**Location: Emily's**

**Four Days later**

I know something is not right with her, she has gone more vacant over the past few days, and her nightmares seem to be worse so much that I had to get Sarah to come home, after Emily screamed for her and then would not settle. She has backed away from everyone, not so much me but I know she is not sleeping. I wake at night I either hear her in the bathroom being sick or she is in the kitchen, I think the team is noticing too, the dark rings seem to have taken up permanent-residents around her eyes.

I am so worried about her but how can I push her? I feel like an intruder some days, Sarah is like she always is, but we all learnt from the third time we met her that she wouldn't allow anyone to touch her anyone really near her unless it was Emily. You can still see the protectiveness now, watching Emily with Sarah is like watching a lioness with her cub, but is a law unto herself.

In addition, right now Emily seems to need the closeness from her. Part of me wonders if I should leave, but then Emily will cling to me as though I am grounding her, why is she shutting down and shutting me out. I heard Sarah mention that Elizabeth was back in town and it seemed to give Emily some comfort though nothing was said, just a look.

I remember the first day we met Sarah I do not think Emily was impressed because as Garcia will say Emily hid for a full week after. I felt so sorry for Emily she had only been with the team around a month when this 13-year-old kid stormed into the bullpen heading straight for Emily. Apparently, Sarah has inherited her mother's brains, and I think at the time Emily wished she had not been as vocal as she was storming in screaming holy hell that she stood someone up. How Emily kept her composer even when she raised her voice slightly.

You see you have this moment I think everyone has it where a child says something and you want the whole room to swallow you whole, or you think they are staring at you because your fly is open, your skirt is caught in your underwear. To me those things were not really that bad and you could laugh them off.

However, when a 13yr comes in shouting about she had set the whole date up for her, and how it was rude, but to class Emily as a man because she stood her date up. I think her exact words were **'mom I set you up with a hot blonde you saw a picture you liked! And you stood the hot blonde up only a blind man would do that are you sure your GAY!' ** I think that word flew around the office so many times it was like a massive echo even Hotch and Gideon stepped onto the catwalk as they watch Emily frog march her out the double doors and we just guessed it was either German or French she was shouting in.

How Emily did not seriously hurt Sarah that day is a miracle I would not have been shocked if she had a handprint on her arm, Emily seemed to grip her with that much force, and Sarah was struggling in her grasp that bad. It was in that second that I knew she would protect our family.

Garcia put it on a loop then on to disc, poor Emily had to suffer for three months after Morgan got his hands on it, well until Hotch put his foot down anyway. It wasn't that we were teasing her because she is gay it was because her 13yr had set her up on not one dating site but 20 and also set her up with that many dates Emily changed her number 10 times and wouldn't allow Sarah to have it till six months later.

Sarah use to turn up in our bullpen or in my office doorway if she was not at school. If Sarah was around and anyone would go to speak to them, Emily would place herself in front of Sarah, it hurt the guys and it hurt Garcia, but she has never has done it with me, which I have always found odd, but it has been like that since we first met her.

However, Sarah seemed scared of the boys, it did amaze me that anyone could be scared of Spence though I mean, he is as harmless as a puppy or kitten depending how you look at it

When you watch Emily out in the field she is so much like Morgan they are both protective not just of each other but of anyone else whom might get in harm's way, and Emily seems to always pay the price, I am surprised her brain hasn't been knocked out.

I remember the first time we learnt why Emily always placed herself in front of Sarah, I think learnt might be the wrong term to use though. Emily had been with the team awhile it was just before Gideon left. Sarah was waiting at Emily's desk on a Friday night we had just gotten back from a case. Everyone was exhausted, Emily I think it was safe to say mentally exhausted. And then it happened Morgan reached the bullpen before Emily, before any of us. He gently rested his hand on her shoulder.

God it was like watching a wild animal the fear in her eyes she flinched that violently the computer screen smashed off Emily's desk as Sarah tried to move away. I felt so sorry for Morgan and all Emily could do was give an apologetic look as she began to calm Sarah down. It was as if we were on a case and Emily was talking to a victim, a child and a terrified one at that.

I gestured for Emily to try to get her into my office away from everyone's eyes; Morgan looked devastated that he had scared her. In addition, there it was the same grip she had used on Sarah the day she had stormed into the office, but I noticed as I watched her gripe on Sarah was not as tight as I thought it was, it took Emily over an hour to get her to calm down. In addition, there it became the silent rule not to touch or go to close to Sarah. None of use questioned it and we still have not to this day.

I couldn't help smile that day though, as we all sat in the office as I watched Emily calm Sarah down, Emily had made her silent request to me and I didn't need it to be verbalised as I sat behind my desk, I watched on in amazement as Emily spoke. I had never heard her speak Portuguese before and it seemed to calm her.

But now it is Emily who is flinching and even when Sarah touches her, she has withdrawn so much in such a short amount of time, but she has kept to her word so far, she has not pushed me away or blocked me out on purpose. I know she is so lost and scared right now. I just wish she would let me help her, but I cannot help if she does not tell me what the problem is though I do think I may have a very good idea already.


	26. Chapter 26

**Chapter 26**

**This is the last chapter…I am working on the next part of this and I will begin posting once I have edited a lot of it….Thank you to all whom have reviewed and followed this story…I hope it is better a second time around…All Translations are done through Babylon so forgive me if they are incorrect…I will put the translation's at the end of the chapter…**

**Early Saturday Morning**

Emily stood at the window staring into the abyss she was torn she was scared she wanted nothing more than to wake the woman whom had been sleeping next to her for nearly two months but she couldn't she daren't, she didn't want any chance of losing her, she needed JJ and she didn't think JJ knew how much she needed her. In addition, if Sarah was honest she did not want JJ to go anywhere and Emily could tell.

Picking up the phone she knew that she would not get a great greeting until the person on the other end of the phone knew it was her. The sleepy voice of Elizabeth half snapped down the phone "Do you know what time it is and this best be important" Emily stayed silent for a few moments before she spoke "Desculpe mamãe, preciso de você" Emily heart broke as she spoke. "Oh Emily, aquilo que está errado, onde é Jennifer?" Elizabeth said as she started to get out of bed.

"Please can you come Mom, I need you please, Jennifer is asleep" Emily said as the tears fell. "I am on my way darling, you stay right there okay" Elizabeth said as she cut the phone off.

Jennifer had stirred slightly from her sleep reaching her hand over to where Emily was the part where Emily should have been was empty and cold; her eyes flew open as she looked towards the bathroom seeing no light.

She got up to doubly make sure before heading down the stairs, the worry stretched through her body as the past few times she had woken to no Emily at the side of her, she has found her under a freezing cold shower.

As she reached the bottom of the stair the dull light shone through guiding her towards the living room as she walked in she stopped looking at the two brunettes curled on the sofa Sarah had hold of Emily her fingers running through her hair. Jennifer approached slowly as to not frighten either of them.

"She's asleep" came the soft and low voice "Elizabeth what's" she shook her head and looked at the blonde and smiled softly

"She rang and I came" Elizabeth replied JJ nodded knowing not to push her; she just hoped that one day Emily would let her in fully. "Coffee?" JJ asked as she turned to walk into the kitchen as Elizabeth replied, "I'd love one" she smiled softly as she looked down at her sleeping daughter.

They both sat in the living room watching Emily sleep peacefully in her arms. The first proper sleep she had gotten in the past few days.

Emily had spent the day with Sarah, the whirlwind of Sarah flew through the house as the door slammed, Emily could do nothing but sigh and wait for her to come around and speak to her, she always treaded carefully with Sarah. She never wanted her daughter to have any more pain in her life than she had already had but right now, she needed her daughter to understand and listen to her.

"Sarah, você apenas ouve-me, por favor, não é como se eu planejado isso, preciso de você e eu amor você Sarah" Emily shouted through the closed bedroom door. "Será que Jennifer conhece e é seu? Mamãe você me disse que você estava bem, você mentiu para mim e você quer que eu seja o que bem com isto, com isto?" Sarah asked opening the door.

"No, not yet she doesn't Mom knows I wanted to tell you, and I did not lie I couldn't deal, so your inflammable mother is not perfect I thought you already knew this. Sarah I love you but I cannot get rid of another baby, it has done nothing wrong" as she opened the bedroom door. Emily said as she wrapped her arms around Sarah.

"I wish you had told me sooner. You need to tell Jennifer Mom, it isn't fair to keep this from her, you are my mom and I will always love you and stand by you and I think Jennifer will as well. Can I trust her not to hurt me mommy?" Emily smiled as she placed a soft kiss on Sarah's brow "She won't hurt you baby I promise"

**Sunday Morning 1.14am**

Being a prisoner to your dreams and to your mind can be worse than the real things it never stops in your dreams or mind there are no breaks it just keep repeating over and over again until your body finally allows you to wake. You can feel it repeatedly sometimes you can even taste it!

In addition, this was where Emily was at; the never-ending dream it feels so real. She screamed begging for it to end.

It ripped JJ from her sleep that screams the one that makes your hairs at the back of your neck stand upon end. She brushed the hair away from Emily's eyes. Emily flinched at the touch trying to move away from "please no please" she begged weakly she tried to curl herself into a ball anything to get away from the pain from the fear

She spoke softly and calm even though she didn't feel it watching someone you love care for be tormented even in their sleep is never easy it is hard.  
"Hey Em your safe"

You want to wake them but you know you cannot  
"I'm right here Em, Please wake up!" It was more than a prayer.

Sarah stood in the doorway looking at them both. Watching your Mother go through hell was not something she wanted to watch but she knew it would come

"JJ is everything okay?" Sarah asked keeping her voice low and soft

Emily started to stir slowly. As she woke she mumbled so softly her voice and fear running through her as her voice half screamed "Run Sarah and don't look back. Please".

Sarah's eyes went wide "Shit... Mom you need to wake up" her voice firm as JJ looked at her confused "Mom wake your ass up now" Sarah voice more firm as she walked over "Jennifer move" she warned just as Emily fist flew near her

"Mother" she tried again as she stood at the side of her "If all else fails this always works" Sarah gripped her mother shoulders as she spoke "Mom if you don't wake your fucking ass up I will"

Emily eyes opened wide the fear showing in her eyes as she searched her daughters face "Sa...Sa" "Yes that would be me" she gently ran her finger over her cheek "I…I" she felt something move next to her as she began to panic

"Em, it's just me baby" JJ voice wavered slightly as she looked at her "Jen" she frowned as the haze of the nightmare started to lift. Emily's eyes where unfocused as she looked at them both.

She was soaked with sweat she looked at them both in shame "I need a shower," she said weakly as she ducked her head. JJ's eyes softened as she lifted her chin "let's get you out of them clothes sweetie" "I'll go and turn the shower on, Jennifer can you" she looked at her mom "I'll go and make us all a coffee "Thank you" she smiled at Sarah.

"I feel sick" Emily mumbled as JJ started to remove her clothes "Let's get you warmed up babe" JJ said as she rubbed her back, she leant into her resting her head on her shoulder "What did I do to deserve you" she whispered as she kissed JJ's neck softly,

JJ smiled softly as she kissed her head "Oh I don't know" she kind of jokingly she was rewarded with a worried but honest smile "Thank you" "No need come on shower missy"

She smiled as she finally got her into the shower, as she gently washed her, Emily gained strength from her "Emily what was your dream about?" she asked carefully "basement and just something from my past kind of all mixed up" she said sadly. JJ nodded as she stepped behind her wetting her own clothes "Let's get us both dry Sarah is making us all a coffee" she wrapped her arms around her pulling her close to her allowing Emily relaxed into her.

JJ smiled softly as she helped Emily into a fresh pair on pj's, Emily had gone silent her eyes hid nothing all the walls were down but her pain was raw and she could tell she was working something as they slowly made their way downstairs

Sarah smiled at them both "Mom I made you something to eat" she giggled slightly as she placed the half burnt cheese on toast with Lea and perr sauce on it JJ raised her eyebrow "Comfort food" Sarah replied to the unspoken question.

Emily just nodded as she drew strength again from her daughter "Jen I need to tell you something" JJ watched her as she saw the shame and fear wash over her emotions and the pain in her eyes

"You can tell me anything" JJ let as much love as she could shine through as she gently ran her fingers against her arm as she sat next to her "Sarah" she whisper "Mom it's okay" she reassured her "Jen I'm…well I" Emily fell over the words.

JJ had a feeling where this conversation was going she knew something more had happened in the basement there was one part they could see and was not recorded on any feed or tapes. From what Morgan had told her, she still hadn't had the heart or stomach to watch any of them.

She waited for a moment before she spoke softly "Emily I am not going anywhere, no matter what I promise" she smiled softly at her "nothing you say will shock me" she looked straight into her eyes seeing the tears well in her chocolate eyes it broke her heart to see so much pain in her.

Emily nodded as she looked away and her words carried around the room so softly "I'm pregnant" she sobbed "I don't know what to do" her eyes pleaded as she looked at JJ "I know" was all she said as she wrapped her arms around Emily pulling her close "How?" Sarah asked

JJ smiled slightly "I knew something else had happened," she said softly "I'm not going anywhere no matter what you choose, Emily I love you," her voice conveyed nothing but love.

Emily-Sorry Mom, I need you  
(Desculpe mamãe, preciso de você)

Elizabeth-Oh Emily, what's wrong, where is Jennifer?  
(Oh Emily, aquilo que está errado, onde é Jennifer?)

Emily-Mom I am pregnant  
(Mamãe estou grávida)

Emily-Sarah will you just listen to me please, it is not as though I planned this, I need you and I love you Sarah  
(Sarah, você apenas ouve-me, por favor, não é como se eu planejado isso, preciso de você e eu amor você Sarah)

Sarah-Does Jennifer know and is it his? Mom you told me you was fine, you lied to me and you want me to be what fine with this, with that?

(Será que Jennifer conhece e é seu? Mamãe você me disse que você estava bem, você mentiu para mim e você quer que eu seja o que bem com isto, com isto?)


End file.
